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Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Psychotherapist

Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is also an award-winning and best-selling author. Her latest book, “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues", details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each.

Education

  • University of Pennsylvania, MSW
  • University of Florida, BA, Health/Sociology

Professional Achievements

  • Published "Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues" in 2024
  • Published “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” in 2010
  • Published “Thriving with ADHD” in 2018, winner of the Indie Book Award and Firebird Book Award
  • Co-hosted advice show on LA Talk Radio, currently hosts livestream show on Balance by Nature
  • Columnist for Psychology Today

Certifications & Organizations

  • Licensed Clinical Social Worker
  • Spokesperson for Brillia, ADHD Awareness
  • Psychotherapist Consultant for Cognitive Leap

Philosophy

Kelli strives to provide both immediate, short-term solutions and long-term, in-depth care for a wide variety of clients. Her strengths include helping clients develop better self-esteem, facilitating open and constructive communication among family members, and working with romantic partners to address underlying causes of dissatisfaction in a relationship.

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Forum Comments (23)

How can I motivate myself more?
Lack of motivation can be a few different things. Sometimes, lack of motivation can be depression in hiding. So first, we want to make sure you're mentally healthy, and a good therapist can help with this.

Other times, lack of motivation can be because we get intimidated by too big a goal. If that’s the case, I’d suggest replacing your goals with smaller ones. For example, if your goal was to lose 50 pounds, instead of saying you’ll work out daily for 2 hours and give up all sugar, start with just walking 20 minutes a few times a week. As you progress, you can add more things. This can feel more reasonable and less intimidating than doing everything at once.

I am a licensed clinical social worker providing general information for educational purposes only. I am not liable for any decisions made or actions taken based on the information provided.
What does "negging" mean? Examples?
Negging is a subtle form of emotional manipulation where someone uses backhanded compliments or mild insults to undermine your confidence, often in dating or social settings. It’s meant to create self-doubt so you seek the other person's approval. You can recognize it when a comment makes you feel "off"—like you're being complimented and insulted at the same time. Trust your gut: if someone’s words consistently leave you feeling less secure, it may be negging.

I am a licensed clinical social worker providing general information for educational purposes only. I am not liable for any decisions made or actions taken based on the information provided.
Is there any truth to right person, wrong time?
Yes, I believe both timing in a relationship and a person’s maturity and readiness for the relationship do make a difference, and it can work eventually. It might need time to “see” how this person is right for you, ending another relationship to be ready for this one, etc.

I am a licensed clinical social worker providing general information for educational purposes only. I am not liable for any decisions made or actions taken based on the information provided.
How to end a friendship with someone.
First and foremost, I believe it’s easier to think of it as an ending of the friendship for now . The truth is, we don’t know if things change on either end, and the friendship may resume. It’s good to keep an open mind about the possibility of reconciliation . If you’ve felt you’ve tried to explain your feelings or the behaviors in your friend you didn’t like, it’s best then to state something along the lines of “I’ve appreciated our friendship in the past but for now I’m realizing it’s best we take some time to put our friendship on pause.”

I am a licensed clinical social worker providing general information for educational purposes only. I am not liable for any decisions made or actions taken based on the information provided.
What are the characteristics of an ideal man for marriage?
My biggest rule of thumb is, don’t date based on potential . In other words, what you see right now in your partner is who they are. Often, there is a fantasy that the things we don’t like with our partner will disappear once we get married. So the biggest question I’d ask is: would I be happy marrying them as they are today? Do I get my needs met: emotionally, physically, spiritually, and more? There are many struggles and obstacles in life. Can I imagine going through hard times with this person and coming out the other end?

I am a licensed clinical social worker providing general information for educational purposes only. I am not liable for any decisions made or actions taken based on the information provided.
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Co-authored Articles (293)

What's Your Red Flag Quiz

Red flags: we all have them. At the end of the day, nobody’s perfect—but have you ever stopped to wonder what might cause your dates to bolt? Maybe it’s a quirky habit, maybe it’s a fear of commitment. Either ...

Does He Like Me Quiz

Some guys can feel like a total mystery. How can you figure out if he likes you as just a friend—or if he wants something more? When you pay close attention, you might start to find that his actions reveal all his se...

Love Language Quiz

You know the story: one partner says “I think you're amazing,” when the other just wants them to unload the dishwasher. What happens when two people love each other, but they just don’t show it in the way their par...

Men Type Quiz

Butterflies, crushes, soulmates…love makes life exciting! But how can you find a man who’s sure to make your heart soar? We all have a type. Identify yours, and you’ll be one step closer to finding the perfect gu...

Am I In Love Quiz

Is it a deep friendship, a crush, or something more? True love can be overwhelming, confusing—and totally incredible. So how do you know if you’ve been struck by cupid’s bow? With a little self-reflection, you...

Am I Ready For A Relationship Quiz

Relationships offer fun, comfort, and companionship, but how do you know when you’re ready to commit? Maybe you’ve been burned in the past, or maybe this would be your first serious relationship. Either way, we love...

How to Compliment a Guy's Manhood: 14 Sexy Compliments

You’re enjoying sex with your man and want to let him know how much you like his manhood, but how do you compliment such a sensitive area? There are a lot of phrases you can use to let him know he’s got the goods, an...

Am I Toxic Quiz

“Toxic” people are a hot topic. Typically, this term is used to describe a negative person who regularly devalues others. Everyone’s selfish sometimes, and, on occasion, we all tell white lies. So how do you know i...

How to Respond to "What's Up?"

Example replies for "what's up?" in any situationYou’re minding your own business when a “What’s up?” is thrown your way. You may hear this friendly phrase from a friend, crush, coworker, or stranger. They want t...

What to Say When a Family Member, Friend, or Acquaintance Is in the Hospital

Supportive and sweet messages to say in-person, over the phone, or text to someone in the hospital When someone you know is sick in the hospital, it can be hard to know how best to support them. Sending a quick, encourag...

How to

Disappear Completely

Whether you need to lay low or simply want to be left alone, disappearing might sound like a good idea. Running away usually isn’t necessary and most problems are solvable with help. Instead of vanishing completely, co...

Role Playing With Your Spouse: Sexy Scenarios, Fulfilling Fantasies, & More

Set the stage for fun and excitement using this simple guideRole playing with your partner is a great way to bring a little spark to your relationship and get you excited about your sex life again. It's natural to be a l...

How to Get a Friend or Family Member to Move Out

Evict someone from your home yourself or through the legal systemHas your friend or relative overstayed their welcome at your house? Kicking someone you know and love out can seem like a pretty daunting task, but the goo...

How to Tell if Your Husband Is Gay

Plus, how to talk to your husband about his sexuality Sexuality is complex, and there are a lot of people out there who don’t realize their sexuality is more fluid than they think until later in life. If you suspect yo...

How to Get Your Mind & Body Ready for Sex

Connect with yourself and your lover with these expert-backed tipsHaving sex with someone new can be nerve-wracking, but it’s exciting, too! There are probably a lot of things running through your mind when you’re pr...

How to Have Great Sex in the Morning

The best positions and steamy tips for a sexual morning wakeup Sex is a great way to unwind at the end of a long day, but there’s no need to save all the fun for nighttime! If you and your partner wake up feeling perky...

How to Find Your DoppelgÓ“nger (or Twin)

Ever wondered if there was someone out there who looked just like you? We’ve all heard the urban legend that there are 6 people out there who look just like us—but how, exactly, can you find your identical stranger? ...

10 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Hiding Something on His Phone

Look for these red flags to tell if he’s keeping something from youIt’s important to be open and honest with your partner when you’re in a relationship. If you notice that your boyfriend is being sneakier with his ...

How Insecure Am I Quiz

Do you sometimes feel uncomfortable in your own skin or like you’re not good enough? If so, it may be because you’re insecure. Insecurity is a state of uncertainty or inadequacy and can make you doubt yourself. We kn...

How to Answer “How’s It Going?” in Any Situation

Never struggle to quickly come up with a response againYou’re going about your day when someone asks you "How's it going?" A simple question, right? Then why can it feel so tricky to answer? Don't worry—we’ve compi...
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