Talking about themselves all the time People with great personalities seek to connect with others as opposed to giving a speech. The chart below gives examples of how to turn a one-sided speech into a more well-balanced and interesting discussion. One-sided Balanced discussion “Where did you take that scuba diving photo?” That was from my trip to Barbados. We went there for spring break. “Nice! Yeah, I’ve done some diving in Barbados as well, but honestly I didn’t like it as much as Hawaii. The water isn’t as clear and there’s not as much biodiversity. I’ve been diving in at least 15 different spots, and I have to say that Hawaii is definitely the best.” “Where did you take that scuba diving photo?” That was from my trip to Barbados. We went there for spring break. “How did you like it?” It was amazing! That was my first time scuba diving though, so I don’t have anything to compare it to. “Well, Barbados is a pretty good place to start, but nothing beats Hawaii.” Wait, you sound like you’re an expert! Ok, what’s so great about Hawaii? What’s your favorite board game? “I’d have to say Catan. It seems simple at first, but the strategy involved is actually very complex—it’s very similar to the types of decisions chess players make. I used to be one of the top players in the region, but I’ve fallen out of practice now.” What’s your favorite board game? “I love Settlers of Catan. Do you know it?” I’ve heard of it. It’s a trading game, right? “Yeah, on the surface. It’s actually pretty complicated—I’d be happy to teach you sometime.” Sure, that’d be cool! I’m obsessed with Clue. “Oh, that’s another great one. Are you more of a Colonel Mustard or a Mrs. Peacock?” Being inauthentic and fake People with great personalities are always honest with themselves. They don’t modify their interests or desires in order to fit in or make themselves attractive to certain people. Others will quickly be able to tell if you are presenting an inauthentic version of yourself. Remember, part of having and sharing a great personality is not about gathering friends for the sake of numbers. Instead, it’s about the quality of your friendships.