How to Make Friends With Females

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Plus, learn the best places to meet new female friends
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No matter who you are, it's healthy (and fun!) to have a mix of male and female friends. It's totally normal to feel nervous about approaching and befriending women you don't know, but it's easier than you think. In this article, we'll explain how (and where) to meet potential female friends and how to build a true friendship with them. We'll even go over the benefits of having female friends in your life, all with help from life coaches, psychologists, and relationship experts!

How to Make Friends with a Woman

Introduce yourself and start a conversation. Keep the conversation light by asking friendly, open-ended questions, and avoid touching or acting too friendly with her at first. If the conversation goes well, exchange contact information to set up future hangouts and build the friendship.

Section 1 of 6:

How to Meet New Female Friends

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  1. You will find that you can make female friends in a broad range of places! Consider your special interests and hobbies and use different activities to meet potential female friends. [1]
    • For example, you can meet women at work, at church, in your neighborhood, or at activities both of you do, like a running club. Alternatively, try apps like Bumble BFF or Meetup. [2]
  2. Keep the conversation light and ask open-ended questions to feel the other person out. Listen to what she says to get a sense of her personality and if you two might “click.” If you know you have any overlapping interests, use those to steer the conversation. [3]
    • Example: “Hi, my name’s Sophie, and I heard you’re super passionate about working with homeless people. I was wondering what drew you to that field? I’d love to chat about it if you have time.”
    • Example: “Hi there, I’m Sophie and I’m friends with Janice. I’ve heard so many nice things about you. I’d love to get to know you better!”
    • If you’re a guy: Talk to a woman casually so you don’t seem like you’re hitting on her. Approach slowly and with the intention of having a conversation and nothing else. Keep yourself at a comfortable distance without touching her.
      • You might say, “Hi, I’m Christopher. I’ve seen you around recently so you must be new to the team. Welcome! What's your role with the company?”
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  3. Most women appreciate people who take care of their appearance without going over the top. Wearing a nice outfit and being well-groomed can give her a positive impression of you and encourage her to get to know you better. [4]
    • Generally speaking, keep your clothing, makeup, and hair simple. Anything elaborate can send the message that you're high-maintenance or even make you seem competitive, which some women don’t like.
    • Avoid overdoing it to impress your potential friend. Looking like yourself shows her that you're comfortable with who you are. [5]
  4. Most women enjoy being around people who are confident, kind, and at ease in their own skin. Maintain eye contact and casually bring up any mutual interests. Give her space to speak her mind. Kindly talk to her and offer any help, assistance, or advice if she needs it. [6]
    • Most of all, show your real personality! Most women can tell when someone is being fake, and she may not want to pursue a friendship with you if you’re not being yourself.
    • Avoid being too overconfident, though, as it may make you seem pretentious. [7]
    • Avoid closed-off body language like crossing your arms.
  5. 5
    Exchange contact information to set up future plans. If you hit it off, it's time to take things to the next level! It can help to have a specific intention when you bring up exchanging contact information. For example, if you meet at a pickup soccer game, suggest staying in touch so you can let each other know the next time you play a game. If you’re new to a city, simply say that you’re new here and looking to hang out.
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Section 2 of 6:

How to Get to Know Each Other

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  1. If you’re unsure of what she likes, just ask! Don't be afraid to tell her about your interests, too. Friendship is a two-way street, and it’s important for her to know about your passions. [8]
    • Women enjoy a wide range of activities, including shopping, hiking, photography, and running. Mentioning things that you might think she is interested in can help form a bond between the two of you. [9]
    • For example, if you meet a woman in yoga class, you might ask her what her favorite poses are. Then, find out if she has any other fitness hobbies. If you're an avid runner or gym rat, you could mention that.
  2. Listen closely to what she says, especially if you are a man seeking a female friendship. This demonstrates that you care and want to develop the friendship, which can build trust and help stimulate conversation with her. [10] Make sure to ask follow-up questions to show that you’re listening. Remember to listen instead of thinking about how you’ll respond.
    • Compliment her on her interests and ask her deeper questions. For example, if she volunteers for the Red Cross, say “I really admire your work with the Red Cross and would love to know more about how you got involved with the organization.”
    • Enjoying a balance of meaningful and playful conversations can help develop your acquaintance into a good friendship because women like to be able to talk about both serious and light subjects. [11]
  3. As you get to know your acquaintance better, make sure to stay independent and tell her your true opinions about things rather than just agreeing with everything she says. Having meaningful exchanges and conversations keeps your friendship fresh. [12]
    • Don’t dumb yourself down for your acquaintance. Show her you’re capable of forming opinions.
    • Avoid asking her to spend too much time together and don’t make yourself too available, either. This helps show her that other people are also interested in being friends with you. [13]
    Brene Brown, Author & Professor of Social Work

    Preserve your sense of self, always. "I feel like I belong everywhere I go, no matter where it is or who I’m with, as long as I never betray myself. And the minute I become who you want me to be in order to fit in and make sure people like me is the moment I no longer belong anywhere."

  4. Your acquaintance may be inclined to get to know you better if you demonstrate one of your talents for her and do activities of mutual interest. This could stimulate conversations or doing other activities, while showing her a side of you that many people may not see. [14]
    • Keep your demonstration simple so that it’s fun for both of you and doesn’t appear like competition. For example, you can cook for her. You can invite her for dinner by saying “I love to cook Italian food and would enjoy making us my famous lasagna.”
    • Allow her to demonstrate her talents to you, too.
  5. To be honest, you and your new friend may not share everything in common. So be flexible in what you two undertake together, by sometimes doing things you like and other times what she does. [15]
    • This demonstrates your interest in and commitment to developing your friendship. For example, if she wants to go running one day and you prefer to have brunch, do what she wants and suggest you have brunch next time.
  6. Women tend to enjoy being around others who are positive and fun. She likely wants to enjoy time together and not immediately jump into how bad your life or the world is, so try your best to remain positive and keep the pessimistic talk for deeper, rarer conversations. [16]
    • Start your conversation with good news and things that have happened to you. Squeeze in negative topics once you’re both into the conversation and have loosened the mood a bit.
    • Understand that every person has an occasional bad day. If you have one, don’t be afraid to talk to her about it and then move on. [17]
    • According to life coach Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA, being more positive starts small. When you feel pessimistic, write down a list of things that are stressing you out to clear them out of your head and inspire hope.
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Section 3 of 6:

How to Deepen Your Friendship

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  1. Once you’ve moved beyond the acquaintance stage, share your deeper thoughts and feelings with your friend. This signals that you trust her and consider her a confidant. That said, only share intimate details with your friends if you're comfortable and you're sure she's also comfortable with it. [18]
    • Be sure not to overshare. There is a fine line between sharing feelings and personal information and giving away too much.
    • To platonically express your affection for your friend, marriage & family therapist Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC, suggests simply saying that you love them. Even if you fear expressing that love, they likely won’t take it the wrong way.
  2. Having your friend meet your broader circle of friends can help solidify your friendship. In many cases, if she and your friends get along, this can further develop your friendship and bring her into the group. [19]
    • Don’t be afraid to meet her friends, too. By introducing yourself to them and building friendships with them, you can strengthen your relationship with her, too.
    • If you’re a guy: When you’re hanging out with an all-female group, Ratson says to be authentic and “be who you are with respect, kindness, gentleness, [and] compassion.”
  3. One of the hallmarks of a good friend is that she remembers important dates and events and follows up on getting together, so it’s important for both you and her to do so if you want to nurture the friendship. Make sure to offer support and congratulations whenever either are due, and follow up with her to schedule time together. [20]
    • Send text messages, call her, or write cards to wish her good luck or congratulate her successes. Any gesture, no matter how small, is appropriate.
  4. As you get to know one another better and enjoy being together, increase the amount of time you spend together. Seeing each other on a regular basis can help deepen and solidify your friendship into something truly meaningful. [21]
    • Set up a regular “date.” For example, agree to meet for a run and brunch on Sundays. This will give you both a chance to stimulate endorphins and eat good food while enjoying time together. [22]
    • If you’re looking for something casual to do, dating coach Candice Mostisser suggests getting a drink at the bar, heading to a farmer’s market, trying a new tea or matcha place, or checking out some local sites.
    • Remember to be flexible if she can’t meet. Ask if you can meet some other time during the week.
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Section 4 of 6:

Where to Meet Female Friends

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  1. 1
    CrossFit Trying to build your strength and meet like-minded women while doing so? Then start doing CrossFit! Even if you decide that CrossFit isn’t your thing, you can meet women who you forge lifelong friendships with. It’s not necessarily the CrossFit that matters, it’s the potential friends that you make when you’re doing it! [23]
  2. 2
    Book clubs Book clubs are a good mix between solitude and socializing, as you get to read a book separately before coming together to discuss it. So, whether you’re an o mnivert, ambivert , a super bookworm, or just looking for friends who like to read, start a book club or join one for an opportunity to meet new people and build new friendships with them. [24]
  3. 3
    Theatre Theatre is a great way to express yourself and show off your acting chops while making new friends. When you’re rehearsing for a show, you’re around the same people for months at a time. People from all different walks of life who can make great friends. At the very least, you’ll meet someone who brightens your life for the duration of the show. So check out some local theatres, audition for a show , and put yourself out there! [25]
  4. 4
    Running clubs If you’re the type to get active, join a running club in your community. There are plenty of different types of running clubs for all types of speeds, so it doesn’t matter if you’re competitive or the type to jog in the back, there’s something for you! When you find a club that fits your groove, you’ll be around a bunch of people similar to you at least once a week, which is perfect for making new friends! [26]
  5. 5
    Volunteering If you’re interested in helping others and making friends in the process, look for volunteering options in your community. See if any food banks, homeless shelters, soup kitchens, or other volunteering agencies in your community have any opportunities open, then introduce yourself to fellow volunteers if you’re able to join. [27]
  6. 6
    Friendship Apps There are plenty of websites and apps made for you to meet new friends who share your interests, like Meetup.com , Yubo , and BeFriend . Like dating apps, you create a profile on these sites, talking about your interests and important things about yourself. Then, you join groups of mutual interests or swipe through potential friends depending on the app you’re on, giving you an easy opportunity to meet people in your area.
    • Meetup is especially good for making friends with similar interests, as they have tons of niche groups for you to choose from.
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Section 5 of 6:

Benefits of Female Friendships

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  1. 1
    You’ll have someone you can count on. Whether you need someone to talk to about something that’s troubling you, looking for a friend to keep secrets and lend a listening ear, or in need of someone to talk about your wins with, you can find that in a female friend. Building strong bonds with women can help you develop emotional and mental strength, too, so having a female friend in your life is essential. [28]
  2. 2
    You’ll have someone to laugh with. When you’re friends with a woman, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to laugh and experience joyful moments. It can be something as little as dropping a bottle of soda and watching it explode open, if you’re with one of your girlies, you can easily laugh it off until you’re both keeled over.
    • Laughing with friends was even been linked to a lower risk of developing functional disability in a study published in a February 2022 issue of Preventive Medicine. [29]
  3. 3
    You’ll be able to get advice, guidance, and support from your circle. When you sit down and open up about how you’re feeling to your female friends, they can tell you exactly what you need to hear when you need to hear it. In fact, a 2019 study found that women who have a stronger circle of friendships can lean on others for mentorship and guidance more than people who don’t, which can lead to lead to higher positions of authority at work, among other social benefits. [30]
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Section 6 of 6:

How to Refer to Your Female Friend

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  1. 1
    Just call her your friend! Her gender doesn’t matter, she’s still your friend by definition. A friend is simply a person who you know well, like a lot, and aren’t related to, so just call her your friend! If you’re in conversation with someone and they ask for clarification on your friend’s gender, then call them your female friend.
    • Example: “My friend and I went down to the beach the other day to catch up. I’m happy to say she’s doing good!”
    • Example: “I got lunch with my friend during her break. We haven’t been able to keep in touch as much since graduation, so it was nice to see her!”
    • Be careful when referring to her as your “girl friend.” People may mistake her for your partner.
  2. 2
    Give her a cute, casual nickname if you’re close. As you build a solid friendship with a woman, you can start using more endearing nicknames when referring to her. It may not be the best thing to call her bestie if you just started talking, but if you’ve been close for months or years, confide in each other, and are each other’s best friends, then bestie may be more applicable. If you’re not at that bestie level, try nicknames like: [31]
    • Queen
    • Sis
    • Girly
    • Angel
    • Jelly Bean
    • Homegirl
    • Gal
    • Senorita
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do you make a girl friend in college?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Try to find something to connect about like a mutual class, an interest, being from the same hometown or state, etc. Start taking small steps. Ask a question. Give a compliment.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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  • Question
    How do I make friends in my 20s?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Many people in their 20s are single which allows for more opportunities. Try to connect around an activity, hobby, class, or mutual friend.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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  • Question
    How do adults make new friends?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Adults sometimes have to work on making friends, either through their work, kids' friends' parents, or hobbies. Busier schedules and family commitments can sometimes add challenges. But friendships are important at all ages.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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      References

      1. ↑ http://realwomanonline.com/new-friend-conundrum/
      2. ↑ http://realwomanonline.com/new-friend-conundrum/
      3. ↑ https://www.npr.org/2020/10/15/923962314/good-conversations-take-time-and-attention-heres-how-to-have-better-ones
      4. ↑ https://www.unicef.org/wash/hygiene
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-happiness-project/201109/8-tips-making-friends
      6. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/making-good-friends
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201910/the-pitfalls-overconfidence
      8. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/making-good-friends
      9. ↑ http://realwomanonline.com/new-friend-conundrum/
      1. ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/active-listening-definition-skills-benefits.html#What-are-the-Benefits-of-Active-Listening
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-happiness-project/201109/8-tips-making-friends
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201305/friendships-in-adulthood-needing-making-and-keeping-them
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201305/friendships-in-adulthood-needing-making-and-keeping-them
      5. ↑ https://proofpositive.org/pov/the-importance-of-shared-interests-when-building-friendships/
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201305/friendships-in-adulthood-needing-making-and-keeping-them
      7. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860
      8. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shasta-nelson-mdiv/ten-steps-to-starting-friendships_b_6851524.html
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201305/friendships-in-adulthood-needing-making-and-keeping-them
      10. ↑ https://archive.nytimes.com/learning.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/10/27/how-do-you-feel-about-introducing-friends-from-different-parts-of-your-life/
      11. ↑ https://www.loyola.edu/department/counseling-center/public-health-initiatives/helping-friend.html
      12. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/making-good-friends
      13. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201305/friendships-in-adulthood-needing-making-and-keeping-them
      14. ↑ https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/where-to-make-friends-real-women
      15. ↑ https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/where-to-make-friends-real-women
      16. ↑ https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/where-to-make-friends-real-women
      17. ↑ https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/where-to-make-friends-real-women
      18. ↑ https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/where-to-make-friends-real-women
      19. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201808/the-importance-female-friendships-among-women
      20. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/laughing-with-friends-linked-to-lower-risk-of-disability
      21. ↑ https://thewell.northwell.edu/womens-health/importance-of-female-friendships
      22. ↑ https://www.southernliving.com/culture/nicknames-best-friends

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