Take some time Regardless if the breakup was tumultuous or cordial, allow time for each of you to get over any heartbreak before trying to patch things up. Examples: * Avoid calling him to hang out or a little while * If he contacts you regularly, let him that it’s best if two of you to get some space * If you have mutual friends, keep it casual and cordial (i.e., don’t shut him, but don’t hang on his every word either) Correct bad habits Reflect on anything you might have done that led to your breakup and work on those things. Examples: * If you feel you broke up because you have a hot temper, work on healthy ways to deal with your anger (like meditation, breathing exercises, or therapy) * If you feel you broke up because you didn’t listen to what he had to say, work on your active listening skills with speaking with friends, family, and even strangers * If you feel you broke up because you were not emotionally stable, consider speaking to a professional counselor about any issues you may have been trying to cover up * Don’t change who you are—just work on anything you think you could improve upon Apologize If you hurt him, apologizing will go a long way in helping repair your relationship. Focus on specific actions or words that might have hurt him and be earnest in your apology. Examples: “I’m sorry for saying that you aren’t good enough for me. It was hurtful and untrue.” “I’m regret running away when you needed me most. It was hurtful and I’m deeply sorry I wasn’t there for you.” Prove your loyalty If you broke up because you were unfaithful, be open and honest about why and show him that you’ve learned from your mistake. Examples: “I felt that I wasn’t getting enough emotional support from our relationship and that by cheating, I could somehow get that. But now I see how wrong I was and how much it hurt you. I’m sorry.” “I cheated because I felt like it might teach you a lesson. But now I realize how immature that is and I’m sorry that I hurt you like that. I’ve learned how important it is to handle things like an adult.” Work on any time/distance problems If you two broke up due to time discrepancies or long-distance issues, express your commitment to working through these obstacles. Examples: “I know I wasn’t good at communicating regularly, but now I see how important it is that we schedule time each day to connect.” “I was feeling insecure about having a long distance relationship and wasn’t confident in my ability to make it work. But I now see that these are things we can overcome with a little effort, like making plans to have video chats more regularly.”