Increase contact slowly Don’t try to immediately jump back into the relationship you had before the estrangement. Both of you will need lots of time, as well as more conversations, to process your feelings. At first, meet your child alone in public places. “Would you like to meet up for lunch?” “It’s such a nice day today. I’m gonna take a walk in the park, care to join me?” Invite them to family events only if they seem ready and willing to attend. “What are your holiday plans? We’d love to have you over for Christmas, but I understand if you don’t want to.” “Brittany, would you like to join us for Thanksgiving?” Sorry Dad, not sure if I’m ready for that step. “That’s okay, no hard feelings. Just take your time.” Be persistent but not overbearing Keep trying to communicate, even if your child refuses to respond. Let them know you are thinking about them and want to talk. However, make sure you give them space and respect their need for distance. Example: Phone message “Hi Dave, it’s your dad. I just wanted to say hi and to wish you a Happy Birthday. You know I think about you all the time and really miss you. Any time you want to talk, I’ll be here for you. I love you.” Example: Card/Email Dear Georgia, I hope you and the kids are doing well. The weather up here is pretty nasty, so I’ve been spending most of my time inside. Aunt Phyllis and cousin Robert send their love, as do I. I’d love to see you guys, but I understand you’re not quite ready yet. Whenever you are, I would be more than happy to have you over. Love, Mom Let go if necessary Your child may still not want to have anything to do with you, even after you have apologized and acknowledged your wrongdoing. If this is the case, you must respect their wishes, for both theirs and your own sake. “Gina, I understand that you don’t want me to contact you anymore. I will respect your wishes, although if you change your mind and want to reconnect, I will be here for you.”