Share your feelings Your girlfriend cannot read your mind when your needs are not being met. Use “I” statements to be open and clear about any feelings you’re holding onto (especially ones that might affect your relationship) without blame or accusations. Example: “I feel upset when you don’t express interest in my hobbies and passions.” Express your needs Take time to think through what it is you need and find a gentle way to communicate that need. Try the sandwich method when expressing something that might be difficult for her to hear. Example: “You’re so bright and energetic--I love spending time with you. But I feel I need some time each week alone to re-energize so when we are together I can be just as excited and lively with you.” Be present with her Face her during conversations and make eye contact to show you are actively listening to her. Also, put away your phone and any other distractions to show that she has your full attention. Notice your body language Crossed arms and legs or facing away from a person are nonverbal signs of being closed off or detached. An open body gives the idea that you are present and interested. Make sure your body language matches your words. Notice your tone Any anger, sadness, or anxiety will likely come through in your voice. Even if you are angry, take time to decompress, and (when you’re ready) share your feelings in a soft, gentle tone. Check in with her Ask her how she’s feeling (especially in times of conflict) and actively listen to her response. Validate her emotions by rephrasing what she has told you in a compassionate and understanding way. Example: “I just feel so stressed all the time and nothing is helping!” “I hear you. Sounds like work is really draining you right now. How can I help ease some of your stress?”