How to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Special

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Expert advice on showing her love and care
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If there’s a special girl in your life, you probably want to make sure she knows how much she means to you. Whether she’s already your girlfriend or you’re trying to take steps in that direction, making her feel special goes beyond flowers and chocolate. If you’re trying to think of ways to let your lovely lady know how much you truly treasure her, keep reading for a comprehensive guide to wooing her, including expert tips from dating coaches. She’ll be swooning in no time!

How to Make a Woman Feel Special

Pay her genuine and unique compliments about both her looks and personality. Give her affection, both publicly and privately. Take her out on fun dates and show her off. Ask her questions, listen, and try to really get to know her. Be respectful, supportive, and thoughtful.

1

Tell her how beautiful she is.

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  1. Name specific attributes you love about her appearance. Girls love compliments , and no wonder: they let her know that you really care, and they make her feel good about herself. Maybe you're mesmerized by her eyes or her hair. Say something like, “I love the way your shirt brings out the color of your eyes,” or “Your hair is so soft and silky.”
    • Don’t be afraid to be “cheesy.” Dating coach John Keegan suggests you tell her things like, “Listening to your voice on the phone is like listening to a great piece of music,” or, “I could stare into your eyes for infinity and feel like I'm in heaven.” [1]
    • Keegan also notes that little things are worth saying, too, like, “I was just walking down the street and I saw something that reminded me of you and I had to tell you.” [2]
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2

Compliment her personality.

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  1. When you speak highly of both her physical appearance and her personality, she'll feel like she's the whole package in your eyes. Relationship coach Zachary Pontrello shares what he believes to be the most important thing when giving a compliment: “It has to be genuine. It has to be about something you truly love or admire about them.” [3]
    • Convey how much you like and appreciate her personality. Pontrello suggests that you let her know that you “really appreciate her doing [a certain thing], and that she’s special, and that you see her.” [4] You might say:
      • "Every time we're alone, you remind me of how fun it is to just do nothing together."
      • "You are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside."
      • "You make me want to be a better person every single day."
      • "When I look at you, I know what it's like to feel completely safe and comfortable around someone."
3

Show her unexpected affection.

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  1. When she's not expecting it, wrap your arm around her, squeeze her gently, kiss her cheek, neck, or forehead, and tell her something heartfelt about how she makes you feel. Look her in the eyes and give her a sweet smile. [5]
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4

Call and text her when you’re thinking of her.

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  1. Reach out to her just because. She’ll love that you let her know when she is on your mind. Spread it out so that each call or text is a heart-warming surprise, not so much that she comes to expect it. Texts you can send her out of the blue include:
    • "I miss you; was just thinking about you..."
    • "You really got me loving what we have together."
    • "Just wanted to say 'Hi.' I wish I could be kissing you right now."
5

Take her out on fun dates.

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  1. There are tons of fun places you can go together, like the park, botanical gardens, your local mall, or the beach. Take her somewhere she’ll feel prioritized, comfortable, and loved. Professional Matchmaker LeTisha Underwood encourages you to do exciting things together, explaining the two main benefits of these activities. First, it will show her that you want her to be involved in your life's journeys; second, the adventure will help you bond together by releasing a chemical called “oxytocin” that's responsible for feelings of love. [6]
    • Show that you care by taking part in the things that she loves doing. Going to see a chick flick, even if you think it will be boring, will tell her that you care about her needs, and not just your own. The fact that you are still willing to watch it with her will make her appreciate the effort you’re putting in.
    • If she wants to go clothes shopping, ask her if she would like to have you join her! If she lets you, help her find something to suit her best. [7]
    • Keegan suggests taking her out on the town regularly, especially if you live in a big, vibrant city. He says, “Taking her out for live music and a glass of wine helps keep the relationship fresh and alive.” He warns against falling into the Netflix-on-the-couch trap, as this can lead to stagnancy in the relationship and doesn’t make her feel appreciated. [8]
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6

Show her off in public.

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  1. Kiss her cheek or hold her hand when you are out and about. Don’t save affection for only private moments; show the rest of the world how you feel about her. She'll realize she makes you like the luckiest person in the world, which you are! Place a hand on the small of her back, squeeze her shoulders, or hold her close when introducing her to one of your friends. [9]
    • If she uses social media a lot, feel free to post photos together on social media. Post photos of the two of you, tag her at places, and change your relationship status .
    • Show her you are publicly committed to the relationship and that you are proud to show her off. However, if she is a very private person, this may make her uncomfortable, so ask first.
    • Don't be afraid to introduce her as your girlfriend if she is. She might be a little put off if you just introduce her using her name. If you haven't made it clear whether you two are boyfriend and girlfriend, stick to introducing her by name.
    • Don't let go of her hand when another person walks by. It could give off the impression that you’re embarrassed to be with her, or that you're interested in someone else.
      • If you're holding hands, wait for a good moment to break contact.
7

Treat her on special occasions.

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  1. Go all out for her birthday or your anniversary. For special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries, a grand gesture is in order. Buy her or bake her a cake , and give her a hand-written card telling her how much you love and value her. A good rule of thumb is to do one public thing for her and one private thing.
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8

Get to know her on a deeper level.

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  1. Digging deeper and getting to know her likes and dislikes is a huge step in making her feel special. Some people never bother to get really close to a girl because they're only interested in having a physical relationship. Don't be the person who doesn't know very much about their girlfriend or forgets what she likes and dislikes.
    • Ask her about her hobbies and find out what she's passionate about. Everyone is passionate about something, even if it's buried deep down inside. Find out what she loves to do more than anything else. Figure out what she likes about it. Try to understand it and be interested in it.
    • Ask lots of questions . Ask her about her childhood, her parents and siblings, her goals, her fears and desires, and her likes and dislikes. The more you know about her, the better you can comfort her when she's down, inspire her when she's stuck, or calm her when she's stressed.
9

Listen to understand her.

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  1. Think about what she’s saying, not how you’ll respond. No matter what she has to say, listen and try to understand what she’s going through—but don’t automatically offer advice or tell her what you would do. Keegan says that the number one most important thing is to “be a great listener, and actually hear her.” [11]
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10

Ask for her opinion.

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  1. Consider what she has to offer. Although you may not see eye to eye on everything, asking your girlfriend for her opinion matters. It lets her know you value her input and consider her when making a decision. It also demonstrates trust and willingness to be flexible, which are both essential in a healthy relationship. So, go ahead and ask her what she thinks of that new bold shirt you just got, and try not to be offended by her answer!
    • Listen to her criticisms . No one wants to feel criticized, but compromise is part of a healthy relationship. Take what she says to heart, try to change whatever is reasonable and fixable, and show her that you're in it for the long run.
11

Be patient.

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  1. Occasionally, your special lady may take a little longer than normal to get ready, which is okay! Instead of trying to rush her out the door, be patient and understanding. Don't try to make her feel guilty, especially if she’s already apologetic. She probably just wanted to look perfect for you and, hey, who knows—one day down the line, the tables could be turned and she might be waiting for you.
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12

Support her.

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  1. Be there for her, no matter what she’s dealing with or going through. Stick by her to show her that one of your goals as her partner is to protect and support her. If she's sad , ask her how you can make it better. Try your best to liven up her spirits.
    • Stand up for her when she needs it. You don’t have to fight her battles or get physical with someone, but don't let other people mistreat you or your girlfriend.
    • Comfort her whenever you can. Girls want the security of knowing that if something does happen, they won't have to worry about you jumping ship. Reassure her you're there to stay.
    • Pontrello suggests the following: “Get rid of your devices, take your partner's hand, look them in the eye, and genuinely check in on how they're doing.” [15]
13

Make time for her.

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  1. Prioritize spending time together. Although it’s perfectly fine for her to plan dates or hang-outs as she pleases, feel free to take the reins more often than not! Whether it’s a fancy night out on the town or a cozy night in on the couch, plan accordingly to make her feel appreciated. It can be as simple as setting up a pillow fort for a movie night at home with all her favorite snacks or going on a sunset walk to help her get her steps in.
    • When you’re proactive about spending time with her, it lets her know you’re investing in your shared future.
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14

Be romantic and cater to her love language.

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  1. Relationship Coach Sarah Schewitz says, “I think being romantic means going out of your way to do something for your partner that they may not expect. It kind of depends on your partner's love language.” [16]
    EXPERT TIP

    Lauren Urban, LCSW

    Licensed Psychotherapist
    Lauren Urban is a licensed psychotherapist in Brooklyn, New York, with over 13 years of therapy experience working with children, families, couples, and individuals. She received her Masters in Social Work from Hunter College in 2006, and specializes in working with the LGBTQIA community and with clients in recovery or considering recovery for drug and alcohol use.
    Lauren Urban, LCSW
    Licensed Psychotherapist

    Make sure that your sense of romance lines up with hers. Your natural way of showing affection might not always match their needs, and that's okay! Find a happy balance that feels good for both of you and respects your comfort level.

15

Surprise her.

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  1. Be spontaneous to keep the romance alive. The mere fact that you went out of your way to arrange a surprise date is often enough. Your date doesn't have to be elaborate. Tell her to meet you somewhere or pick her up yourself. Pretend you're doing something boring, like chores, and then surprise her with the date—like a movie, a cooking class, or a picnic somewhere remote. She might jump into your arms or look you lovingly in the eyes.
    • Before your date, find out what her favorite flowers are and send her a bouquet. One good place to figure out what flowers she likes is at the grocery store. When you’re there together, ask her casually what kind of flowers look good, and then take note.
    • Remember that different flowers symbolize different things. For example, while red roses mean love and romance, white roses mean friendship.
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16

Make her a gift from scratch.

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  1. DIY something for her. It's always nice to give her signs of your love, like cards, jewelry, or flowers. But making her something with your own hands is even more meaningful. The more personal it is, and the more energy you put into it, the better. Here are some ideas:
    • Make her a relationship journal. Buy a nice, blank journal. Write about when you first met her, all the first dates, and how she made you feel. Include pictures and other mementos, like movie stubs. Tell her that you want to take turns writing in the journal.
    • Make her a collage of all the mementos you saved from the relationship. Save brochures, tickets, stubs, receipts, and pictures that mean something to both of you. Tape or glue them to a nice poster board and give it to her.
    • Send her a video. Tell her how she makes you feel, what you love about her, and what you were thinking when you first met her. Set all of this to music and share it with her.
    • Do something for her parents. Maybe her mom needs help organizing a silent auction. Volunteer to help out with ticket sales. Your girlfriend will be overjoyed that you're getting to know her family, and that you'd do something selfless for them.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 577 wikiHow readers about the best gifts to give to a woman, and 51% recommended gifts related to her hobbies . [Take Poll]
17

Curate a playlist for her.

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  1. Use music to tell her how you feel. Music on its own can be very romantic, but making your significant other a playlist of all the songs that remind you of her would be the cherry on top. Think about songs she loves, as well as songs you listened to when you first got together. This jolt of nostalgia will remind her of what falling in love with you felt like, and give you bonus points for thoughtfulness to boot! Here are some love songs you might consider featuring on the playlist:
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18

Do little things to make her smile.

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  1. Going the extra mile doesn't have to mean some grand, romantic gesture we see in the movies or hear about in stories. Often, the really small things mean just as much, provided you do them with feeling.
    • Sing romantic songs to her, even if your voice is horrible. Have a song that's yours. Even if you butcher it, the singing can be an opportunity for both of you to laugh. It's sure to be a win-win situation regardless!
    • Find ways to send or leave little notes and symbols of endearment that will remind her of fun times you have shared together. A simple, handwritten note goes a long way.
    • Clinical psychologist and life coach Susan Pazak says, “Choosing behaviors that create laughter or tears is especially bonding…Watch a movie and talk about it afterwards. Dance, sing, do a project together, volunteer for a common interest cause, watch a sports game.” [19]
19

Take pictures together.

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  1. She’ll love having keepsakes or photos for her social media. She'll find it heartwarming to look at you standing next to her with both of you smiling. It also makes for a nice keepsake to remind her that you'll remember her and the fun you shared. And don't be afraid to kiss her on her cheek or forehead for a picture! She might find that even more touching to look back on.
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20

Keep trying to impress her.

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  1. Be your best self. Just because you’ve landed this special lady doesn’t mean you should give up on trying to impress her. Work on bettering yourself by pursuing an education, learning a trade, picking up useful hobbies, or working out regularly. Whatever self-care and self-improvement looks like for you, do it! She’ll fall more in love with you, and the effort won’t go unnoticed.
21

Show her loyalty.

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  1. Remain faithful. There are a ton of attractive young ladies in the world— but lucky for you, you’ve already got one! You can take your girlfriend out on dates, buy her flowers, and really get to know her, but if you end up betraying her trust, that could be a mistake that could cause you to lose her forever.
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22

Lead with empathy and forgiveness.

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  1. Be compassionate toward her. Everyone makes mistakes, but it's the way they bounce back from their mistakes that shows you who they really are. If she apologizes, is honest and genuinely sorry, try to forgive her . Chances are, she'll do the same for you.
    • Sometimes, it's okay to just let her win an argument. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in, but learn when to back down. [20]
23

Treat her with respect.

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  1. Be courteous and polite. This might seem like a no-brainer, but don't talk down to her, manipulate her, or say bad things when she isn't around. Treat her like a gentleman should treat a lady. Be respectful of her time, her effort, and her beliefs. It’ll help you earn her trust and maintain a healthy relationship.
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24

Appreciate her for who she is.

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  1. Her personality and beliefs are unlikely to change anytime soon, and this is part of what likely drew you to her in the first place. It's the easiest thing to say and the hardest thing to do, but it's true: love her for who she is, despite her failures, because she loves you in the same way, too.
    • Make a real effort to get to know her family and friends and try to become a part of her close-knit community.

Make Your Girlfriend Love You Forever With This Expert Series

You can never guarantee that someone won't leave you, but you can definitely stack the deck in your favor. Learn how to keep your girlfriend forever with this expert series.
1
Keep a Girl Forever
2
Keep Your Girlfriend Happy
3
How to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Special
4
Keep Your Girlfriend Interested in You
5
Make Your Girlfriend Love You
6
Treat a Girl the Way She Should Be Treated

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do I choose a gift for my girlfriend?
    LeTisha Underwood
    Certified Professional Matchmaker
    LeTisha Underwood is a Certified Professional Matchmaker and the CEO of Two Hearts Exclusive Matchmaking Services. With more than five years of experience, she specializes in helping marriage-minded people find their life partners. LeTisha holds a Matchmaker Certification from The Global Love Institute.
    LeTisha Underwood
    Certified Professional Matchmaker
    Expert Answer
    Pay close attention when she's talking about things she really likes. Take notes about what she's most passionate and excited about, and use that to help you choose a gift.
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      Tips

      • Be very careful and communicative about starting a sexual relationship. Making sure she’s ready and not just trying to please you is very important. [21]
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      • Always let her know how you feel. Your honesty will allow her to continue trusting and opening up to you.
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      • Try to protect her from bad people, questionable situations, and anything else that could cause her harm.
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • Although doing extra chores like dishes, laundry, and vacuuming all in one day may seem helpful, sometimes it can make her feel ignored, as if you'd "rather do crummy chores" than spend time with her. This may seem silly, but explain that you were thinking of pleasing her and trying to help out around the house. Talk it out to avoid misunderstandings.
      • Don't give her too much attention all at once or she may feel embarrassed, especially if you try talking to her while she's busy with something else. Try chatting when she seems bored or wants attention instead. Pace yourself in showing affection over time rather than all in one day so she has moments to anticipate you.
      • In long distance relationships, be patient if she doesn't respond right away to texts or calls. Maybe it wasn't the best time to contact her, she got busy, or had a rough day. Don't worry or make assumptions, just ask her about it later when she's ready to talk.
      • If you help her, even with small, silly things, keep it between the two of you instead of announcing it to others. This confidentiality will inspire more trust and openness in your relationship.
      • Make sure to keep a sense of humor in the relationship instead of being overly serious all the time. Sprinkle in lighthearted jokes and laughter - she'll love seeing your funny side!
      • Use sincere compliments from the heart instead of clichés, which can come across as cheesy or trying too hard. Make sure she knows you truly mean what you say.
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      References

      1. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      2. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      3. ↑ Zach Pontrello. Embodied Leadership & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 12 July 2022.
      4. ↑ Zach Pontrello. Embodied Leadership & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 12 July 2022.
      5. ↑ https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/love/ways-to-show-love-and-affection/
      6. ↑ LeTisha Underwood. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 14 December 2021.
      7. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/1964/03/02/archives/love-honorand-obey-on-clothes-more-men-are-taking-a-part-in.html
      8. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201408/what-we-really-think-of-public-displays-of-affection
      1. ↑ LeTisha Underwood. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 14 December 2021.
      2. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      3. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      4. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      5. ↑ Zach Pontrello. Embodied Leadership & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 12 July 2022.
      6. ↑ Zach Pontrello. Embodied Leadership & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 12 July 2022.
      7. ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
      8. ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
      9. ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
      10. ↑ Susan Pazak, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Professional Life Coach. Expert Interview. 22 February 2022.
      11. ↑ https://www.primermagazine.com/2015/love/what-every-man-needs-to-know-about-handling-arguments-in-a-long-term-relationship
      12. ↑ http://news.cornell.edu/stories/2012/12/fools-rush-sex-early-relationship

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      You can make a girl feel special by giving her unique, genuine compliments to show you really care about her. For example, try saying something heartfelt like “You’re as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside.” Besides complimenting her, show this girl she’s special by taking her to her favorite places like a restaurant she loves, the mall, or a movie she's been wanting to see. Above all, she’ll feel special if you’re proud to show her off to everyone! When you’re in public, try holding her hand or giving her a quick kiss. Or, if she uses social media a lot, post a photo of you two together to show the world how lucky you are to be with her. To learn how to step up your romance to make her feel special, scroll down!

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