200+ Deep Questions to Get to Know Someone Better

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Break the ice with new folks or get to know old friends better
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Looking to learn more about others and how they see the world? Asking thought-provoking questions is the best way to bond with someone and deepen your relationship, no matter how long you’ve known them. In this article, we’re providing the ultimate list of deep questions about life, values, beliefs, and more. We’ll also provide tips on how to ask personal questions to keep the conversation going and have an enjoyable experience.

Deep Questions to Ask

  1. What brings you joy?
  2. What’s your idea of success?
  3. What brings out your inner child?
  4. Who would you call in an emergency?
  5. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
  6. What are 3 things you love about yourself?
  7. If you only had one day left to live, how would you spend it?
Section 1 of 9:

Deep Questions to Ask Friends

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  1. No matter how long you’ve known someone, there’s always something new and exciting to learn about them. These deep questions will encourage your friend to open up and be vulnerable with you, helping you discover more about their life than ever before. [1]
    • What’s your motto for life?
    • Do you think you’re brave?
    • What keeps you up at night?
    • What’s your earliest memory?
    • How do you practice self-care?
    • What’s your biggest insecurity?
    • When’s the last time you cried?
    • What’s holding you back in life?
    • What brings out your inner child?
    • Did you have a happy childhood?
    • Are you missing anyone right now?
    • What’s your least favorite emotion?
    • When’s the last time you felt alone?
    • What does happiness mean to you?
    • When do you feel the most beautiful?
    • What role does alcohol play in your life?
    • What’s your most embarrassing moment?
    • What recent experience made you feel closer to me?
    • What’s one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?
    • What current events or causes are you most passionate about?
    • If you could put up a statue of someone, who would it be and why?
    • If your life was a book, what’s the title of the chapter you’re in now?
    • Would you rather always be stressed and busy, or always be bored?
    • If this was our last conversation, what would you want me to never forget?
    • If you could step into another person’s shoes for a day, who would it be and why?
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Section 2 of 9:

Deep Questions to Ask a Girl

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  1. Ask personal questions to deepen your connection with a girl. If you want to connect with a girl on a deeper level , you should “ask about [her] life goals and values,” says matchmaker and dating coach Lauren Sanders. Discussing meaningful topics is the best way to build intimacy in any relationship, but if you’re worried about overstepping boundaries, preface by saying it’s totally fine not to answer.
    • What makes you smile on a bad day?
    • What’s one thing you can’t live without?
    • What’s your favorite childhood memory?
    • Who are your dream dinner party guests?
    • Do you care what people think about you?
    • What fictional character are you most like?
    • What’s something you love learning about?
    • What’s your favorite quality about yourself?
    • What role do you play in your friend group?
    • What quality do you value most in a friend?
    • If you could, would you want to be famous?
    • Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?
    • Do you express your emotions or suppress them?
    • What’s the most important relationship in your life?
    • Are you more like your mom or your dad? How so?
    • Do you prefer spending time with friends or family?
    • What’s your most controversial opinion or hot take?
    • Do you prefer physical or non-physical compliments?
    • What’s the hardest truth you’ve had to face this past year?
    • Who in your life do you wish you could make amends with?
    • Who’s the first person you would call if you received bad news?
    • What do most people overestimate or underestimate about you?
    • Do you think it’s possible for men and women to be “just friends?”
    • What’s one thing that you do on a daily basis that no one knows you hate doing?
    • What’s something you’ve tolerated in the past that you no longer have space for?
Section 3 of 9:

Deep Questions to Ask a Guy

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  1. Delve into deeper questions to see if you share similar viewpoints. Looking to learn more about a guy? Ask personal questions about his values, dreams, fears, and childhood to build trust and explore any similarities. Since some guys feel uncomfortable opening up and being vulnerable, make sure you ask these questions in a safe space:
    • What brings you joy?
    • Who’s your role model?
    • Do you like to be alone?
    • What’s your favorite book?
    • What’s your best and worst habit?
    • How do you spend your free time?
    • What’s one skill you wish you had?
    • What’s your favorite type of cuisine?
    • What kind of music do you listen to?
    • What’s your most prized possession?
    • Do you like or dislike surprises? Why?
    • Are you happy with how you were raised?
    • Have you had any near-death experiences?
    • What’s the most trouble you’ve ever been in?
    • What’s your relationship to mental health like?
    • Are you closer to your mom or your dad? Why?
    • What’s one thing you’d change about the world?
    • Who in your life deserves the biggest thank you?
    • Do you think physical or emotional pain is worse?
    • What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
    • What’s the quickest way someone can lose your trust?
    • If given the opportunity, would you go to Mars and why?
    • If you won the lottery, what’s the first thing you would do?
    • Would you rather be the funniest or smartest person in the room?
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Section 4 of 9:

Deep Questions to Ask Your Partner

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  1. If you want to feel close to your partner and deepen your connection, ask about their communication style, relationship goals, and overall perspective on love. Matchmaker Erika Kaplan says it’s important to learn about “what you need in a relationship” since “people receive and give love in different ways.”
    • Why do you love me?
    • Do you want kids in the future?
    • Why do you think people cheat?
    • How would you define cheating?
    • Why did your last relationship end?
    • When do you feel closest to me and why?
    • What do you appreciate the most about me?
    • What do you think you are learning from me?
    • What do your friends and family think about me?
    • What do you fear the most about our relationship?
    • What’s one thing I can do to improve our relationship?
    • Do you think it’s okay to tell white lies in a relationship?
    • On a scale of 1-10, how open do you feel I am with you?
    • What is the pain in me you wish you could heal and why?
    • What is one experience you wish we never had and why?
    • What’s the biggest challenge in our relationship right now?
    • When’s the last time I hurt you, even if it was unintentionally?
    • If you could relive one day in our relationship, what would it be?
    • How do you think responsibilities should be divided in a marriage?
    • How long did it take for you to move on from your last relationship?
    • What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned from your previous relationships?
    • Are there any insecurities from previous relationships that you carried into this one?
    • What’s a sacrifice you feel you’ve made that I haven’t acknowledged and why do you think that is?
Section 5 of 9:

Deep Questions to Ask Your Crush

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  1. Ask deep questions to express interest and see if you’re a good match. Trying to let someone know you’re interested in them ? Ask about their green flags, non-negotiables, and their idea of the perfect date to see if you vibe with them. By exploring their dating preferences, you can get to know them better and see if they’re the right person for you!
    • What’s on your bucket list?
    • What’s your death row meal?
    • Do you regret dating anyone?
    • What’s your biggest pet peeve?
    • Do you have any hidden talents?
    • Have you ever ghosted anybody?
    • What motivates you to work hard?
    • How many people have you dated?
    • What’s your idea of the perfect date?
    • Have you ever cheated on someone?
    • Who would you call in an emergency?
    • What would your perfect day look like?
    • What’s the last spontaneous thing you did?
    • What’s one thing no one knows about you?
    • What’s one topic you could write a book on?
    • What’s the best decision you’ve ever made?
    • What’s the biggest misconception about you?
    • What’s your favorite memory of the two of us?
    • What are your non-negotiables in a relationship?
    • Do you think physical or emotional cheating is worse?
    • What are your green flags in a relationship? Red flags?
    • How much personal space do you need in a relationship?
    • What was your first impression of me and how has that changed over time?
    • Would you rather be cheated on and never know, or cheat and have your partner find out?
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Section 6 of 9:

Deep Questions to Get to Know Someone Better

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  1. If you want to connect with someone on a deeper level, touch on meaningful topics that move beyond the surface. Asking someone about their dreams, fears, and values is the one of the best ways to increase intimacy in any relationship. But, if the other person doesn’t feel comfortable, dating coach and matchmaker Laura Bilotta says to “respect their boundaries and move on to the next question.”
    • What’s your greatest fear?
    • How do you handle conflict?
    • Are you spiritual or religious?
    • Are you close to your family?
    • What’s your idea of success?
    • When do you feel the safest?
    • What are you most grateful for?
    • What are you the most proud of?
    • What’s your favorite way to unwind?
    • How have you changed in the past year?
    • What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?
    • What are 3 things you love about yourself?
    • How do you set boundaries with someone?
    • What do you miss most about being a child?
    • What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
    • What goal are you working toward right now?
    • How would you describe yourself in 3 words?
    • What kind of person were you in high school?
    • Do you genuinely think you’re a good person?
    • What did you want to be when you were a child?
    • How and why did you choose your current position?
    • What’s one thing you would change about yourself?
    • What book or film made a lasting impression on you?
    • Do you daydream a lot or stay in the present moment?
    • What are your hobbies and how did you get into them?
Section 7 of 9:

Deep Questions to Ask About Love

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  1. Spark a deep conversation about love to strengthen your relationship. Love is one of the best topics to prompt a meaningful and insightful discussion, whether you’re talking to your friend, partner, or crush. Here are some thought-provoking questions about what it means to truly love someone:
    • What’s your love language?
    • What makes you feel loved?
    • Have you ever been in love?
    • What’s your definition of love?
    • Do you believe in love at first sight?
    • What about you feels hardest to love?
    • Can you be in love and still feel lonely?
    • How would you describe falling in love?
    • Do you believe in soulmates or twin flames?
    • What do you love most about our relationship?
    • What’s the craziest thing you’ve done for love?
    • Do you think that teenagers really know what love is?
    • Do you think unconditional love is real or just an ideal?
    • How has your idea of love changed since you’ve grown?
    • Would you ever give up career goals or dreams for love?
    • How do I show you that I love you without you telling me?
    • If you could only love or be loved, which one would you choose?
    • What do you think is the key to a healthy and loving relationship?
    • How have your parents impacted your views on love and relationship?
    • Do you instantly know you’re in love with someone or do they grow on you?
    • What’s the difference between loving someone and being in love with them?
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Section 8 of 9:

Deep Questions to Ask About Life

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  1. Everyone has a unique worldview and perspective on life, which often leads to a meaningful conversation. Ask your loved one these philosophical questions to gain greater insight into their mind, and connect with them on a deeper level:
    • Are you afraid to die?
    • When do you feel most alive?
    • Can people ever really change?
    • Do you think about death often?
    • What’s your biggest dream in life?
    • Do you believe in second chances?
    • Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
    • Do you believe in luck, fate, or destiny?
    • Do you think a person can be born evil?
    • What’s your biggest regret in life so far?
    • What do you think is the purpose of life?
    • Do you think money can buy happiness?
    • What do you think happens after you die?
    • What has become clearer to you with age?
    • Do you believe there’s life on other planets?
    • Do you think everyone has a purpose in life?
    • What do you believe in that others might not?
    • Has social media improved or impaired society?
    • What do you want people to say in your eulogy?
    • What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned in life?
    • Would you rather have more time or more money?
    • What core values guide your actions and decisions?
    • How do you handle life’s challenges and uncertainties?
    • Would you rather save 100 strangers or one loved one?
    • Is it important to forgive people who have wronged you?
    • Do you believe there’s anything worth killing or dying for?
    • Would you rather find true love or win 100 million dollars?
    • What event in your life has shaped you most as a person?
    • Do you have an easy or difficult time letting go of the past?
    • If you only had one day left to live, how would you spend it?
    • What’s one thing you would do if you knew you could not fail?
    • What’s something you’re choosing to ignore in your life right now?
    • Would you rather be able to look into the future or change the past?
    • Do you have a personal philosophy that shapes your outlook on life?
    • If you could solve any world problem, which one would it be and why?
    • Would you rather know the cause of your death or the date of your death?
    • Of all the people you’ve lost, which death shook you the hardest and why?
    • If you could go back and change one decision in your life, what would it be?
    • If you had to relive the same day over and over, which day would it be and why?
Section 9 of 9:

How to Ask Deep Questions & Connect with Others

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  1. Practice active listening . When it comes to deepening your connection with someone, it’s important to give them your undivided attention during conversation. Put your phone away, maintain eye contact when they speak, and follow up with an engaging question to make them feel valued. According to certified leadership and life coach Christina Stathopoulos, you should “really listen to what they’re saying,” instead of “planning what you want to say next.”
  2. People are more likely to open up to you when they feel safe and secure, so keep an open mind when you talk to them and express interest in their responses. Remember, everyone has different experiences and viewpoints, and approaching the conversation with an open heart can help foster a warm, meaningful exchange. [2]
  3. If you want to strengthen the bond in your relationship , you need to ask meaningful questions—and prepare to do the same! You can’t expect someone to open up if you’re not willing to reciprocate, so make sure to participate in the conversation and provide more personal information about yourself.
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      • Before asking deep questions, you might want to discuss what topics are off-limits, such as personal traumas, past relationships, or family dynamics. If the other person doesn’t feel comfortable with a question, respect their boundaries and move on.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/relations/25-questions-to-get-to-know-someone-deeply/
      2. ↑ https://www.calm.com/blog/questions-to-ask-to-get-to-know-someone

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