If you’re contemplating telling a man that you love him, it’s normal to be a bit nervous, since this will most likely take your relationship to the next level. Luckily, we’ve compiled a complete guide on how to tell a man you love him for the first time, from figuring out whether you’re ready to actually saying the words. We’ve also included expert insights from dating coach Cher Gopman, so keep reading!
Telling a Man You Love Him: Quick Tips
Pick a time when he's relaxed and in a good mood, and choose a place where you'll have some privacy. Look him in the eyes and say, “I love you.” Be patient and let him respond in his own time, and let him know that he doesn't have to say it back if he isn’t ready or doesn't feel the same.
Steps
Expert Q&A
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QuestionIs it really better to just tell him how I feel?Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.Relationships should be built on honesty, trust, and vulnerability. Don't be scared to show him how you feel so you can move forward together and have a deeper, more meaningful relationship. It's definitely scary to say how you feel, but it's the best thing to do, both for yourself and the other person.
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QuestionWhat if he doesn't love me back?Community AnswerIt's not necessarily a bad thing if he does not love you back. His feelings may be progressing more slowly. He may love you later on as your relationship continues to grow. Just because he does not love you does not mean that he does not care about you and want to be with you.
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QuestionDo I just blurt out "I love you"? Should I say something like "Hey, _______ are you in a relationship? If not,I would like you as a boyfriend." Which one is the best approach?Community AnswerIf he is not your boyfriend, you shouldn't tell him that you love him. Even if you feel like you love him, he may not respond well if you tell him this. Ask him if he is single. If he is single, let him know that you would like to get to know him better.
Tips
- Remember to be kind to yourself and practice self-care if you don’t get the response you were hoping for.Thanks
- Journaling, talking things through with friends or family members, or reciting some positive affirmations can help if you’re experiencing any feelings of disappointment.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
- Be honest about your feelings. If your past actions demonstrated your words, he may not be too surprised.
- Being patient with him is the best way to allow his love to grow if it is not already there yet.
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-savvy-psychologist/202103/5-ways-to-use-positive-self-talk-to-psych-yourself-up
- ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/gaslighting-emotional-abuse/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conquering-codependency/202106/4-strategies-cope-rejection
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/needy-person-in-relationships
- ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/self-awareness-matters-how-you-can-be-more-self-aware/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-name-love/201412/when-should-you-say-i-love-you
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-name-love/201412/when-should-you-say-i-love-you
About This Article
To tell a man you love him without scaring him off, wait for a good time when you’re both relaxed, in a good mood, and unlikely to be distracted so you’ll have his full attention. Avoid telling him when he’s sleepy or intoxicated, since he might not remember what you said in the morning. When the time’s right, simply look him in the eyes and say, “I love you.’ You can also take some of the pressure off of him by adding something like, “I understand if you’re not ready to say it back or if you’re feelings aren’t in the same place as mine. I just wanted you to know how I feel.” For more tips from our co-author, including how to figure out if you’re really in love or just infatuated with a man, read on!
Reader Success Stories
- "I have been dating someone for 4 months, and this article was great and helpful to me. I told him, and he has not said it back. Says it's too early, but I think he is afraid. He kissed my hand afterward, and that was sweet. He loves me, I know it, but I will wait for him to come around." ..." more