If you’ve done wrong Come clean Be open and honest about what you have done. Preface your confession by telling them how much you care about them and value your relationship. Provide enough details about any wrongdoing to show that you understand the breadth of your wrongdoing and take responsibility, but avoid sharing extraneous details with the intention of hurting them. Genuinely apologize Show your remorse with a thoughtful and thoroughly worded apology. Explain that you regret your wrongdoing and vow to never do it again. Be calm Your partner may be overwhelmed with emotions ranging from sadness to extreme anger. Avoid reacting in a way that will intensify these emotions. Be gentle and empathetic. Actively listen Show that you care about their thoughts and feelings about the situation. Ask for forgiveness It may be necessary to apologize multiple times, asking for their forgiveness shows them that you feel immense remorse about what you’ve done and don’t expect them to automatically forgive you. Practice open communication If you’ve done something wrong, it’s very likely that you did it because of something going on inside of you (having little to do with your partner). Be open about your past issues and let them know that you intend to work through them to be a better partner to them in the future. Go above and beyond If your partner does not forgive you, go above and beyond to show them that you are trustworthy by being fully transparent and open to their concerns. If you’ve been wronged Forgive Forgiveness is the first step to healing and shows that you’re willing to work on the relationship. Be patient and forgive them when you’re ready. Offering false forgiveness will only mask the deeper issues and hurt your relationship in the long run. Withholding forgiveness puts a wall up between you and your partner and obstructs building a healthy relationship. If your partner has done something seemingly unforgivable, reassess the relationship and consider whether it’s worth working on. Express yourself Use “I feel” statements to gently convey your emotions and how you were hurt by the actions that broke your trust. Ask questions Getting all of your questions answered by your partner will help you understand the breadth of the situation and set a tone of transparency moving forward. Share your needs Share exactly how your trust was broken and what needs to happen in order to rebuild it. Tell them what would make you feel comfortable and help them regain your trust without making demands or setting unrealistic expectations. For instance, do not demand to track their location at all times or require a phone call every hour. Talk with a professional or confidant Sharing your feelings out loud will help you see many sides of the situation, process your emotions, and give you some ideas of what your needs might be. Emotional processing is especially important to avoid letting your feelings swell into an even deeper emotional wound.