Give verbal cues you’re listening Active listening is validating in and of itself, so give them brief verbal responses to show that you’re fully engaged. Examples: “Yes… Uh-huh…I see…” “I hear you…” Display active listening with your body language These nonverbal cues will show them that you are interested and engaged. Examples: * Make eye contact * Turn your body toward them * Hold their hand * Rub their back * Put away or turn off all distractions (e.g., phone, computer, television) * Stop anything you’re doing (e.g., cleaning, cooking, folding laundry) Mirror their mood and energy level Matching their mental and physical state will help them feel understood and not alone. Examples: * If they’re energy is low and somber, avoid being overly peppy (even if you’re having a great day) and bring your energy to a neutral, serious state. * If they’re feeling worried and anxious, avoid trying to be overly animated in an attempt to distract them from their feelings. Instead, meet their emotions with a neutral grounded state. * If they’re feeling enthusiastic, bring your energy level up to theirs (even if you’ve had a bad day) to show that you’re happy for them. Ask clarifying questions Asking them to elaborate on their feelings will prompt them to fully get in touch with (and name) their feelings, which is empowering and makes them feel heard. Examples: “That sounds rough. How did that make you feel?” “What was your gut feeling when she said that?” Repeat their words back to them After they’ve said their piece, repeat their words back to them to make them feel heard and understood. Examples: “So what you’re saying is that you were upset when she didn’t congratulate you on your promotion.” “What I’m hearing is that you were frustrated when I didn’t ask for your input before planning the trip. Is that right?” Talk less, listen more Listening is a powerful tool when it comes to validating someone’s emotions. Even if you have some words of wisdom to share, it’s almost always better to let the other person talk and just get it out. So don’t interrupt, don’t interrupt—give them your ears and your full, compassionate attention. Examples: “I’m here for you.” “Yes… I understand…”