What Is Dry Texting? Plus, How to Deal With It

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Learn why people dry text and how to avoid dry texting yourself
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Receiving dry texts from someone can be disappointing and frustrating. Luckily, dealing with dry texters is a simple, straightforward process. In this article, we explain how to respond to dry texters , why they do it , and more, all with the help of professional dating coaches. Ready? Let’s read on.

What Dry Texting Means & Why People Do It

Dry texting is when someone sends brief, seemingly uninterested texts, like one-word responses, single emojis, and single-letter responses. Reasons for dry texting vary depending on the situation, but common reasons include disinterest, a lack of awareness about text etiquette, or a dislike of texting in general.

Section 1 of 5:

What's dry texting?

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  1. Dry texting is short, spaced-out texting without much substance. Have you ever gotten super minimal texts like “k,” “cool,” “👍, “nice,” or “wow”? Those are dry texts. Dry texting is characterized by one-word responses, long reply times, and awkward, hard-to-hold conversations that don’t often lead anywhere (besides making you want to pull your hair out). Dry, low-effort texting can be frustrating or hurtful for people on the receiving end, as they may feel like an annoyance or nuisance. [1]
    • Common signs of dry texting include:
      • Responding with just an emoji or one word.
      • Downplaying shared content or ignoring it entirely.
      • Leaving you on read.
      • Taking hours or days to respond.
      • Never asking follow-up questions or contributing to the conversation.
      • Never trying to get to know you.
      • Using poor (or no) punctuation.

    Meet the wikiHow Experts

    Julianne Cantarella is a Dating & Relationship Coach with over a decade of experience.

    Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking with over 15 years of experience.

    Lauren Sanders is a Matchmaker & Dating Coach who specializes in helping single people find love.

    Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach who specializes in matchmaking and 1-on-1 coaching.

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Section 2 of 5:

How to Respond to Dry Texts

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  1. 1
    Keep your texts casual on dating apps. Some people are naturally dry texters, but that doesn’t mean you have to be. Dating success coach Joshua Pompey says when you’re dealing with a dry texter before the first date, the goal is “to stay in their phones to an extent without being overbearing or clingy or coming on too strong.” He suggests keeping up “some casual text every other day or every couple days prior to meeting the person just so that you’re still in their mind.” [2]
    • Example: “Hey, I hope you’ve been having a good week so far! Looking forward to our date on Friday :)”
    • Example: “Hey hey! What ya been up to today?”
  2. 2
    Bring up mutual interests to spark conversation. Matchmaker & dating coach Lauren Sanders says one of the most popular ways to revive a dead conversation is “to message the person about a popular current event. Particularly if it’s involving an interest you both share.” For example, if there’s a celebrity you both admired who passed, send a quick text to get the convo rolling. [3]
    • Example: “Olivia Rodrigo is gonna be in town next month! Are you going to the show?”
    • Let's say you’re both fans of Jujutsu Kaisen. Text them about the new season 3 trailer and what you're most excited about. For example:
      • “Did you see that new JJK season 3 trailer? It looks crazy! The Naoya and Maki fight is going to be so awesome xD!”
  3. 3
    Avoid double or triple texting if the dry texting doesn’t change. Double and triple texting a dry texter may overwhelm them or make them feel like you’re getting too close for comfort, so try to minimize texting and focus on in-person conversations instead. Use texting to set up in-person plans, then once you’re together, feel free to talk their ear off.
    • Example: “Hey, want to do lunch next week? I’d love to catch up!”
    • Example: “Wanna hang this weekend? I’d love to catch up with ya :)”
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Section 3 of 5:

How to Address Dry Texting

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  1. 1
    If you're worried or curious, don't be afraid to bring it up. Dry texting can be nerve-racking if you’re someone who frequently texts and keeps the conversation going, and that’s okay! If you’re worried about why the person you’re texting doesn’t text a lot, reach out to them and ask why they aren’t the texting type. As long as you’re kind and polite, chances are they’ll have no problem explaining why. If you’re having trouble coming up with what to say, try these examples:
    • “Is there any particular reason why you’re a dry texter? I’m just curious!”
    • '“Hey, I don’t mean to come off as pushy or anything, but I was wondering why you’re such a dry texter 😂 There’s nothing wrong with it! I’m just curious lol!”
    • “You take pretty long to respond. Any reason?”
    • “Sooo, you must not be on your phone much, huh?”
    • Try not to expect them to text you at all times. Brace yourself for long response times and avoid getting upset at them for how long they take.
  2. 2
    If a friend or loved one is dry texting, ask if they’re okay. When a friend, significant other, or loved one starts dry texting when they usually don’t, it may be a sign that they’re upset with you, dealing with something personal, or going through a hardship. In this case, the best thing to do is to kindly ask if they are okay and let them know that you’re there for them if they need anything. For example:
    • “Hey, I noticed you’ve been a little distant lately. Is everything okay? Just want to check in ❤️‍🩹”
    • “Hey, are you okay? You’ve been really short in your texts lately.”
  3. 3
    If they’re showing signs of disinterest, move on. Dating & relationship coach Julianne Cantarella says when the person you’re texting gives you signs that they aren’t interested, like being disengaged from the conversation, avoiding communication, and not treating you like a priority, “move on and give someone else a chance.” [4] You deserve someone who communicates! You don't necessarily have to announce this, but you could also send a quick text to let them know. For example:
    • “Hey, I don’t mean to come off as rude, but I don’t think I can handle your low-effort texting style. Nothing personal, I just wanted to let you know.”
    • “Communication is really important to me and it seems like you feel otherwise, which doesn't work for me. Nothing personal, but Imma move on. Best of luck!”
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Section 4 of 5:

Why do people dry text?

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  1. 1
    They may not be interested in pursuing you. If the person you’re talking on a dating app used to respond quickly with lots of detail, emphasis, and emojis, but suddenly started dry texting and dragging their responses, it’s not a good sign. According to Pompey, “If the texting slows down dramatically, it’s a strong sign that they’re slowly progressing towards ghosting or ending things.” [5]
  2. 2
    They may be bored with the conversation. Being bored with the conversation doesn’t mean the person doesn’t like talking to you, there just may not be anything left to talk about, especially if you two are close friends or partners. When you get to know someone well, it’s easy for topics of conversation to become slim.
  3. 3
    They don’t know dry texting can be rude. Texting etiquette isn’t universal knowledge, and some folks dry text without realizing it’s rude. This doesn’t mean they have a problem with you or the conversation, they just may not be aware that it can come off as rude to respond with one-word answers or randomly cut off the conversation, especially if they’re the type to not be on their phone much.
  4. 4
    They don’t like being on their phone that much. There are lots of people who aren’t plugged into their phones. They may occasionally scroll on TikTok or clear out their notifications, but otherwise, they’re living their life. If you’re talking to someone who constantly has different things going on, like school, work, sports, or after-school activities, they may not be the type of person to be on their phone much, so there’s no need to worry about the dry texting.
  5. 5
    They prefer calling or face-to-face interactions. For some, calling and face-to-face interactions are better forms of communication. They may prefer hearing your voice and all of its inflections over typing away and staring at their phone’s blinding blue light for hours on end. That doesn’t mean they don’t want to talk to you. They just may not be the texting type!
  6. 6
    They may be busy or going through something. Sometimes, dry texting doesn’t have anything to do with you. The person may be upset about their school or work performance, or dealing with problems at home or with friends. It’s not that they don’t want to text you, they just have a lot on their plate right now.
    • If you two are close, letting them know that you’re there for them and offering support and comfort can help them feel better. [6]
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Section 5 of 5:

How to Not Be a Dry Texter

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  1. 1
    Avoid simple responses and focus on building conversation. Dating coach Imad Jbara says when someone texts you asking how you’re doing, avoid automatic responses like “fine,” as they can come off as boring and break down the conversation. [7] Instead, respond with something like, “I’m doing good, hbu?” Then, build the conversation from there. For example:
    • Your Friend: “I can’t complain too much. I woke up a little bit later than expected, but I still managed to make it to class, lol!”
    • You: “At least you were able to get a few extra minutes of sleep, haha! How late were you?”
  2. 2
    Respond to texts in a timely manner. One of the hallmarks of being a dry texter is taking forever to respond to someone. If you want to avoid being a dry texter, take some time out of your day to respond to texts sincerely. You don’t have to make texting people back your number one priority, especially if you aren’t the type of person to be on your phone much, but make an effort to respond within the day.
    • Not only does responding in a timely manner show that you’re willing to keep the conversation going, but it also shows that you’re interested, which can go a long way.
    • If a close friend or family member’s text is urgent or they seem like they need your help or advice, try to respond as soon as possible.
  3. 3
    Send some memes or jokes to keep the conversation fresh. Who doesn’t love to laugh? When you’re texting someone and are drawing a blank, even though you want to keep talking to them, send some funny memes or jokes that are relevant to the conversation or recent conversations you’ve had in the past. For example, if you and a friend talked about Love Island earlier in the week, send some Hurricane Huda memes to spice things up when the texts get dull.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/dry-texting-what-is-a-dry-text
      2. ↑ Joshua Pompey. Dating Success Coach. Expert Interview
      3. ↑ Lauren Sanders. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      4. ↑ [v161888_b04]. 6 Aug 2021.
      5. ↑ [v161888_b04]. 6 Aug 2021.
      6. ↑ https://www.arcadia.edu/life-arcadia/campus-life-resources/health-wellness/counseling-services/help-friend/
      7. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      8. ↑ Julianne Cantarella. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview

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