Expert-Backed Ways to Deal with Snobby People

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Plus, learn what makes people act like snobs
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A snob is a person who feels and acts superior to others. Chances are, you’ve encountered snobby people in your life. If you have to deal with them often, it can be difficult. Keep reading for our simple and straightforward ways to deal with a snob while remaining positive. With the help of clinical psychologists, a wellness coach, and an empowerment coach, we’ll show you how to rise above any situation. Plus, learn what causes snobby behavior , and how to avoid acting snobbish in return.

Best Ways to Deal With a Snob

Licensed clinical psychologist Sarah Schewitz, PsyD says self-worth isn’t determined by others liking you. When handling a snob, try to avoid overreacting—don’t let them make you feel inferior. Instead, try to prove their perceptions of you wrong. Adjust your behavior by focusing on the positive and showing empathy.

Section 1 of 3:

How to Handle Snobby People Effectively

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  1. When someone is a snob, they work hard to make the people around them feel inferior or less important than them. When dealing with a condescending person , don’t let them make you feel like less of a person than you are; then, their snobbish behavior won’t have any effect on you. [1]
    • Snobs will often use material things or social status as a means of setting themselves above you. If you look at yourself as an equal to the snob, and don’t let their bragging or snobbish behavior make you feel small, they might recognize this and move on to someone else, or lessen the behavior.
    • You can’t control other people's reactions or behaviors, but you can have a say about how you react and behave. According to clinical psychologist Kim Chronister, PsyD, "It’s important to recognize that their behavior is only a reflection of them, not how you are moving in the world. Control how the world perceives you by not being reactive and remaining calm and collected at all times." [2]

    Meet the wikiHow Experts

    Sarah Schewitz, PsyD , is a licensed clinical psychologist who helps clients improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.

    Alyssa Chang is a wellness coach who works with clients on improving their connections with their brain and body.

    Nicolette Tura, MA , is an empowerment coach who helps high achievers discover their true potential and grow personally.

    Kim Chronister, PsyD , is a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in helping people struggling with relationship problems.

  2. Rather than instinctively acting rudely back to this person, or getting irritated around them, go out of your way to be polite to them instead. You may be dealing with friends who think they’re better than you . If so, try to smile and engage with them like you don’t think they are snobbish at all—this can make spending time with them easier to handle.
    • The saying “kill them with kindness” can apply when dealing with a snob or when dealing with a mean person . Someone might feel less inclined to be snobbish to you if all you are giving them is kindness and politeness.
    • Watch your body language. Even if you are trying to act polite to someone who dislikes you, your body language might give you away. Avoid rolling your eyes or looking irritated.
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  3. Sometimes, someone might act like a snob towards you because they believe certain stereotypes about you, including anything from your level of education to the neighborhood where you live. Of course, stereotypes are often untrue, so rather than getting mad, just prove the person wrong. Show them you are not what they believe you to be. [3]
    • For example, if someone is acting like a snob because they went to a university and you went to a community college, engage with them in an intelligent conversation, and show them that you are not less intelligent just because of where you went to school.
    • If you challenge the view someone has of you, they will be forced to reevaluate the ideas they have, along with the stereotypes they have already formed about you.
  4. You absolutely do not have to change who you are just because of one person’s bad behavior, but adjusting how you act in the short term might help make time with this person more bearable, for your own sake. For example, if this is a co-worker, try to moderate your behavior while you’re interacting with them at work. [4]
    • For instance, if this particular person seems to go out of their way to put you down, don’t allow them to do so. Avoid topics of conversation that may lead to them bragging or talking themselves up.
    • Another way to change your behavior is to first "allow yourself to react. Then, ask yourself, ‘Why does that person's opinion of me matter so much?’ Use your reaction to bring attention to something that needs to be addressed within yourself,” suggests empowerment coach Nicolette Tura, MA. [5]
  5. If you have to be around this person daily, give yourself some space when you need to. One way to cope with arrogant people is to excuse yourself politely and take some time for yourself; say you need to make a phone call, use the restroom, or step out for a moment.
    • If you avoid extra, unnecessary contact with this person, it might help make your unavoidable interactions with them seem less overwhelming.
  6. The things this snob might look down on you for are things that make you special. If a snob is making you feel inferior, remember that whatever it is that they are turning their nose up at is something that makes you interesting and different. [6]
    • Sometimes, feelings of envy can result in snobbery, so remind yourself that this person might just be jealous of certain qualities you have and feel the need to put you down to make themselves feel better.
    • Find the positive in whatever the snobbish person is putting you down about—if they’re bragging about their fancy material belongings, be grateful for the things you have, regardless of their social status.
    • Clinical psychologist Sirvart Mesrobian, PsyD, recommends "focusing on the positive in your life. It’s important not to minimize the positive, because fixating on the negative will create a low sense of self-esteem." [7]
  7. A snob is only using this behavior to protect him or herself from the insecurities within themselves. Wellness coach Alyssa Chang believes that “if we can come to every interaction, understanding that this person is doing the best they can do every single day (and this may be the best they can do), it provides more empathy and understanding.” [8] They could be putting others down because they’re having troubles of their own, so, rather than getting irritated, try to remain kind toward them.
    • You don’t have to be explicit with your empathy. Simply offering a kind smile and a nod when they start to speak to you in a snobbish way might turn them off to talking to you that way.
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Section 2 of 3:

Why are some people snobs?

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  1. If a person feels insecure about themselves, they might try to use snobbery to keep others at a distance and protect what may be a fragile ego from being harmed. [9]
    • "Remember that there may be an underlying reason why this person acts the way that they do. For instance, they may have experienced trauma at home, like witnessing violence, they may have older siblings who bully them, and they may be struggling with self-esteem issues or even mood instability, which can make a person agitated and impulsive,” according to Dr. Chronister. [10]
  2. The way people are raised has a profound effect on the way they interact with others once they’re adults. You likely learned behaviors growing up that you might not recognize, just like this person might not notice their own snobbery.
    • Don’t always assume someone is being a rude person or acting hurtfully to put you down. They might have learned these behaviors from such a young age that they don’t even realize they are doing it. It doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it could be a reason for it happening. When this is the case, Dr. Schewitz suggests “not taking it so personally." [11]
  3. Life coach Jennifer Clark believes it’s important to "understand when someone is acting out, that they're inherently flawed, and may feel threatened or insecure." [12] Depending on how they were raised, snobbery might be their defense mechanism against social groups that they haven’t had much exposure to. [13]
    • If someone was raised in a privileged environment, having to engage with people or activities they weren’t raised around could make them feel threatened, causing them to act out in a snobbish way.
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Section 3 of 3:

How to Avoid Acting Like a Snob

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  1. Purposefully talking up your belongings, accomplishments, family life, or any other aspect of your life to make someone else feel small is snobbish behavior—make sure you recognize this in yourself. [14]
    • If you do notice this kind of behavior, work to correct it. Don’t allow yourself to behave in a snobbish way, especially if this behavior in other people irritates or bothers you. Always treat others the way you would like them to treat you in return.
  2. “Reverse snobbery” is when you behave in a snobbish way in response to someone acting that way to you. For example, if you work a blue-collar job and you talk poorly about wealthy people in white-collar positions, that is reverse snobbery. [15]
    • Rather than responding to snobbery with more snobbery, just let it roll off your back. Accept that this other person is behaving in an undesirable way, and try not to let it get to you.
  3. If you find yourself jealous of someone else, you might feel the urge to be unnecessarily rude to them or to dislike them because of that envy or jealousy. Rather than falling into this kind of behavior, acknowledge that you are feeling envious, and try to improve upon it. [16]
    • Instead of feeling jealous of someone else’s material belongings or social status, be thankful for what you do have. Remember that you have personal value and worth outside of personal belongings or social status.
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Community Q&A

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  • Question
    What if we have a snob in our Girl Scout troop, and when we do ANY of these things, she is still rude and snobby?
    Community Answer
    Someone who is snobby is insecure inside and is trying to hide behind acting like they are better than others. If someone is rude and snobby, then the best bet is to avoid interacting with her. If she is a rude bully, then tell her that her behavior is unacceptable. You could also speak with your Girl Scout Troop leader and ask her to help with the girl's rudeness.
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    Not Helpful 8 Helpful 10
  • Question
    Everybody is a snob to me! My family, my friends, even people from the internet. When I say something, I only want an answer! What should I do? I'm always polite!
    Community Answer
    There's nothing you can do about people on the internet. Just ignore them if they're rude. As for your friends and family, try to have a calm and polite conversation with them about the way they're talking to you. Ask them to be more patient with you and answer your questions when you ask them. If your friends are always mistreating you, find better friends!
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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  • Question
    I've been dealing with a person who is very snobbish. Whenever I engage in a conversation one on one with him he's nice, but around other people he insults me and hangs me to dry for things I didn't do. What should I do?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Perhaps 'nice' is not enough? If he's only 'nice' in one-on-one interactions, that seems to be not worth the negativity you get from him in group settings. Even if he's the best friend in the world in private, such behavior in groups would be enough for me to forget about such a person, or at least drastically reduce my personal interactions. My recommendation? Let the friendship fade out, and publicly call him out every time he hangs you out to dry.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://epaprague.com/en/how-to-survive-an-encounter-with-a-snob-and-why-etiquette-is-not-just-for-snobs/
      2. ↑ Kim Chronister, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview
      3. ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/16135/1/Dealing-With-Snobbishness.html
      4. ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/16135/1/Dealing-With-Snobbishness.html
      5. ↑ Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview
      6. ↑ https://epaprague.com/en/how-to-survive-an-encounter-with-a-snob-and-why-etiquette-is-not-just-for-snobs/
      7. ↑ Sirvart Mesrobian, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview
      8. ↑ Alyssa Chang. Wellness Coach. Expert Interview
      9. ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/16135/1/Dealing-With-Snobbishness.html
      1. ↑ Kim Chronister, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview
      2. ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Psychologist. Expert Interview
      3. ↑ Jennifer Clark. Life Coach. Expert Interview
      4. ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/16135/1/Dealing-With-Snobbishness.html
      5. ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/16135/1/Dealing-With-Snobbishness.html
      6. ↑ https://epaprague.com/en/how-to-survive-an-encounter-with-a-snob-and-why-etiquette-is-not-just-for-snobs/
      7. ↑ http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/16135/1/Dealing-With-Snobbishness.html

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      Dealing with a snobbish person isn’t very fun, but with a bit of patience, you can get through it. The easiest way to deal with a snob is to ignore their behavior. Snobs often use material things or social status to make people feel inferior, but these things don’t really matter, so don’t let what they say get to you! If you can’t help proving them wrong, try challenging them. For instance, if they’re acting like a snob because they went to college and you didn’t, engage in an intelligent conversation to prove your wits. Snobs can be hard to handle, so take breaks if you need them. Step away from the situation or make an excuse to go home early. To learn how to prevent a snob from rubbing off on you, read on!

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