Cole Imperi

Certified Thanatologist

Cole Imperi is a certified Thanatologist and the Founder of the School of American Thanatology based in Los Angeles, CA. With over 17 years of experience, her mission is to help people explore their relationship with death, dying, grief and loss so they can get the most out of life. Cole is a 2-time TedX speaker focusing on shadowloss and resiliency, and is the author of the book A Guide to Grief, for teens and tweens. Cole has been featured on the Netflix series The Future of… and in The Atlantic, The New York Times, Ologies, Marie Claire, USA Today, and more. She also writes the popular column Grief or Madness and consults on bereavement programming for organizations.

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What should I say to someone when their loved one dies?

One of the best things you can say or write is to share a memory of the person who has died. Instead of adding to the chorus of “I’m sorry for your loss”— you can say, “I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad. I want to tell you about my strongest memory of him — I remember him picking me up after school in eighth grade and taking me out for ice cream. I'll never forget the way your dad cared for me.”

Sharing memories is a gift — it lets people know their person made a big impact.

Co-authored Articles (4)

What to Say (and Not Say) to a Mother Whose Child Has Passed Away

Plus, expert advice on how to support a grieving motherIt’s hard to know what to do or say when someone you care about loses a loved one, especially when that loved one is a child. You want to show your support, but mo...

90+ Things to Say to Someone Who’s Grieving (& What Not to Say)

Experts explain how to comfort someone who’s lost a loved oneLoss and grief are some of the most inevitable yet devastating parts of life, and it can feel equally as difficult when one of your friends or family members...

80 Other Ways to Say "Sorry for Your Loss"

Thoughtful ways to express condolences to someone in mourningAre you trying to figure out what to say instead of “sorry for your loss” to someone who is grieving? We're here to help. Read on for 80 thoughtful message...

What to Say to Someone Who’s Experienced Pregnancy Loss

Plus how to support a grieving parent with more than wordsA miscarriage is one of the hardest things an expecting mother can experience. The parent- or parents-to-be, as well as their close loved ones, are likely to be e...

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Cole Imperi

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Co-authored Articles (4)

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