* Taking responsibility for someone else’s actions * “It was my fault the dog got out. Philip didn’t really understand how to take care of her, so don’t blame him” * Covering for the other person when they make bad decisions * “She wasn’t out, she was with me the whole night” (when she wasn’t) * Doing more than required to earn approval * For example, if someone asks to be picked up: texting them constantly about the time, asking if they want any food or drinks, arriving early, waiting if they’re very late * Feeling obligated to do what others expect, without consulting one’s own needs and feelings * For example, if someone asks for a big, time-consuming favor when the other person is busy, stressed, or doesn’t really want to help, but the other person does it anyways * Manipulating others’ responses instead of accepting them * For example, trying to convince someone that they don’t actually feel the way they do, e.g. “You’re not actually mad. You’re just jealous that I went without you” * Having a relationship based on need, not mutual respect * For example, being financially or socially dependent on the other person * Neglecting own needs to care for someone who doesn’t want to care for themselves * Feeling like one doesn’t have an identity outside of the other person * For example, if someone feels they can’t go a day without talking to the other person * Trying to change someone or solve their problems * Constantly worrying about what others think * Feeling trapped in a relationship * For example, not being able to see a viable way out of the relationship, constantly convincing oneself not to end the relationship * Finding it difficult to say no to the other person * Keeping quiet to avoid arguments * Making extreme sacrifices to satisfy the other person’s needs * Staying up all night to finish a project for them; driving far out of their way or at inconvenient times to pick the other person up; doing huge, last-minute favors for them