wikiHow wikiHow Staff: How do you get to know a girl that you like? Maria Avgitidis: So the best way to get to know someone is to talk to them. If this is an in real life interaction, maybe at a social event or at school or in a business environment, just talking to them, asking them what their plans are for the weekend, breaking the ice by commenting on why you are currently at the same social event, can help people open up to speaking with you. If you catch them being very short with their responses, it might mean that they're not interested. If this is someone that you like digitally, so maybe you don't know them in real life--one easy way is to DM them, but I'm sure that person would be getting a ton of DMs. So what I would always say is just remind yourself with this person online, you don't know them. So you might not know anything about them that would mean that you would be compatible to be in a relationship or to be dating. wikiHow Staff: And kind of a similar idea here, how do you start a conversation with the guy you like? Maria Avgitidis: Again, it's the same thing. In a social context I think the easiest way to talk to a guy is to find a common person that you know and have them introduce you. But if you don't have that option, social commentary of the environment that you're in can be a really easy way to break the ice when you're meeting someone new. wikiHow Staff: How can I reject someone without breaking their heart? Maria Avgitidis: If you are trying to break it off with someone after you've had a first date, so in other words, you're not interested in a second date, you would text them the following two, three, or four sentences: "I had a good time and it was nice meeting you. Unfortunately, I don't feel long-term chemistry. Genuinely wishing you luck on your search! Thank you for being an absolute gentleman or lady on our date." So that is if you're not interested in going on a second date. If you want to break up with someone that you've been dating, the best way would be to do it in person. So you would meet in a public place after work. You also make plans with a friend for one hour after you plan to meet your current partner. You'll need an emotional support buddy and a way out of this tricky situation. And then what you would say to that person is, "I feel that this isn't working for me. I have decided it's best for us to break up and find people that are more suitable for each of us. I'm no longer interested in dating you. I don't feel that there is long-term potential in this relationship." You answer any questions this person may have, just to give them closure. And then you leave–you do not linger. wikiHow Staff: I like all this very specific advice here. So everything's extremely clear what you want, right? Maria Avgitidis: Yep. wikiHow Staff: How can I maintain a friendship if I kiss someone but don’t want to be in a relationship with them? Maria Avgitidis: It'll be very hard to maintain that friendship. Full stop. wikiHow Staff: Is there maybe additional advice just to explain why that's a non-starter? Maria Avgitidis: What I would say is time can definitely be a good break. So if you want to maintain the friendship of someone that you may have kissed, you need to give that situation time--time to just evaporate from existing, and that might take a year. wikiHow Staff: Okay, gotcha. What are some good ways to get over your first love? Maria Avgitidis: Time. Time and dating new people. wikiHow Staff: Gotcha. How can I tell if my ex still cares for me? Maria Avgitidis: They probably still do care for you. You may have been a significant chapter in their book of life, but they are not compatible with you, which is why you broke up. Don't confuse caring as desire. wikiHow Staff: Great. And how can I detect lies within my relationship? Maria Avgitidis: You can tell if someone's lying if they are either being avoidant about the subject, the times don't add up when they do tell stories, or they keep you at a distance, or close off when you ask them about certain things. I also think that if your intuition is that sensitive where you feel like someone's not really being open and trusting, you should have a conversation with them to talk it out, to talk about it. wikiHow Staff: Okay, right. So don't just think about it, try to get it out in the open. Maria Avgitidis: Right. wikiHow Staff: What should I consider when sleeping over at my boyfriend's house for the first time? Maria Avgitidis: In what context? If you're going to be sleeping with someone for the first time, you should be able to have a conversation about STDs and the consequences of having sex--be it STDs, infections, or pregnancy. You should also talk about protection. If you can't talk about these topics, you might not be ready to have sex with that person. wikiHow Staff: Okay, great. And how can someone stop being shy when they're being physically intimate with someone? Maria Avgitidis: Communication. Communication is paramount to a really positive sexual experience, so if you are shy to try new things or explore a new person, talk to that person about how you feel. And hopefully with an open dialogue, you'll be more comfortable to enjoy that sexual experience. Also, sex is not always going to be perfect the first time you have it with someone. It can be--having new sex is pretty exploratory. You're getting to know someone new. So you need to give it time and you need to have communication for it to get really great. wikiHow Staff: How can I be more comfortable just around someone I'm dating in general? If you're starting the relationship, and maybe you're still nervous about being with a new person? Maria Avgitidis: Keep dating, time. It's perfectly normal to have butterflies when you first start dating someone. But over time those butterflies or that nervousness should subside. What a lot of that insecurity comes from is our ego's way of protecting itself from rejection. But as you get to know someone, you should be able to put your guard down and be yourself. wikiHow Staff: How can I be kind and considerate to a guy that I want to fall in love with me? Maria Avgitidis: You can't make anyone fall in love with you. Most great relationships have a foundation of friendship. So being kind and considerate of others, regardless if you want a romantic connection or not, is socially acceptable and encouraged. You can't make someone fall in love with you, though. What you can do is be a great listener, ask good questions, and make that person feel good when they're around you. Page