Sexual Health: Start an open conversation about sex and what it entails. “You’re getting older and I want you to have all the right information before other people start talking about it, so I want to have a chat about sex today.” Use humor or a light tone to diffuse any awkwardness. “I know this is awkward, but it’s important!” “I want you to know all the information you need to stay healthy, and if that means making you feel uncomfortable for a 20 minute conversation, then so be it!” Tell her what sex is in brief, concise language. “When a man’s penis goes into a woman’s vagina, that’s the traditional definition of sex.” “There are also other definitions and variations, including homosexual sex, which we can talk about too.” Tell her about a few contraception options. “If a man and a woman have sex without any protection, there’s a really good chance that the woman will become pregnant. To prevent that, there are some modern health measures you can take.” “A few contraception options include condoms, the birth control pill, an IUD, and an implant. I can go into more details about those, and there are more we can talk about, too.” “Remember that the only way you can ensure that you don’t get pregnant is by not having sex.” Talk to her about healthy relationships, and what to do in case of emergency. “At some point, you’ll probably get into a relationship where you’ll have to make choices about sex. When that happens, I want you to remember your protection options.” “You never have to feel pressured to have sex with anyone, in any situation. If you ever feel that way, or if anyone ever makes you do anything you didn’t want to do, I want you to tell me right away.” ________________ General Health and Body Image: Tell her that it’s normal for her metabolism and body to change. “Every girl’s body changes during puberty, and that might mean that you start to eat more and gain weight. This is a normal part of your body development, and you never have to feel insecure about it.” Remind her that it’s still important to eat healthy and exercise. “As always, you should try to eat healthy foods and to exercise a lot. This will make your body feel good and stay healthy.” Tell her that her body is beautiful and strong, no matter what her weight is. “Some girls feel pressured to look a certain way, which can lead to things like feeling bad about yourself or even things like eating disorders. When you have an eating disorder, it means you try to eat less or get rid of the food in some way so you don’t gain weight. If you ever feel like your body isn’t good enough, or that you need to control what you eat, come talk to me.” “Your body is amazing, no matter what size it is or how it changes as you grow up.” ________________ Drugs and Alcohol: Explain what drugs and alcohol are and where she might come across them. “As you start getting older, you might start hearing about kids drinking or doing drugs. You probably know this already, but drinking just refers to drinking alcohol, like beer, wine, or liquor. Drugs could be things that you smoke or pills that you take to alter the way you feel and think.” Tell her that she never has to give in to peer pressure or do anything she doesn’t want to do. “If anyone ever offers you alcohol or drugs, or makes you feel like you should take them, remember that you always have a choice.” Give her a couple of ways to get out of drinking or doing drugs. “If you don’t want to drink or do drugs, you can use me as an excuse. You can say that your parents would ground you for weeks if we found out.” “You can always walk away from a situation that makes you uncomfortable. And no matter where you are, you can call me and I’ll come pick you up, no questions asked.” Remind her of the consequences of drinking or doing drugs. “You know that a lot of adults drink, but it can be really dangerous for someone who’s under 21. It can get you into bad situations, like drunk driving, and even permanently affect the way your brain works.” “Doing drugs might seem fun at the time, but it’s really dangerous. Your body is still growing and changing, and doing drugs affects all that, and can really damage it.” ________________ Reaffirming the Talk and Opening Up a Discussion Ask if she has any questions. “I know this is a lot to take in. Do you have any questions about any of this?” Remind her that she can talk to you about this whenever she feels comfortable. “Anytime you have a question for me, feel free to ask.” “If you don’t want to talk more about this now, that’s fine. My door is always open.” End the talk on a positive note. “I know this might’ve felt weird or awkward, but I’m glad we could talk.” ““I love you so much and I’m always here for you to talk about anything.”