11 Easy & Sweet Ways to Romance The Special Man In Your Life

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Surprise your man with these expert-backed gestures
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Sometimes it can be hard to figure out how to step up the romance in a relationship, especially if you've been dating for a while. Whether you’re sharing words of love, showering him with kindness, or offering physical touch, there are so many ways to show the special man in your life how much you really care. Keep reading to learn how you and your beau can spice things up, including tips from psychology and relationship experts on ways to turn up the romance.

How to be Romantic to a Man

Be more romantic toward your man by complimenting him and reminding him how grateful you are for him. Write him love notes, give him gifts, and plan date nights for the two of you. Watch romantic movies and plan for the future. As long as he's comfortable with PDA, don't be afraid to show him affection in public.

1

Pay him thoughtful compliments.

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  1. If you're out and about and notice how handsome he looks in his new T-shirt, tell him. They may not always make it obvious, but guys like being flattered just as much as anyone else. Make sure he knows how sexy, kind, and funny you find him and give compliments that are genuine and specific to him. Marriage and family therapist Moshe Ratson encourages that you “share your mutual appreciation and compliment your partner regularly.” [1]
    • To make him feel super handsome, say something like, "I love it when you wear that shirt. You always look so hot in it." [2]
    • Be sure to compliment his personality, too. If he sends you a funny text, for example, text back, "You're the funniest guy in the world. This made my day!
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2

Tell him how grateful you are for him.

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  1. Tell him how happy you are to have him in your life. Do so freely and often, so he never forgets how happy he makes you. It'll up his confidence and make him feel awesome around you. Clinical psychologist Mary Church believes that “love is about connecting,” and taking a moment from your busy lives to express gratitude for one another nurtures that connection. [3]
    • Next time he does something nice for you, say something like, "I don't know what I would do without you. You're the sweetest and I'm so lucky." [4]
    • Give him a call on your break at work to tell him how much you love him. Say something like, "Just wanted to say I love you and that I'm so happy to have you in my life. Can't wait to see you when I get home!'
3

Text him throughout the day.

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  1. Short, sweet texts that encourage him and let him know that you miss him go a long way in letting him know that you care. Flirting via text can reignite the element of playfulness in your relationship, leading to romance. Church says, “I think so often we adults forget that we have to play. We just get so serious and stuck.”She adds, “But the idea is to kind of bring the relationship back to its origin, which is often filled with play and simulation.” [5]
    • Text something like, "Missing you! Can't wait to get home :)"
    • Don't be afraid to be a little flirty. Text him something like, "Can't stop thinking about your cute face." [6]
    • A NSFW text might really up the romance, but take some precautions if you go this route. Only send pictures or texts you're comfortable with, make sure you trust him, and give him some warning if he's out or at work. [7] .
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4

Write him romantic letters and notes.

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  1. First, brainstorm the things that you really love about your man. Find specific things, like his sense of spontaneity, his one-of-a-kind sense of humor, or even something super unique to him, like his cute ears or his freckles. Pick your favorites and write out the letter on a nice piece of paper or stationery. Address the letter to him or use a cute pet name, like "My love" or "My sweetheart." [8]
    • Mail him the letter if you're in a long-distance relationship, or hand-deliver it to him along with a little gift, flowers, or his favorite candy.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 569 wikiHow readers, and 64% agreed that the gesture they think would make their long-distance boyfriend feel the most special is sending him sweet messages. [Take Poll]
5

Give him gifts, both big and small.

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  1. Pick up his favorite coffee drink if you're meeting up for a morning walk. Make a playlist of songs that you think he would really like and send it to him. If he lives out of town, arrange for flowers to be delivered to his apartment. [9]
    • You don't have to spend a lot of money to show that you care. Handmade gifts are wonderfully romantic, and the effort it takes to make them means way more than any amount of money.
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6

Do acts of service for him.

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  1. This means a lot, especially if there's no occasion other than wanting to make him feel good. Cook him his favorite meal. Take care of his least favorite chore, especially if he's been super stressed lately. Give him a ride to work to make his commute easier and to spend a little extra time with him in the morning. [10]
    • Other nice things you can try include giving him a massage while you watch TV together and waking up early to make him breakfast in bed.
7

Plan date nights and trips to keep things exciting.

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  1. Plan a date night at least once a week where you go out to eat or cook a nice dinner at your apartment. Set aside time just to be together, with no distractions! Ratson says that “creating romance takes planning, investment and effort.” He advises, “Develop deep rituals to keep romance in your life, establish a regular date night.” [11]
    • When you're together, turn off your phone and be attentive to your guy. [12]
    • If you've been dating for a long time, do new things together to keep things fresh. Eat at a restaurant you've both never been to before, hike a new trail, or take a class together.
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8

Encourage him to do his own thing.

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  1. Be happy for him when he has plans with his friends, and encourage him to keep up with his hobbies, like playing the drums or writing short stories. Show how secure and confident you are in your relationship by supporting his individual goals, interests, and endeavors in life. [13]
    • It's completely normal if you get a little jealous sometimes when your man has plans without you. Remember that it's actually super beneficial for your relationship to keep up with your own hobbies, interests, and friendships.
9

Show him love through your touch.

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  1. Hug and kiss him when you greet him. Cuddle when you're watching TV together. Lay in bed together just to talk and hang out with each other. He'll appreciate the physical affection, and it'll bring you closer. [14]
    • Only do what you're both comfortable with. If you're not feeling very touchy or your partner isn't super physically affectionate, you can be romantic in other ways. Try expressing your love through words or acts of kindness instead.
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10

Be affectionate in public.

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  1. Hold his hand when you're going on a walk together. Give him a quick kiss when you greet him at a restaurant. Put your head on his shoulder while you're waiting for a movie to start at the theater. A little PDA shows that you're proud to be seen with him. [15]
    • It's okay if one or both of you isn't super into PDA. Talk about what you're comfortable with, whether it be hand-holding or a brief kiss on the cheek, so that you both feel good about it.
11

Try new things together.

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  1. Make plans to do things you’ve never done before. They say spontaneity is the spice of life, and it can definitely spice up a relationship, too! Maybe you’d both like to take a cooking class, join a pickleball league, or learn to swing dance. According to Church, doing new things together can remind us of the excitement and newness dating back to when you first got together. She says, “Attraction, that first stage of romantic love, is all about excitement, dopamine, and stimulation.” Therefore, think of trying new things together as a way to time travel back there! [16]
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12

Take a walk down memory lane.

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  1. Reminisce on your favorite moments that you've shared. Research shows that remembering the past together, especially the early stages of your relationship, can evoke feelings of warmth, closeness, and enhance intimacy. It also does wonders for your communication and can lead to a stronger, lasting bond. Try saying something like, “You looked so handsome in that blue polo the day we met,” and watch the sparks fly! [17]
13

Be open and vulnerable toward him.

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  1. Open up to him emotionally, and encourage him to do the same. Historically, society has frowned upon men expressing their emotions, and despite changing attitudes toward gender, you want to make sure your man knows that his safe place is with you. Let him know that he’s free to express himself authentically, whether that means laughter or tears. This will deepen your relationship significantly!
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14

Make plans for your shared future.

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  1. Discuss your visions for the next 1, 5, or 50 years. This will make him feel loved and secure. If you’re dating, have an open conversation about whether you see yourself getting engaged and married. If you’re newly engaged, discuss wedding and honeymoon plans. If you’re already married, get excited about planning your next big trip, getting a pet, or having children. Whatever you two decide upon, make sure you do it together. [18]
15

Experiment in the bedroom.

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  1. Ask him if he's ever liked to try anything new. If you're comfortable with what he says, go ahead and try it. This will show that you care about his satisfaction, and trying new things together can make you feel more comfortable with each other. Ratson adds, “Find new and thrilling places and times to have sex. Use your imagination and fantasies.”He also suggests that you “take turns in taking charge in bed or arranging a surprising and romantic event.” [19]
    • Emphasize his satisfaction, but don't forget about your own. Only try things you're both comfortable and excited about, and never feel any pressure to try something you don't want to do. [20]
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16

Final Takeaways

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  1. Keeping the romance alive falls on both people in the relationship. The term “happy wife, happy life” has been popular for a while, but it has recently been replaced by “happy spouse, happy house.” This new and improved impression signals a new, ungendered approach to keeping relationships harmonious and thriving. So, if you want to start being more romantic with your male partner, that’s a good sign of a healthy union!
    • Start small, by paying them thoughtful compliments and expressing gratitude for having them.
    • Try planning a spontaneous date night and do something you’ve never done before,

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do I deepen my relationship with my boyfriend?
    Mary Church, PhD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Mary Church is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Honolulu, Hawaii. With over a decade of clinical experience, she aims to integrate evolution, genetics, and neuroscience within the practice of psychotherapy. Dr. Church holds a BS in Psychology from Eckerd College and an MS and PhD in Experimental Psychology from The University of Memphis. She completed a Post-Doctorate in Clinical Psychology at The University of Hawaii at Manoa. In addition, Dr. Church is a member of the American Evaluation Association and Hawaii-Pacific Evaluation Association.
    Mary Church, PhD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Focus on improving the communication in your relationship. It's important to both you and your boyfriend are communicating in a healthy way, especially if one of you tends to be more passive and the other tends to be more assertive.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
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    Not Helpful 4 Helpful 19
  • Question
    How can I be more romantic everyday?
    Mary Church, PhD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Mary Church is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Honolulu, Hawaii. With over a decade of clinical experience, she aims to integrate evolution, genetics, and neuroscience within the practice of psychotherapy. Dr. Church holds a BS in Psychology from Eckerd College and an MS and PhD in Experimental Psychology from The University of Memphis. She completed a Post-Doctorate in Clinical Psychology at The University of Hawaii at Manoa. In addition, Dr. Church is a member of the American Evaluation Association and Hawaii-Pacific Evaluation Association.
    Mary Church, PhD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Try to add more excitement to your relationship. When you first start going out with someone, there's plenty of excitement since you don't know each other well. However, when you get used to each other, your relationship starts to fall into a groove. Upping the excitement helps boost the romance in your relationship!
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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    Not Helpful 5 Helpful 17
  • Question
    How do I set up for a romantic surprise?
    Madeleine Criglow
    Community Answer
    You could hint to him that you're preparing a surprise, or you could be spontaneous and just go for it to really surprise him. He'll appreciate your efforts either way!
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      References

      1. ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 7 August 2019.
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insights-yet-unseen/202209/give-more-compliments-it-won-t-be-awkward-you-think
      3. ↑ Mary Church, PhD. Research & Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201807/7-ways-keep-the-flame-alive-in-your-relationship
      5. ↑ Mary Church, PhD. Research & Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 6 August 2021
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/201806/why-do-we-flirt-text
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/201806/why-do-we-flirt-text
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empowerment-diary/201405/writing-passionate-love-letters
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/contemplating-divorce/201712/what-gifts-your-spouse-say-about-your-marriage
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201010/10-ways-make-your-relationship-magically-romantic
      2. ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 7 August 2019.
      3. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
      4. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201010/10-ways-make-your-relationship-magically-romantic
      6. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/the-psychology-of-love
      7. ↑ Mary Church, PhD. Research & Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-at-any-age/201401/remembering-the-good-old-days-can-revive-your-relationship
      9. ↑ https://extension.usu.edu/hru/blog/7-ways-to-bring-back-romance-to-your-long-term-relationship
      10. ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 7 August 2019.
      11. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/the-psychology-of-love

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