Elvina Lui, MFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Elvina Lui is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Elvina received her Masters in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained under the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and the New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of counseling experience and is trained in the harm reduction model.

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Forum Comments (3)

How do I stop having feelings for my ex?
Everyone actually takes exactly enough time to grieve when they lose someone they love, but some of us are just surprised at how deep the loss was and therefore are surprised at how long it is taking. If you think to yourself, Why am I still sad? I didn't think this person meant so much to me , this tells you that that person actually did mean a lot to you. Maybe you thought this was the person who you were meant to be with, or maybe this person made you feel safe and feel loved more than you ever experienced before.

Keep in mind that it is a human tendency to hide weakness, so everyone pretends they healed and got over things fast. Do not gauge your speed against what you've seen in other people: you actually don't accurately know how long other people took to heal. For you to love deeply and feel deeply, you are braver than people who guard themselves. Who really would want a relationship so shallow and meaningless that it doesn't hurt much when it ends?
What exactly does "casual relationship" mean?
Regardless of how you define the terms, the important thing is to be open and honest about what you want to get out of a relationship; the tricky thing is sometimes you yourself might not be sure what you want. You might start out thinking you wanted something casual, but as time went by, your feelings could have grown stronger, and you changed to want a long-term relationship.

While it is a risk, it is healthier to be open about what you're looking for in a relationship rather than hiding your feelings and needs. It is common that people choose to hide their feelings because they want to avoid conflict and rejection at all costs, but doing this sabotages your chances at happiness, whether you're looking for a more serious relationship or want to keep it casual.
How do you ask a girl to be your girlfriend?
It is common that people choose to hide their feelings because they want to avoid conflict and rejection at all costs, but doing this sabotages your chances at happiness. If you want a serious relationship with this girl, you see something in her that opens your heart and feel like she's someone you could share your life with, then you need to take action instead of letting it slip through your fingers.

Co-authored Articles (41)

19 Tips to Spice Things up in the Bedroom

Expert advice to bring the magic back into your relationshipIf you’ve been with your partner for a while, it’s totally normal for that initial passion to wane over time. Fortunately, rekindling the heat in your relat...

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Know when Someone Likes You

Knowing whether or not someone likes you can be difficult. If you’re afraid to ask them, there are a few things you can look out for that may be signs the other person is into you.

How to Make a Man Feel Loved & Appreciated

20 thoughtful ways to make your man feel specialThe idea that it is a guy's job to make a woman feel special and not the other way around is ''very'' out of date. Today, it's normal for both partners to share affection i...

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Make a Cheating Boyfriend Feel Bad

Dealing with a cheating boyfriend can be one of the most infuriating things ever. He betrayed your trust and you may be so angry you could scream. But hold off a sec. There may be a better way to get back at him. To help...

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Get Your Partner to Be More Interested in Sex

Whether you are in an intimate relationship already and you want to rekindle your sex life, or you want to take the step to be physically intimate with your partner for the first time, this can be daunting to both of you...

What Does It Mean if Someone Puts Their Hands in Their Pockets?

Differentiate between confident and submissive body language Can something as innocuous as putting your hands in your pockets convey something about your confidence or headspace? Believe it or not, it can! Stuffing your ...

What to Do When Your Parents Disapprove of Your Relationship

When you're in love with someone, it's normal to want everyone around you to love that person, too—especially the people closest to you. Unfortunately, if it turns out that your parents don't like your partner, it can ...

How to

Date

The best ways to find, ask out, and date someone newDating can be a tricky business for anyone. Whether you’re shy and inexperienced or seasoned and outgoing, there are plenty of ways a pickup line or a first date can ...

8 Signs She Doesn’t Like You (& Why You’re Unpopular with Women)

Decode her behavior & discover what irks her mostSometimes, you get a strong gut feeling: ''It doesn't seem like she likes me...''While the best way to know for sure is to ask a girl directly, there are also tons of beha...

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Know if Someone Is Angry with You

Sometimes it’s obvious someone is angry with you: they might shout at you about something you did, or tell you flat-out that you’ve made them mad. But other times, it’s not so clear, and you might be left wondering...

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Keep Your Girlfriend Interested in You

You finally have a girlfriend and you think she's awesome—how exciting! But how can you be sure that she'll stay interested in you? Don't stress. With a little help, keeping your girlfriend satisfied is actually super ...

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Flirt With a Shy Girl

You are interested in a shy girl and want to flirt with her to test the waters but aren’t sure how to break the ice. You're not sure if she likes you, and it could be that she's too nervous or afraid to make the first ...

11+ Ways to Make Your Boyfriend Realize Your Importance and Worth

When you first started dating your boyfriend, he probably treated you like royalty. After some time, though, it can start to feel like he doesn’t appreciate you as much as he used to. Maybe he ignores you more than he ...

Does He Want a Serious Relationship? Use This Guide to Find Out

Read your man's mind and uncover his deepest desiresSo there's this guy. You're beginning to feel like things are getting serious, but there's just one problem: you don't know how he feels. How can you tell when a guy is...

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Know if You Are Ready for a Relationship

It can be hard to know if you're prepared and ready for a real and serious relationship. It's even harder if you just broke up with your ex, or are just starting dating. It is important to make sure you truly are ready b...

How to

Cope when Your Partner's Parents Dislike You

You’ve finally found the person of your dreams, but there’s just one problem: their parents don’t like you. Obviously, this can make things awkward at family functions and can even create issues for you and your pa...

How to

Deal with a Cheating Husband Spiritually

If you recently found out that your husband has been unfaithful, you're probably struggling with a lot of intense emotions, from anger and grief to confusion about what to do next. While there are no easy answers for how...

How to Regain Your Spouse's Trust After You've Had an Affair

Strengthen your marriage and move on from infidelity If you've had an affair, it can take a devastating toll on your spouse's trust in you. An affair doesn't have to mean the end of your marriage, however. With patience,...

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Have a Relationship with a Shy Girl

Having relationships with shy girls might seem daunting, but their quiet, mysterious nature actually makes them quite special! She might take longer to open up to you or feel comfortable around your friends and family, b...

How to

Know if a Person Is Getting Bored of You

What are the signs someone’s getting bored of you? Whether they’ve started texting you less, acting disinterested when you talk, or not wanting to hang out, that behavior can leave you wondering how they ''really'' f...
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