When to Confirm Before a Date (and How to Do It Casually)

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Best etiquette tips for confirming plans before a date
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Do you have a big date coming up and feel unsure about when to confirm it? Are you expected to confirm it at all, or does it come off as overeager? Dating etiquette can be pretty confusing, but that's what we're here for! Check out our complete guide on confirming a date ahead of time, including when and how to do it, with example texts.

When do I text to confirm a date?

After you initially set the date, reach out between 12 and 24 hours beforehand to confirm that it's still on. Try to avoid confirming earlier than 2 days before the date, as well as confirming at the last minute. Give your date some time to respond and remember to stay positive during the process.

Section 1 of 4:

When do I confirm before a date?

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  1. Whoever initiated the date request can re-confirm the date 1 day before or earlier on the day of the date. If you prefer to know what your weekend will look like before the end of the day on Friday, it’s ok to check in earlier. [1] If you confirm your date too early (over 2 days beforehand), you may give the other person too long a period to reconsider or flake out. If you wait until an hour or 2 before the date, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment, because they’ll assume you don’t care. It’s also considerate to give them time to prepare for the date . [2]
    • Confirming the details when you originally set the date is a good way to approach your plans, as long as you also confirm 12-24 hours before the date itself.
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Section 2 of 4:

How to Confirm a Date in a Casual Way

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  1. When confirming a date the day of or the day before, use details that make it easy for them to respond with a yes. Include the date and time you’re planning to meet, and the exact location, and ask them if that still works for them. Your politeness makes a great first impression and lets them know you’re aware of how to act on a first date . [3]
    • For example, you can say, “Hey, are we still on for dinner at Roberta’s this Friday at 8 pm?”
    • Another example: “Hi there! Are you still up for grabbing a noon lunch at the cafe on 5th Street tomorrow afternoon?”
  2. Even if you don’t hear back right away, don’t let negative thoughts overcome you. Everyone gets busy, and the other person may be at work or unable to look at their phone or answer a text or message. Always assume the best outcome, but if you don’t hear back from a 2nd follow-up text, don’t waste your time continually texting them. [4]
    • For example, you can say, “Hello there. I wish it was tomorrow already because I know I’ll be meeting you by then. Are we confirmed for dinner at 9?”
    • Another example: “The week needs to end already, so we can go on our much-anticipated date! Still ok for the movie at 6:30 Friday?”
  3. Your confirmation message can show off how great a sense of humor you have. Choosing your words carefully can help convey a lighthearted tone that helps put the other person at ease.
    • For example, you can say, “Hi—this is the guy you said looked like a small-town version of that famous actor:) Are we still meeting tomorrow at 6 pm for drinks downtown?”
    • Another example: “I know you can’t wait to take the world’s worst golfer to the mini golf course on Saturday😂…is 2 in the afternoon ok?”
  4. It’s important to let the person know how excited you are to meet up for the first time. If they get a sense that your date with them is one of 10 in a week, they may not care enough to follow through. Show them how happy you are to get to know them in person.
    • For example, you can say, “I can’t wait to finally meet you! Are you still free for tomorrow night?”
    • Another example: “I’m so excited about trying this new sushi place with you! Are we good to meet at 8 tomorrow night?”
  5. If you don't hear anything back in a few hours, it would be okay to send a short follow-up text (or call if you feel comfortable doing so). If you don’t hear anything at all, it’s likely that they’re not interested anymore, so it may be time to move on.
  6. Once you’ve confirmed the date and the other person confirms back, leave it at that so they can concentrate on getting ready for the date . If you’re the one they send the confirmation text to, don’t answer them in the same minute. You can wait anywhere from a few minutes to an hour to confirm back to them. Don’t wait longer than that on purpose, because they might get the idea that you’ve lost interest or are ghosting them.
    • For example, you could reply, “Perfect…see you there!😘”
    • Another example: “Sounds good to me. See you soon!”
  7. Plans change, and things come up. It’s ok if you have to re-adjust your date to a different location, time of day, or reschedule. If you do have to set a new date, be sure to apologize and offer a reason why you’re postponing. Make a direct plan for the rescheduled date, so they know you’re not just trying to cancel altogether. [5]
    • For example, you could say, “I’m so sorry—my work is going to keep me late tonight to finish a big project, so, unfortunately, I have to reschedule our date. Are you free next Saturday for the same plan we originally had?”
    • Another example: “I’ve been looking forward to our date all week. I might not be able to leave work until 6 tonight now! Is there any way we meet at 6:30 instead? I’m so sorry for the slight delay!”
    • Reader Poll: We asked 153 wikiHow readers how late a date has to be to give them a bad first impression, and 51% of them said they’d be okay with 5 to 10 minutes of lateness. [Take Poll] If you think you’re going to be late, give your date a head’s up!
  8. If they have issues with keeping the date, allow them some time to reschedule or make new plans. It’s ok to send a follow-up text, but don’t chase them with multiple messages. Stay positive and give it a few days. If you don’t hear back from your follow-up text, let them make the next move. If they don’t communicate any further, brush it off and move on. [6]
    • For example, you could say, “It’s no problem. When works best for you?”
    • Another example: “I totally understand. Let me know when you want to reschedule.”
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Section 3 of 4:

Text Examples to Confirm a Date

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  1. If you’re unsure of the exact time or place of the date, find out the information in your text. Use a positive tone and writing style that is welcoming to the other person. Be specific about any details that are missing from the initial plans themselves.
    • “Hey, it looks like I'll definitely be ready for those cocktails tonight. Is 7 still good?”
    • “Be sure to dress warm for ice skating tonight! See you at 8🕺💃?”
    • “See you later! I'll be the hottie in the red dress😘.”
    • “How's your day? Things have been pretty crazy over here! I’m so looking forward to grabbing those drinks tonight🍹 😎.”
    • “I hope your day's going well! Are we still on for 7?”
    • “Hey there, are you still up for grabbing a coffee tomorrow?”
    • “Would you prefer to meet me later or would you like me to pick you up?”
    • “I'm really looking forward to hanging out tonight. What time would you like to meet?”
    • “Hello there- I’m just making sure we're still set for 9 tonight at the movies.”
    • “I’ve been thinking about seeing you all week. Are we still confirmed for Friday’s dinner at 8?”
    • "See you at the concert entrance at 5? I’ll be the one with the dorky band t-shirt on🎸.”
    • "Are you still ok to meet me after work at the restaurant on the corner? I can’t wait!”
    • "Quick check-in: I still have the pleasure of meeting you tonight at the show?”
    • "So excited to see you later! Let me know if anything changes…”
    • “Looking forward to tonight, let me know if anything comes up.”
    • “Can’t wait to hit the town with you Friday evening. Can I pick you up at 7?”
    • “We’re going to have a great time at the comedy show. Are we meeting there?”
Section 4 of 4:

Confirming a Date FAQs

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  1. The person who originally set up the date should confirm the date 12-24 hours in advance or more. However, if you haven’t heard from them by then, feel free to send a “Are we still on for [date and time]?” text. One reminder text is fine, but if you don’t hear back from them, you don’t need to keep texting. It’s logical to assume the date is off until you hear from them.
  2. 2
    What is the most polite way to cancel a date? If you have to cancel a date, start by sincerely apologizing for the inconvenience. Be direct about offering to reschedule with details, if possible. If you need to figure out the details before you can reschedule, let them know you’ll be back in touch by a certain date/time to reschedule the date.
  3. 3
    Does confirming a date come off as needy or annoying? It’s good etiquette to confirm a date beforehand. Because of how busy modern life is, people often forget about plans they’ve made. A reminder helps bring the date back into focus. As long as your message is casual and thoughtful, confirming a date lets the other person know you’re on top of things (and that meeting them is important to you).
  4. 4
    Is it rude not to confirm a date? Not confirming a date is considered rude because it puts the other person out (and wastes their time). Even if they don’t hear from you, they may assume the date is on and show up, only to wait for someone who isn't coming. If you can’t make a date, simply reach out beforehand and reschedule with your apologies.
  5. It’s difficult to know how long you should date before committing to a relationship . Statistics often show that women are more willing to date, while men consider themselves in a relationship after about 6 dates. This figure isn’t the same for everyone; some believe that it takes 1-3 months to really know if you’re in a relationship or not. If you’re not sure, it’s best to have a conversation with the person you’re dating to understand how they feel and where they’re at. [7]
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/avoid-the-fizzle-period
      2. ↑ https://www.insidehook.com/advice/how-to-not-get-stood-up-for-a-date
      3. ↑ https://www.emlovz.com/how-often-should-i-text-her-after-setting-up-the-first-date/
      4. ↑ https://www.insidehook.com/advice/how-to-not-get-stood-up-for-a-date
      5. ↑ https://www.emlovz.com/how-often-should-i-text-her-after-setting-up-the-first-date/
      6. ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/avoid-the-fizzle-period
      7. ↑ https://sweetydate.com/blog/how-many-dates-before-your-relationship-is-official-16

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