260+ Funny Science Jokes, Puns & One-Liners

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Plus, mind-blowing science facts to impress everyone!
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Looking for a silly, short, or corny science joke to crack up the lab? We’ve got you covered! In this article, we’re providing the funniest science jokes, puns, and one-liners for kids and adults. Whether you’re a student, teacher, or just someone who needs a good laugh, keep reading for awesome jokes about chemistry, biology, physics, geology, astronomy, and more.

Top-Tier Science Jokes

  • What’s a pirate’s favorite element? Aaaaargon.
  • What kind of music do planets dance to? Nep-tunes!
  • What type of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms? “2 Na.”
  • What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-o acid.
  • What’s a geologist’s favorite ice cream flavor? Rock erode.
  • What did the biologist wear to impress his date? Designer genes.
  • Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide!
Section 1 of 13:

Science Jokes for Kids

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  1. Sharing a joke is one of the best ways to strengthen your bond with children, promote their creative thinking skills, and diffuse sour moods. [1] So, if you want to keep kids entertained and get them excited about science, here are some funny jokes to make them laugh and think: [2]
    • When do astronauts eat? At launch time.
    • How does the moon cut its hair? Eclipse it.
    • What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy hair.
    • What holds the sun up in the sky? Sunbeams.
    • How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea-saw.
    • What is a tornado’s favorite game to play? Twister.
    • Why did Mickey Mouse go to space? To see Pluto!
    • Why don’t aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
    • How do scientists freshen their breath? With experi-mints.
    • What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-o acid.
    • What does a skeleton say before he eats? “Bone appetite!”
    • Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? He didn’t have the guts!
    • Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide!
    • What is an astronaut’s favorite key on the keyboard? The space bar.
    • How did the astronaut serve dinner in outer space? On flying saucers!
    • What did the limestone say to the geologist? “Don’t take me for granite!”
    • What did the science book say to the math book? “You’ve got problems.”
    • Why did the scientist take out his doorbell? He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
    • What was the first animal to go into space? The cow that jumped over the moon!
    • How do we know that Saturn was married more than once? Because she has a lot of rings!
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Section 2 of 13:

Science Jokes for Teachers & Students

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  1. Brighten up the classroom with these school-friendly science jokes. Telling a joke can help you create a positive learning environment and leave your students in stitches. Get creative to “make [science] really engaging and powerful for students,” says elementary school teacher Courtney Copriviza. [3] Here are some awesome examples:
    • Know any good chemistry jokes? NaBrO.
    • What do you call a rude hydrocarbon? Crude oil.
    • How often should you tell a chemistry joke? Periodically.
    • What fruit contains barium and double sodium? BaNaNa.
    • Why is electricity the perfect student? It conducts itself well.
    • What do you call an educated cylinder? A graduated cylinder.
    • Why are there so many bad science jokes? All the good ones argon.
    • Why did the two red blood cells break up? Their romance was all in vein.
    • What do you call two diamonds going for a meal together? Carbon dating.
    • Why did the bacteria fail their math test? They didn't know how to multiply.
    • What did the microbiology student get for being late to class? A tardigrade.
    • Why did the sand do so badly in geology? It’s grades were below sea level.
    • Why didn’t the sun go to college? Because it already had a million degrees.
    • If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
    • How did the student feel when they learned about electricity? Totally shocked.
    • Why did the chemist read the book on helium so fast? He couldn’t put it down.
    • What do you call it when your science teacher lowers your grade? Bio-degraded.
    • Why was the science teacher hesitant to give a lecture on mitosis? It's a divisive issue.
    • What did the quantum physicist say to the stressed-out student? “Don’t worry, it’s all relative.”
    • What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? “You may have graduated, but I have more degrees.”
Section 3 of 13:

Science Jokes for Adults

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  1. Tons of science terms and puns can be turned into playful jokes for adults. Here are some clever examples that mention alcohol, dating, and other mature themes: [4]
    • Elements of St. Patrick’s Day: BeEr.
    • According to chemistry, WINe is a solution.
    • What was the charge when NaCl was arrested? A salt.
    • How do you know that atoms are Catholic? They have mass.
    • Why did the neutron go to therapy? It was having a meltdown.
    • Why was the molecule so calm? It was in a stable relationship.
    • Why did the cloud date the fog? Because he was so down to earth.
    • How do chemists spice things up? They do it periodically on the table.
    • Anyone who says alcohol is not a solution knows nothing about chemistry.
    • Why did the physicist break up with the biologist? There was no chemistry.
    • The past, the present, and the future all walk into a bar at the same time. It was tense…
    • Why did the scientist break up with their telescope? They just couldn’t see eye to eye.
    • What is the quickest way to determine the sex of a chromosome? Pull down its genes.
    • What do you call it when a geologist has to work on a Friday night? Gin and Tectonics.
    • What did the guy say when his wife threw sodium and chloride at him? “That's a(s)-salt!”
    • Why did the engineer break up with the physicist? Because she had too much potential energy!
    • A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the barman gives it to him, he asks, “How much?” The barman replies, “For you, no charge.”
    • An infectious disease walks into a bar. The barman says, “We don’t serve your type here.” The disease replies, “Well, you’re not a very good host.”
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Section 4 of 13:

Chemistry Jokes

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  1. Drop a chemistry joke to have everyone exploding with laughter. The periodic table is the perfect starting place to craft a couple of jokes, but if you’re not on top of your game, it’s FINe! Here are some hilarious chemistry jokes to help you strike Au (gold): [5]
    • Hey, want to hear a joke about sodium? Na.
    • What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium.
    • What do chemists yell on a golf course? “FORE-mula!”
    • Where do chemists exercise? In the atomic weight room.
    • What do you call an annoying chemist? A pain in the flask.
    • What do you call a stern chemistry teacher? A flask master.
    • What type of science do crew teams study? Oar-ganic chemistry.
    • Why is the pH of YouTube very stable? Because it constantly buffers.
    • Why do chemists love nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates.
    • Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
    • Did you know that oxygen went on a date with potassium? Yeah, it went OK.
    • What element was named after a beloved baseball catcher? Yogi Berra-llium.
    • Why did the acidic water get a gym membership? It wanted to be a buffer solution.
    • Why did the hipster chemist burn his hand? He touched the beaker before it was cool.
    • What do you get when you cross an old-school punk rocker with a chemist? Atom Ant.
    • What do you call a vampire that increases the speed of chemical reactions? A bat-alyst.
    • What did the scientist say to the chemist whose lab smelled like eggs? “Sorry for your suffering.”
    • How do you tell if someone is a chemist or a plumber? See how they pronounce unionized.
    • What do you get when you cross a stable element with a bookstore chain? Barnes and Noble Gas.
    • What did their parents say when they heard that oxygen and magnesium were going to get married? “OMg!”
    • What do you get when cross King Arthur’s court with the study of substances and their properties? Chemalot.
    • What do you get when you cross a nutrient that helps the immune system with an animated scare factory? Monsters, Zinc.
Section 5 of 13:

Physics Jokes

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  1. From thermodynamics to Newton’s laws of motion, physics is packed with interesting topics you can turn into a joke. Here are some electric options that every science lover will appreciate: [6]
    • What’s a physicist’s favorite chips? Fission chips!
    • How do photons get around? They take the light rail.
    • Who was the first electricity detective? Sherlock Ohms.
    • How does a German physicist drink beer? With en Stein.
    • What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics? “Oops.”
    • What do you call the ruler of active galactic nuclei? A qua-czar.
    • What’s a physicist’s favorite amusement park ride? The Gravitron.
    • What do you call a physics teacher’s old college? His alma matter.
    • What do you call a sermon and prayer service for physicists? An atomic mass.
    • What do you call someone who protects a light-dispersing object? A prism guard.
    • What scientific model is used to explain the origin of vampires? The Big Fang Theory.
    • Did you hear about the corn field discovered in a distant galaxy? It was light ears away.
    • Why is the dieting advice to “eat light” so dangerous? That’s how you become a black hole.
    • Why is it so hard to get up in the morning? Newton’s First Law: A body at rest will remain at rest.
    • What device used to observe distant objects can zoom in on a beard? The Stubble telescope.
    • What streaming service features programs about metals that attract other metals? Magnetflix.
    • What do you get when you cross a hip-hop artist with the theory of relativity? E = MC Hammer Squared.
    • What do you get when you cross a fundamental particle of matter with a boat filled with animals? Noah’s quark.
    • What do you get when you cross a set of writing rules with a form of electromagnetic radiation? Grammar rays.
    • Did you hear about the horrible accident where the physicist accidentally chilled himself to absolute zero? He's 0K now.
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Section 6 of 13:

Biology Jokes

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  1. Try any of these gene-uinely hilarious biology jokes. The mitochondria might be the powerhouse of the cell, but the following jokes will have every cell in your body bursting with laughter! Here are the best jokes about photosynthesis, cell division, ecology, and more: [7]
    • What’s a biologist’s favorite instrument? A cell-o.
    • How do prisons clone inmates? One cell at a time.
    • What did the biologist wear to impress his date? Designer genes.
    • What is the most common blood group for crew teams? Type row.
    • What state of equilibrium did Juliet’s lover achieve? Romeo-stasis.
    • What do you call it when a biologist takes a photo of himself? A cell-fie.
    • What do you call an accountant for the biology department? A buy-ologist.
    • What did Dorothy call the water-absorption expert? The Wizard of Ozmosis.
    • What did one DNA say to the other DNA? “Do these genes make me look fat?”
    • What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome? Pull down its genes.
    • Why did the woman break up with her biologist boyfriend? She thought he was cell-fish.
    • What did one cell tell his sister cell when she stepped on his toe? “Ouch! That’s mitosis.”
    • Did you hear about the flu that spread through a superhero convention? It was Comic Con-tagious.
    • What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
    • What warning did Julius Caesar receive as he looked through a microscope? “Beware the Slides of March.”
    • Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra? Because it has dorsal and ventral horns.
    • What did the dog say to his owner? “My favourite frequency is 50,000 hertz but you’ve probably never heard of that.”
    • What do you get when you cross a chemical process in plants with the end of a horse race? A photo-synthesis finish!
    • How many biologists does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental impact statement.
    • Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who visited 30 different countries and spoke 6 languages? He was a man of many cultures.
Section 7 of 13:

Geology Jokes

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  1. Dig up a rockin’ geology joke to get the giggles going. We’re totally about to rock your world with the geology jokes below. They’re bould , rock -solid, and sure to have everyone rolling with laughter: [8]
    • What’s a geologist’s favorite type of music? Rock.
    • What do you call a fake Irish stone? A sham rock!
    • Where do geologists like to relax? In a rocking chair.
    • Why wasn’t the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite!
    • Why are mountains so funny? Because they’re hill areas.
    • Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was on shale!
    • What’s a geologist’s favorite ice cream flavor? Rock erode.
    • Why was the geologist so calm? She was very down to earth.
    • What does a rock want to be when it grows up? A little boulder.
    • When was the best time to be a geologist? During the Stone Age.
    • What did the earthquake say to the volcano? “You’re a hot mess!”
    • Why are some rocks so easygoing? Because they're sedimentary.
    • Why don’t geologists like scary movies? Because they’re petrified!
    • What do you call someone who investigates molten rocks? Magma, PI.
    • Did you hear about the insecure physicist? She was fission for compliments.
    • What did one tectonic plate say when he bumped into the other? “Sorry! My fault.”
    • What do you call the preserved remains of a caveman cleaning his teeth? A flossil.
    • Why can you always trust a geologist to have rocks? They can always dig something up!
    • Ever heard of Neil Diamond? He was originally called Neil Coal before the pressure got to him.
    • How do geologists ask each other out? “Hey, are you a carbon sample? Because I'd love to date you!”
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Section 8 of 13:

Astronomy Jokes

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  1. Aliens, planets, the moon, and the stars… There are so many awesome topics in astronomy that make the perfect punchline! Here’s a whole constellation of space jokes to rock your world: [9]
    • What’s a specimen? An Italian astronaut!
    • What kind of stars wear sunglasses? Movie stars.
    • Do you like Orion’s belt? Yeah, I give it three stars.
    • What do you call a crazy spaceman? An astro-nut.
    • What’s an astronaut’s favorite beverage? Gravi-tea.
    • How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rocket!
    • Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is like? No sun.
    • What does a star win in a competition? A constellation prize.
    • How does Jupiter hold up his trousers? With an asteroid belt.
    • Why did the star get arrested? Because it was a shooting star.
    • Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock? It’s a little meteor.
    • Where do astronauts leave their spaceships? At parking meteors.
    • How do you deal with a sad astronaut? Just give them some space.
    • How do astronauts organize a successful surprise party? They planet.
    • What’s a light-year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
    • What did the asteroid say when the reporter asked him a question? “No comet.”
    • What do the newspapers do when an astronaut dies? They publish an orbituary.
    • How do you know when the moon is going broke? When it’s down to its last quarter.
    • What happened to the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit!
    • How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry? He Apollo-gises.
    • Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system? They looked at the reviews and we only have one star.
    • Did you hear about the restaurant on the Moon? The food was out of this world, but there was no atmosphere.
Section 9 of 13:

Short Science Jokes

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  1. Share a short and silly joke to make people smile. Searching for a simple science joke that still packs a punch? Here are some quick and effective options to score some easy laughs: [10]
    • Who was the smartest pig? Ein-swine.
    • Do you want to hear a potassium joke? K!
    • What do rich clouds do? They make it rain.
    • What does a subatomic duck say? “Quark.”
    • What do astronauts like to read? Comet books!
    • Which element is the most boastful? Bragnesium.
    • How is the moon like a dollar? It has four quarters.
    • What do you call the study of humor? Mirth science.
    • What kind of music do planets dance to? Nep-tunes!
    • Why can’t you trust an atom’s story? It’s full of half lives.
    • Why do plants hate algebra? It gives them square roots.
    • What type of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms? “2 Na.”
    • What kind of magnetic imaging do pirates use? M-aargh-I!
    • Where did the chemist have his lunch? On a periodic table.
    • What kind of dogs do chemists own? Laboratory Retrievers.
    • Why can you never trust an atom? They make up everything.
    • What kind of tree can be placed into your hand? A palm tree.
    • Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar!
    • What does a magician shout during an experiment? “Labracadabra!”
    • Why do researchers look forward to Fridays? They can wear genes to work.
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Section 10 of 13:

Corny Science Jokes

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  1. If there’s an opportunity to squeeze some science-related humor in your conversation, take it! Here are the corniest science jokes to crack up kids and adults: [11]
    • What’s a pirate’s favorite element? Aaaaargon.
    • Why don’t ants get sick? They have little anty bodies.
    • What did the femur say to the patella? “I knee’d you!”
    • Do you have 11 protons? Because you are sodium cute.
    • What did the volcano say to his beautiful wife? “I lava you.”
    • Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re CuTe.
    • What runs faster, cold or hot? Hot, because you can catch a cold.
    • What does blood say when it's trying to be optimistic? “B Positive.”
    • Which type of books are the hardest to get through? Friction books.
    • Have you heard the joke about cobalt, radon, and yttrium? It’s CoRnY.
    • What do you call a bunch of iron atoms at a carnival? A ferrous wheel.
    • Why was Einstein’s turkey underseasoned? Because thyme is relative.
    • What do solids, liquids and gases all have in common? They all matter!
    • What do you get when you cross a scientist with a baker? Mixed results.
    • Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field!
    • Why can't you play hide-and-seek with a mountain? Because they always peak.
    • What did the proton say to the electron to start a fight? “I’m sick of your negativity.”
    • What do protons and life coaches have in common? They know how to stay positive.
    • Which president was given money to study scientific data? Ulysses S. Research Grant.
    • What did the helpless T cell say when facing the infection? “Is there antibody out there?”
    • Where do bad rainbows go? To prism… It’s a light sentence and gives them time to reflect.
    • Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak? Because a burger is in its ground state.
Section 11 of 13:

Science Puns & One-Liners

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  1. Tell a silly science pun or one-liner to lighten the mood. The next time you’re working in the lab, classroom, or just talking to a science-lover, slip one of these cheesy lines into the conversation. They’re sure to brighten their day and get the best reaction: [12]
    • R.I.P. boiling water. You will be mist.
    • Do I have to cell out everything for you?
    • I hit my wrist at a high frequency. It hertz.
    • I might be a chemist, but I’d never Bohr you.
    • The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
    • Protons, electrons and neutrons have mass appeal.
    • Chemistry is like cooking… just don’t lick the spoon!
    • I fell asleep in chemistry class because it was boron.
    • I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
    • If it stinks, it’s chemistry. If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.
    • Organic chemistry is hard. It creates alkynes of problems.
    • Two blood cells met and fell in love. Alas, it was all in vein.
    • You know what traveling physicists say: “When in Ohm …”
    • Outlaws who study biology and chemistry have duel majors.
    • Oh chemis-tree, o-chemis-tree, how lovely are thy branches.
    • If a plant is sad, do the other plants photosympathize with it?
    • No matter how popular antibiotics become, they’ll never go viral!
    • They call me DJ enzyme… because I’m always breaking it down.
    • If you’re not part of the solution, then you’re part of the precipitate.
    • I complained about the coffee at Starbucks and got a chain reaction.
    • Meteorologists have weighed rainbows and found out… they’re pretty light.
    • On the first day of Christmas, my chemist gave to me… a partridge in a petri.
    • I have a new theory on inertia, but it doesn't seem to be gaining momentum…
    • I read about the invention of the lightbulb in the New England Journal of Edison.
    • You matter… unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light. Then you energy.
    • Biology: The only science where multiplication and division mean the same thing.
    • There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don’t.
    • Since light travels faster than sound, people may appear bright until you hear them speak.
    • Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gasses here!” Argon doesn’t react.
    • A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if they can help with the luggage. The photon replies, “I don’t have any, I’m traveling light.”
    • The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full—half with liquid and half with air.
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Section 12 of 13:

Science Fun Facts

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  1. Whether you want to sharpen your trivia skills, show off your smarts, or simply pass the time, learning science facts is the perfect way to do so. Here are some amazing things you’ve probably never heard before: [13]
    • You can start a fire with ice.
    • Comets smell like rotten eggs.
    • Astronauts can’t burp in space.
    • All humans share 99% of our DNA.
    • Your brain is constantly eating itself.
    • 1.3 million Earths can fit inside the sun.
    • Feet can produce a pint of sweat a day.
    • The average human is about 56% bacteria.
    • The North Pole has one sunrise each year.
    • Lava can flow as fast as a Greyhound runs.
    • On Saturn and Jupiter, it can rain diamonds.
    • Peanut butter can be converted into diamonds.
    • The sky has more stars than a beach has sand.
    • If put in a big enough bathtub, Saturn would float.
    • Our solar system has a wall called the heliopause.
    • A day on Venus lasts longer than a year on Venus.
    • Rainforests are home to over half of Earth’s animals.
    • Animals can experience time differently from humans.
    • It takes the International Space Station 92 minutes to orbit Earth.
    • At a standstill, you’re traveling at 2.7 million MPH through the universe.
    • At any given moment, there are 1,800 thunderstorms happening on Earth.
    • You are always looking at your nose, but your brain just chooses to ignore it.
    • Out of around 320 million cubic miles of water on Earth, only 1% is drinkable.
    • A single bolt of lightning could contain enough energy to cook 20,000 pieces of toast.
    • All the world’s bacteria stacked on top of each other would stretch for 10 billion light years.
Section 13 of 13:

More Funny Jokes

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  1. Check out these other funny, cheesy, and pun-filled jokes. Want to keep the fun going? Here are some other joke articles to make your friends and family laugh out loud:
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.idahoednews.org/voices/a-dads-diary/no-kidding-turns-out-dad-jokes-are-good-for-us/
      2. ↑ https://www.beano.com/jokes/science/scientist-jokes
      3. ↑ Courtney Copriviza. Elementary School Teacher. Expert Interview
      4. ↑ https://parade.com/1193513/marynliles/science-jokes/
      5. ↑ http://www.jupiterscientific.org/sciinfo/jokes/chemistryjokes.html
      6. ↑ http://www.jupiterscientific.org/sciinfo/jokes/physicsjokes.html
      7. ↑ http://www.jupiterscientific.org/sciinfo/jokes/biologyjokes.html
      8. ↑ https://www.beano.com/jokes/science/geology-jokes
      9. ↑ http://www.jupiterscientific.org/sciinfo/jokes/astronomyjokes.html
      1. ↑ https://parade.com/1193513/marynliles/science-jokes/
      2. ↑ https://parade.com/1193513/marynliles/science-jokes/
      3. ↑ https://parade.com/1193513/marynliles/science-jokes/
      4. ↑ https://www.perotmuseum.org/amazeyourbrain?fact=venus-day

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