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How to know if someone is being ironic or serious when they type โ€œKMSโ€
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If your friends have a unique sense of humor, they might toss the phrase โ€œKMSโ€ around. Youโ€™ll probably see it pop up on Snapchat, TikTok, Instagram, or WhatsApp when teens get really dramatic and say theyโ€™re fed up with life. This article will discuss the different reasons the people you talk to use โ€œKMSโ€ and share whether itโ€™s a joke or a more serious matter. Read on so you can be there for the people you care about and decode what theyโ€™re saying when they include a โ€œKMSโ€ in their message.

If you or someone you know is having any suicidal thoughts, please seek immediate support and call emergency services or a crisis hotline. [1]

KMS Meaning

KMS usually stands for "kill myself," and is typically used in a joking or sarcastic context. This acronym is typically seen over text or on social media platforms like WhatsApp, Snapchat, or Twitter.

Section 1 of 4:

What does KMS mean?

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  1. โ€œKMSโ€ surfaced on Twitter as early as 2009, probably to capture a lot of emotionsโ€”like frustration or irritationโ€”in 140 characters or less. [2] Since then, โ€œKMSโ€ has now been adopted by teens as a silly or sarcastic way to be over-the-top. Typically, teens will use private platforms, like Snapchat, WhatsApp, or iMessage, to say โ€œKMSโ€ because their inner circle finds it funny.
    • Some people might only say โ€œKMSโ€ to a very specific group of friends. For example, a girl might only message โ€œKMSโ€ to other teen girls that sheโ€™s known for a long time.
    • If your friend finds a situation a little unlucky or inconvenient, theyโ€™ll say โ€œKMSโ€ to let off some steam.
    • Your friend will probably talk about an everyday situation that annoys them a little but that they'll forget later.
    • For example, they may say, "I can't believe 7/11 is out of Hot Cheetos. โŒ ๐Ÿ”ฅ KMS."
    • If theyโ€™ve had a tiring day, they might comment, โ€œAm I ever going to get sleep?! ๐Ÿ˜– KMS.โ€
    • If theyโ€™re feeling goofy, they may say something like, โ€œYou donโ€™t follow me on IG?! KMS! ๐Ÿ˜œโ€
  2. Typically, teenagers use this phrase when theyโ€™re incredibly bored and feel that time isnโ€™t going by quickly enough. Maybe theyโ€™re watching a show thatโ€™s really dragging or their teacher seems to be talking too long. If this is the case, people might say โ€œKMSโ€ to say theyโ€™re restless and a bit annoyed.
    • When your friend uses โ€œKMSโ€ to say โ€œkill me slowly,โ€ theyโ€™ll usually use a dry, sarcastic tone in their texts and posts.
    • For example, they may tell you, โ€œWhen are the leads in this show going to kiss already? Itโ€™s taking forever. KMS.โ€
    • If theyโ€™re frustrated with classes, they may say something like, โ€œHow much longer is this semester going to be? It feels like an eternity. KMS.โ€
    • If theyโ€™re in a sillier mood, they might make a comment like, โ€œSo whoโ€™s your crush?! Iโ€™ve waited all day for your text. KMS.โ€
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  3. Your friend or someone you know may say โ€œKMSโ€ as a call for help. When they use shorthand for โ€œkill myself,โ€ they donโ€™t mean to be funny or they use jokes to cope with their suicidal ideations. In these situations, itโ€™s important to intervene and support this personโ€™s mental health. [3]
    • This individual might say "KMS" after describing their emotional pain and bring up crises that negatively affect them and impact their psychological well being.
    • For example, the tone of their text will sound extremely sad. They might make a comment like, โ€œI havenโ€™t made any new friends since Iโ€™ve moved here. I feel so isolated. KMS.โ€
    • They may also talk about ways to hurt themselves or say that they don't find meaning in life.
    • An individual who has self-harmed may say something like, โ€œLife feels so empty. Seriously. KMS.โ€
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Section 2 of 4:

How do I know if KMS is a joke?

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  1. [4] Their day had one small hiccup and wasnโ€™t absolutely perfect, so now, they want to poke fun at that little annoyance. Theyโ€™re probably hoping youโ€™ll play along and tease them a little bit for being so dramatic.
    • โ€œI never asked the cute guy I met overseas for his number! KMS. ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ˜ญโ€
    • โ€œIโ€™m old enough to pay taxes now! ๐Ÿ’ธ KMS.โ€
    • โ€œMy prom dress came today, but itโ€™s the totally wrong color. KMS. ๐Ÿ˜ก ๐Ÿ“ฆโ€
  2. They have strong opinions and they want you to know where they draw the line. โ€œKMSโ€ shows their level of disapproval so you can sympathize or rant with them.
    • โ€œMy aunt convinced my mom that I should do chores. ๐Ÿงน KMS.โ€
    • โ€œKMS. I hate the actor they cast for my fave superhero. ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿฝโ€
    • โ€œThis coke is so flat. ๐Ÿคข KMS. I hate it.โ€
  3. Theyโ€™ve hit a challenge or some trouble, so they use โ€œKMSโ€ as an opportunity to complain about their life. They probably just want some reassurance that their problem will blow over soon.
    • โ€œWow. Iโ€™m โ€˜awesomeโ€™ at this game. ๐Ÿ™„ KMS.โ€
    • โ€œThis assignment is so easy that Iโ€™m still up at 1 AM working on it. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ KMS.โ€
    • โ€œMy little brother told my parents I was out past curfew. How fun! ๐ŸŽ‰ KMS.โ€
  4. While life is generally going pretty well for them, theyโ€™ve had a string of bad luck or dealt with one incredibly unfortunate event. Reassure them that youโ€™re around to talk and offer them some sympathy to cheer them up.
    • โ€œI totally messed up my 360 in front of the whole skate park. ๐Ÿ›น๐Ÿ’ฅ KMS.โ€
    • โ€œI had so many quizzes today that I canโ€™t think straight. ๐Ÿ“š ๐Ÿ˜ตโ€๐Ÿ’ซ KMS.โ€
    • โ€œBurned a whole batch of brownies for my bfโ€™s birthday. ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿš’ KMS.โ€
  5. They feel like theyโ€™ve had to wait a long time or that nothing interesting is happening right now. Theyโ€™re also counting down the minutes until they can have fun again.
    • โ€œMy mom dragged me to my sisterโ€™s recital. Itโ€™s three hours long. ๐Ÿ˜ฃ KMS.โ€
    • โ€œI have to watch three seasons of this show until it picks up, KMS. ๐Ÿ™„โ€
    • โ€œThree whole months until I graduate. โณ KMSโ€ฆโ€
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Section 3 of 4:

How do I reply to KMS?

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  1. Tell them if theyโ€™re being really dramatic or extremely opinionated. If theyโ€™re frustrated by an annoying situation, then playfully remind them to cool down and take a break. Try to find the humor in a bad day together and then say the next one will be brighter. Your great attitude will make them want to say โ€œLOLโ€ instead of โ€œKMS.โ€
    • โ€œYou are such a drama king! ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿ‘‘โ€
    • โ€œTell me what you really think, though! ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜โ€
    • โ€œHey, you donโ€™t need to be good at everything! Chill. ๐ŸงŠโ€
    • โ€œTomorrow will be better! โ˜€๏ธโ€
    • โ€œGood things come to those who wait! ๐Ÿ˜‰โ€
Section 4 of 4:

What are signs that โ€œKMSโ€ refers to self-harm or suicide?

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  1. If they have discussed suicidal attempts or ideations in the past, then they are at risk and โ€œKMSโ€ indicates that they may still fixate on suicide-related thoughts. Studies also suggest that people who suffer from suicidal ideation are more likely to make jokes about killing themselvesโ€”their humor is a cause for concern because it might be a way to express their struggles with mental health. [5] Consider these warning signs if they say โ€œKMSโ€: [6]
    • Theyโ€™ve opened up about a condition such as depression or anxiety.
    • Theyโ€™ve shared that they are in extreme psychological or physical pain.
    • Theyโ€™ve provided details about how they would complete suicide.
    • They know someone who has attempted or completed suicide.
    • Their family has a history of suicide.
    • They have been neglected or abused at home or at school.
    • They worry theyโ€™re a โ€œburdenโ€ or have โ€œno reasonโ€ to live.
  2. Even if this is the first time that youโ€™ve heard them say โ€œKMSโ€ and follow it up with graphic details about hurting themself, one case is enough to be alarming. While others who say โ€œKMSโ€ have a light-hearted tone, a person who considers self-harm will focus on how they can inflict real damage upon themself. Watch for these clues that they are a danger to themself and need intervention: [7]
    • Theyโ€™ve mentioned cutting, burning, or hitting themself.
    • They say they donโ€™t have the energy for normal routines, like showering.
    • They discuss starving themself or reveal they suffer from an eating disorder.
    • They say they abuse substances like alcohol or drugs.
    • They talk about scars or wounds on their body.
  3. Tell any adults you trustโ€”like their parents or a school counselorโ€”that theyโ€™ve discussed either suicide or self-harm. Since the information is sensitive, privately share any details that concern you. Then, express that you believe your friend needs additional care, like therapy. Ask adults to intervene right away if your friend says they have a plan for how theyโ€™ll harm themselfโ€”this is an emergency situation. [8]
    • Itโ€™s okay and actually necessary to โ€œtell onโ€ your friend if theyโ€™re at riskโ€”when you share any chats that worry you, you can save their life.
    • Share a local suicide hotline with your friend. Encourage them to call and open up about their struggles with a trained crisis counselor.
    • Remain in touch with your friend and their support figures. If your friend keeps making comments that worry you, tell trusted adults right away.
    • If you believe your friend is in danger, call emergency services so crisis professionals can respond. Then, contact your friendโ€™s parents so your friend is not left alone.
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      Warnings

      • If your friend says they plan to complete or "commit" suicide, stop and get help by calling emergency services such as 911 or 999. If they talk about self harm, ask them to call a suicide hotline:
        • In the US: call or text 988, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline [9]
        • In Canada: call or text 988, the Suicide Crisis Helpline [10]
        • In the UK: call 116 123, the Samaritans helpline [11] or 0800 068 41 41, the HOPELineUK [12]
        • In Australia, call 13 11 14. The suicide call back service is 1300 659 467, Beyond Blue Support Service [13]
        • In India, call 022-2552-1111 to reach the iCall helpline [14]
        • For an international directory of suicide hotlines, visit The International Association for Suicide Prevention here or Befrienders Worldwide here .
        • For LGBTQ+ youth struggling with suicidal ideation or self-harm, you can contact the Trevor Project by phone, text, or online chat.
        • If your friend struggles with their mental health, continue to talk to them and encourage them to seek professional help.
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