FAMILY AND FRIENDS<br />1.<br />“You’re not ‘family.’ You’re just someone I share Wi-Fi with who talks loud and listens zero.” <br /><br />2.<br />“You called yourself my friend, but the way you switched up, I should’ve kept the receipt.” <br /><br />3.<br />“Funny how you only come around when you need something — like loyalty's on sale and you forgot your wallet.” <br /><br />4.<br />“I got more support from a folding chair than I ever did from you.” <br /><br />5.<br />“You talk about being ‘real’ but been fake since birth — built like a wish.com sibling.” <br /><br />6.<br />“If you were any more two-faced, you'd qualify as a multiplayer character skin.” <br /><br />7.<br />“You didn’t drift away. You straight-up ghost rode the friendship into a ditch and blamed me for the crash.” <br /><br />8.<br />“I used to call you family… now I call you a cautionary tale.” <br /><br />9.<br />“Friends don’t stab you in the back — they stab you in the front and hand you a bandage. You didn’t even do that.” <br /><br />10.<br />“You were supposed to be my ‘ride or die’ but bailed before the car even started.” <br />ANYONE:1.<br /><br />“You bring nothing to the table except loud opinions and unmatched socks.” <br /><br />2.<br />“Every time you speak, a dictionary loses a word out of shame.” <br /><br />3.<br />“Your confidence is impressive for someone who fails basic human interaction like it’s a side quest.” <br /><br />4.<br />“Your personality’s like a group project—unreliable, unfunny, and somehow still takes credit.” <br /><br />5.<br />“You’ve got the emotional range of a broken vending machine — always stuck and disappointing.” <br /><br />6.<br />“Your whole vibe feels like a loading screen that never finishes.” <br /><br />7.<br />“Your comebacks are so weak, even your shadow distances itself from you.” <br /><br />8.<br />“You’re the kind of person who’d trip on a wireless signal and blame the sidewalk.” <br /><br />9.<br />“If awkward energy was a crime, you’d be on the FBI’s most wanted list.” <br /><br />10.<br />“Your best quality is that you eventually leave.” 🫠<br /><br />yo... if you dropped these in a group chat, at least 3 people are deleting Snapchat and writing in a journal by sunset 😭