This article was co-authored by Jules Hirst
and by wikiHow staff writer, Bertha Isabel Crombet, PhD
. Jules Hirst is an Etiquette Coach and founder of Etiquette Consulting, Inc. based in Culver City, California. Through her work, Jules has been empowering individuals in social skills, leadership, and confidence through the lens of etiquette and helping her clients to feel comfortable in any situation since 2006. Jules conducts lectures, workshops, seminars, and webinars for business professionals, young adults, and teens. Her instruction covers topics like networking, dining, & social etiquette, understanding cultural differences, professional image, making genuine connections, and more. Jules is the co-author of the book, Power of Civility, which provides tools to boost social intelligence and build cultural competence,and the Technical Editor of Modern Etiquette for Dummies. She has partnered with a number of universities including UC Berkeley, UCLA, and USC, bringing her university etiquette seminars to college students. She has also appeared on NBC Nightly News, ABC World News, Bravo T.V., the New York Times, HGTV, and more.
There are 12 references
cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
Everything we do is autobiographical, each small part revealing something about the whole. But how does crossing your legs factor in? Can it give away hidden motives or feelings? Keep reading for an in-depth analysis on what different sitting and standing positions can reveal about someone's feelings and personality. Plus, we'll go over some body language basics to help you read non-verbal cues.
Crossed Knees Body Language
Someone sitting with their knees crossed may be feeling nervous or anxious. It can also indicate that they're defensive or withdrawn, especially if their arms are crossed. On the other hand, they might be relaxed and simply find the position comfortable.
Steps
What does crossing your knees mean?
-
Someone who crosses their knees may be nervous, anxious, or defensive. If their posture is rigid, they may be trying to create a barrier between them and someone else, especially if they're having a difficult conversation. If they're more relaxed, it may just be a comfortable sitting position for them. Pay attention to other body language cues to get a more complete picture of how someone might be feeling. [1] X Research source
- If a woman crosses her knees, it's usually seen as an attractive, appealing position.
- If a man crosses his knees, he may be feeling defensive. If he also crosses his arms, he's displaying closed body language, which typically means he's withdrawn from the conversation.
Decoding Other Sitting & Standing Positions
-
1Crossed knees with leg pointing to someone When someone is sitting down with crossed legs and their top leg is pointing to the person speaking, it’s a good sign that they're open, engaged, and interested in what the other person has to say. On the other hand, if their foot is pointing in the opposite direction of the other person, it might reveal that they’re not really into the conversation…or person. [2] X Research source
- If a co-worker’s upper body is pointed toward another co-worker, but their legs and feet are pointing away from them, they might be trying to hide the fact that they’re no longer interested in the conversation.
-
2Crossed ankles Someone sitting with their legs crossed at the ankles could mean they're being dishonest or are insecure. [3] X Research source Scratching one ankle with the other foot is also a sign of discomfort and may be done to relieve stress in a tense situation.
- This seated position is often used by women, offering a proper and feminine look.
- If a man sits with their ankles crossed, it could signal that he's closed off, agitated, or trying to keep something close to the vest.
- Crossing your ankles is appropriate in the workplace, at school as a teacher or student, during legal proceedings, and in other relatively formal situations.
-
3Figure 4 When a person is sitting upright with one foot firmly planted on the ground and the other leg crossed with their ankle resting on the other knee, it indicates authority, The person is taking up as much physical space as possible as a way of claiming territory. It may indicate competitiveness and assertiveness. [4] X Research source
- This position is widely used in North America and parts of Europe, but sitting this way and showing someone the soles of your shoes can be viewed as a sign of disrespect in places like Asia and the Middle East. [5] X Research source ​​
-
4Figure 4 with a hand clamped onto the leg If someone is seated in a figure 4 position and clamps down on their ankle hinging on the knee, it could be a sign of discomfort, inflexibility, or aggression. Using the arm creates an even sturdier barrier between two people.
- One might assume this position if they have no interest in hearing what the other person has to say and have decided to reject whatever they’re proposing.
-
5Shifting weight when sitting When someone is sitting down and briefly shifts their body weight by pushing up on the seat with their hands, it can be an indicator of stress, boredom, or physical discomfort. The key is to observe the other mannerisms that accompany the shift. If they’re looking away, they might be stressed. If they’re biting their nails or otherwise fidgeting, they could be bored. And if there are no other behavioral changes, they are probably just trying out a new sitting position. [6] X Research source
- This so-called "hip shift" is common during difficult discussions as a way to relieve tension.
-
6Resting head in hands This is usually a sign that someone is listening carefully to what you’re saying and is settling into the conversation. If someone is angled toward you when touching their cheek, their open body language further supports this idea. Because resting one’s cheek in one's hands implies relaxation, this position is seen a lot during personal conversations in which the people trust each other. [7] X Research source
-
7Hands folded at front When someone folds their hands in front of their groin, they may be uncomfortable. This stance is common among people awkwardly posing for photos or giving presentations in business settings. Also known as the “fig leaf” position, this hints at social discomfort and the need to be reassured. It points to vulnerability and a fear of failure, or even worse–appearing stupid or ill-prepared in front of an audience. [8] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- Covering the groin can be viewed as a submissive move, so it’s advised not to assume this stance when trying to close a business deal.
-
8Hands on hips This pose is often referred to as the “Superman” pose and may be a signal that the person is stressed but standing their ground on a certain issue. Although they may be experiencing some internal issues, this stance implies that the person is ready for action, making themselves bigger by taking up more space with the triangle shape their arms are creating.
- For women, placing the hands on the hips is a flirty strategy
, highlighting their waist-to-hip ratio, which is an indication of fertility.
- One hand on the hip gestures at a mother-child dynamic, where one person is clearly in control and is trying to remain firm in their convictions.
- For men, closed fists on the hips is a sign of increased aggression or hostility. [9]
X
Research source
- Athletes can be seen with hands, or fists, on their hips during sports games when they don’t agree with the referee, for example.
- For women, placing the hands on the hips is a flirty strategy
, highlighting their waist-to-hip ratio, which is an indication of fertility.
Body Language Basics
-
1Body language is a type of non-verbal communication. Everyone communicates using body language, which includes posture, gestures, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Some behaviors, like batting the eyes, can be on purpose, while others may be totally subconscious, like pressing a finger between the eyes when stressed. Body language analysis seeks to make sense of these reactions, as they may reveal a lot about our complicated and secret inner worlds.
- These non-verbal cues can support or contradict the words coming out of someone’s mouth.
- For example, if someone is saying yes to something, but their arms and legs are crossed, they might not be as interested or supportive as they claim to be.
- These non-verbal cues can support or contradict the words coming out of someone’s mouth.
-
2Closed body language says “no,” while open body language says “yes.” These two categories of body language can reveal a lot about someone’s level of confidence, interest in another person, and/or status. Closed body language lets others know that they’re uncomfortable, unengaged, and uninterested. Open body language implies that someone is attentive and interested, and is often a sign of good rapport between two people. [10] X Research source
- An example of closed body language would be someone standing up against a wall with their ankles and arms crossed, facing away from the other person.
- An example of open body language would be someone standing up straight with their legs shoulder-width apart and their head, palms, and body facing the other person.
-
3"Mirroring" is when someone matches another person's body language. People unintentionally mimic other people's body language when they're friendly with or attracted to that person. The psychology behind mirroring is all about providing the other person the comfort of similarity, with the ultimate goal of getting them to like you, personally or professionally. [11] X Research source
-
4Body language usually can't be faked. It’s very difficult to control all the signals the body is sending without it seeming unnatural. For example, someone who wants to appear calm, confident, and collected at an interview can try to sit upright, maintain eye contact, and not fidget with their hands, but more often than not, the body will forget to maintain this charade and tense right back up if they really are nervous.
- If someone knows that their body will display defensive or anxious energy by tensing up the arms and legs, then they can make a conscious effort to try and remain open, even in stressful situations. [12] X Research source
Expert Q&A
Tips
You Might Also Like
References
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/body-language
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/commonly-misunderstood-body-language-2018-6#surprisingly-smiling-is-misunderstood-too-6
- ↑ https://virtualspeech.com/blog/examples-positive-and-negative-body-language
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/leg-body-language/
- ↑ https://nacada.ksu.edu/Resources/Clearinghouse/View-Articles/Body-Language-Around-the-World.aspx
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/hip-body-language/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/head-body-language/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/communication/nonverbal-communication
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-at-any-age/201206/the-ultimate-guide-to-body-language