Communicate your needs Be clear about what you need and want in a romantic relationship. While they may know a lot about you as a friend, don’t assume that they know how you operate as a romantic partner. Examples: “I believe in monogamy and I can’t tolerate cheating in a romantic relationship.” “I believe in open communication and have no tolerance for lying or half-truths.” “I need a romantic partner who understands that I need time alone and with my friends.” Ask about their wants and needs Avoid trying to guess their needs and ask them clearly so both of you are on the same page with expectations and boundaries. Examples: “What is your biggest need or want in a romantic relationship?” “You’ve mentioned in the past that you do not want anything even resembling a co-dependent relationship, so what are your needs regarding time together and apart?” “What are your needs when it comes to intimacy?” Establish a pace If you’ve been friends for a while, it may be best to avoid an intensely physical intimacy from the get-go. Share what you think is a comfortable pace for your relationship and ask about their ideal comfort pace. Examples: “I’m not comfortable jumping right into being physically intimate right now. What about you?” “How much time do you think couples should be together before getting intimate?” “As much as I want to kiss you, I’d love to just hold your hand if that’s what you’re comfortable with?” Give each other space Having been best friends, you’ve probably spent lots of time together with breaks between hanging out. The same principles apply to romantic partners to ensure that you don’t get sick of eachother. Share your needs regarding independence and check in with them about theirs. Examples: “I feel like I need some alone time tonight. See you tomorrow or the next day though?” “I know you’re super independent, so if you feel like you need some time to hang with friends I understand.” “I need at least one day of week of ‘me’ time. What are your needs when it comes to ‘you’ time?” Be consistent You and your friend may already have a status-quo way of relating to each other, but now that you’re partners, be consistent with your affection and romantic gestures. Flip-flopping between casual-friendly demeanor and super-romantic gestures may cause confusion about your feelings for them. Examples: ✗ Treating them as a friend one day and a romantic partner the next * Calling them friendly pet names (e.g., buddy, dude, pal) * Surprising them with a romantic gesture once a week and treating them as a friend between those times * Too many casual “hangouts” at home in lieu of regular dates ✓ Offering regular affection and steady romantic gestures * Using appropriate pet names regularly (e.g., sweetheart, beautiful, honey) * Giving small gifts (like flowers) or doing kind favors for them every so often * Holding their hand every day * Hugging or kissing them regularly (when appropriate and with consent)