My mother doesn’t think I’m trans

06/03/25 6:19pm

I told my mom I’m trans a few days ago and she said she doesn’t think I’m trans and she even found an article about how autistic people may struggle with their gender identity. She doesn’t even know what’s going on in my mind yet she acts like she does. What do I do?

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wikiHow Editorial Team

06/03/25 6:20pm

We're sorry to hear that your mom responded this way. Try sitting down and talking to her again so you can explain what's going on in your mind, if you think that would help. Remember, just because she doesn't think you're trans doesn't mean that you aren't. Hopefully, she'll come to accept your identify, but she may need time to process or come to terms with it. In the meantime, it can be really helpful to build a support network of friends and allies who you can lean on. If you've come out to any other friends or family members, talk to them about what's going on, or join an LGBTQ+ support group online.

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Kateri Berasi, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

06/03/25 6:53pm

It sounds like your mom isn’t being as accepting or affirming of your trans identity as you’d hoped. Coming out is a process, and sometimes other peoples’ understanding of your coming out is going to be a process as well. Remember, there’s nothing at all wrong with you—it’s more about her need to turn her mind toward acceptance and openness.

To help this process along, try pointing her to all the resources that you can find. For example, organizations like GLAAD, PFLAG, and a variety of others will have reading materials that are meant to help the families and friends of LGBTQ people learn how to best support them. However, it’s also important to remember that it may take some time for your mom to grow and evolve, but this doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you—you’re perfect the way you are.

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