How to Teach Assertive Language to Blind or Visually Impaired Children

Because of your child's visual disability, some people are able to take advantage of your child and have a habit of getting them to do things they'd rather not do. They may also wish to help your child out more than needed because of their disability, feeling the need to 'baby' them, even though they really feel uncomfortable with too much help. It's important to teach your child how to use assertive language correctly and politely to help with complicated situations when they occur. This article will explain how you can teach your child assertive language, even with their visual disability.

Steps

  1. Before teaching your child to be assertive, you'll want to make sure they're careful about certain remarks. Aggressive remarks are said in a rude, hostile manner, usually said while yelling, and does not show a sign of assertiveness. These remarks are usually quite hurtful and mean. Submissive remarks are done in a weak manner, letting the other person have their way without your feelings justified. When you're assertive, you calmly but firmly tell the other person what you want or need. Examples of aggressive, submissive, and assertive remarks include: [1] [2]
    • Aggressive remarks: "Give me that pen or you're gonna get it!", "Leave me alone or else!", or "Go do your own work, stop asking me!"
    • Submissive remarks: "It's okay, you can have it,", "I'll do it, never mind," or "It's fine, I don't need it."
    • Assertive remarks: "Please give me back my pen, I need it to finish writing my letter,", "I need some time alone right now, how about later?", or "I feel upset when you bother me while I rest, please wait until I'm ready to start."
  2. Coach your child and teach them when to say 'no' when they don't want something, making sure they stay respectful. For example, if Natasha doesn't want any bread rolls and yells that she doesn't want any, you can say, "Natasha, instead of yelling you don't want bread rolls you can say 'No thanks, I don't want any' in a kind manner". Do note that for a blind or visually impaired child, their tone of voice can be difficult to control at times and it may take awhile for them to respond politely. Keep trying, they will get it. [3]
    • At the same time, teach your child to not be submissive and not give in. For example, Caleb's sister snatches away the book he was reading. Caleb does nothing and lets her take it to avoid a conflict. You can coach Caleb and say, "Caleb, when Isabella takes something that belongs to you you should say, 'Isabella, I was reading that book. Please don't snatch it away from me. When I'm done reading, I can share the book with you.'" [4]
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  3. Coach your child to use "I" communication when they feel offended and want to mention a behavior that bothers them.The "I" message format states how you feel, describes the action, explains why it bothers you, and what you would like them to do instead. Some examples you could describe to your child: [5]
    • " I feel upset and angry when you touch my dolls without my permission because these dolls belong to me. I would like you to ask for my permission before playing with them again."
    • " I feel frightened when you don't state you're about to hug because I'm not able to see when someone touches me. I would like you to please tell me when you're about to hug me next time.
    • " I feel sad and upset when you make insensitive comments about my visual disability because I was born this way. I would like you to please stop making these type of hurtful comments.
  4. Your child's visual disability doesn't stop them from having good ideas and different opinions. Your child may not always agree with others and will find certain things unfair or unjust. Coach your child on how to react when they disagree with someone. For example, if Charlotte disagrees with having a dog as a pet and yells how the idea is stupid you can say, "Charlotte, if you disagree with the idea you can explain why you do in a calm, respectful manner." [6] You may need to give them examples on how they can argue and disagree in a polite manner. Some examples you could tell them:
    • "I disagree with going to the park as a family activity, I think it would be better to go the new zoo instead."
    • "I think the yellow color works better than the dark blue one because I'm able to see it more clearly."
    • "I don't think Jackson would make a good leader, I think Laura would be better."
  5. Yelling, name-calling, and bullying are not good ways to express anger and it's important to teach your child to avoid that, especially to younger blind or visually impaired children who have trouble controlling themselves sometimes. Coach your child when they are angry and ask them how they feel. Encourage them to use "I" communication so they can state their feelings clearly. [7]
  6. Most people want to help blind and visually impaired people as much as possible because of their disability. While this is perfect fine and acceptable, some children may not always want help and may want to do certain tasks independently, especially if they find it easy to do themselves. Teach your child how to politely decline requests for help if needed by simply saying "No thanks". [8]
    • At the same time, make sure you teach your child when and how to ask for help. Ensure they politely say please and know exactly what they want so they can get the help they need. [9]
  7. Set some time to practice using assertive language with your child. You might want to role-play with toys such as action figures or dolls to make it more fun. Create scenes where your child will need to use assertive language and have your child act it out and practice using those skills. [10]
    • If your child needs trouble finding the words, you can help steer them to the right direction and provide small hints so they can practice using assertive language correctly.
  8. Sometimes words aren't enough for someone to stop a certain behavior, such as verbal or physical bullying. Tell your child when it's important to call an adult for help when being assertive isn't working. When your child starts to get frustrated in a situation where the other person won't listen, join in the conversation and try to mediate it calmly [11]
  9. When you notice your child using good assertive skills with others, praise them for it and provide plenty of attention. Tell them how great and smart it was to speak that way, and how they handled the situation correctly. They'll try to keep up the habit and continue it in the future. [12] Some examples you could say:
    • "Nice job using assertive language with your little brother, Destiny. You did a good job using your words correctly."
    • "It was brave of you tell Tommy you didn't like his mean comments. Good job standing up for yourself."
    • "Nice job telling Ryan you didn't want to go, Mia. You used good assertive skills."
  10. Your child will always look after you on the way you treat others. Ensure you always use good, respectful assertive skills around others. This will encourage your child to act the same way and treat others this way as well. [13]
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      Tips

      • If your blind or visually impaired child is being hurt purposely, even after using assertive language, you call tell them to use more firmer language such as "Stop that", "Leave me alone", "Go away", or "That's mean". This should be only be used if using assertive skills does not work and the person is purposely bothering your child.
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      References

      1. ↑ http://www.kellybear.com/TeacherArticles/TeacherTip74.html
      2. ↑ http://www.familyconnect.org/info/browse-by-age/preschoolers/transition-to-independence-preschoolers/assertive-communication-/1235
      3. ↑ http://www.familyconnect.org/info/browse-by-age/preschoolers/transition-to-independence-preschoolers/assertive-communication-/1235
      4. ↑ http://www.familyconnect.org/info/browse-by-age/preschoolers/transition-to-independence-preschoolers/assertive-communication-/1235
      5. ↑ http://www.kellybear.com/TeacherArticles/TeacherTip74.html
      6. ↑ http://www.perkinselearning.org/scout/language-and-communication-children-visual-impairments-deafblind-multiple-disabilities
      7. ↑ http://www.familyconnect.org/info/browse-by-age/preschoolers/transition-to-independence-preschoolers/assertive-communication-/1235
      8. ↑ http://www.familyconnect.org/info/browse-by-age/preschoolers/transition-to-independence-preschoolers/assertive-communication-/1235
      9. ↑ http://www.familyconnect.org/info/browse-by-age/preschoolers/transition-to-independence-preschoolers/assertive-communication-/1235
      1. ↑ http://www.familyconnect.org/info/browse-by-age/preschoolers/transition-to-independence-preschoolers/assertive-communication-/1235
      2. ↑ http://www.kellybear.com/TeacherArticles/TeacherTip74.html
      3. ↑ http://www.kellybear.com/TeacherArticles/TeacherTip74.html
      4. ↑ http://www.kellybear.com/TeacherArticles/TeacherTip74.html

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