Renee Slansky
Dating Coach
Renee Slansky is a Dating, Relationship, and Life Coach based in Europe. Her business combines mindset and life coaching with love education. As a global dating advisor to several of the largest online publications and dating platforms in the world, Renee’s aim is to help people cultivate strong, healthy relationships. In addition to offering one-on-one coaching services, Renee has produced courses to help both men and women gain clarity, confidence, and direction with their love life and relationships. Renee has contributed her expertise to multiple publications, including the Huffington Post, The Good Men Project, Your Tango, Yahoo 7, Bustle, Marriage.com and Elite Daily. Renee’s methods are practical, down-to-earth, and aimed at helping her clients get sustainable results while finding love.
Professional Achievements
- Founder of the #1 dating and relationship blog in Australia and one of the top 30 relationship blogs worldwide
- Recognized dating and relationship expert since 2013
- Dating advisor to eHarmony, Plenty of Fish and RSVP.com
- Collaborated with multiple dating apps, including Happn, Flirtini, and Dating.com
- Has coached over 500 women
- Created a YouTube channel that has reached millions worldwide with its viral videos and 105K subscribers
- Love expert on morning TV breakfast shows, popular radio stations, and featured on networks such as ABC and SBS
Favorite Piece of Advice
There are only two reasons why relationships fail: doing the wrong thing or dating the wrong person. When you enter into a commitment, these failings can become magnified. The greatest indication that you have a healthy relationship is having peace and progress.
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Forum Comments (9)
How do you flirt over text? I'm so bad at it
Keep it light and keep it fun. Don't go into seduction mode — this could come across really cheesy or too sexual. Try keeping it light and flirty but intelligent at the same time.
If you're a woman texting a guy, this means you're not saying silly things, but you're texting witty comments. These are comments that don't necessarily poke fun at your partner, but comments that show that you're not going to back down, that you're going to hold your ground on a conversation.
If you are a guy and you're texting a woman, try complimenting her, but not to a point where she feels like you're making too much of a focus about her appearance. Follow up compliments with questions about getting to know her, then use the information you learn as a little joke. For instance, if she says, “I'm a little bit of a grandma. I get cold and I don't want to go outside usually in winter,” then you could flip back and say, “Well, good thing about that is I know how to knit. Can I knit you a scarf one day?”
There are always little key points like this that you can pick up on and then use to turn texting into flirty conversation.
If you're a woman texting a guy, this means you're not saying silly things, but you're texting witty comments. These are comments that don't necessarily poke fun at your partner, but comments that show that you're not going to back down, that you're going to hold your ground on a conversation.
If you are a guy and you're texting a woman, try complimenting her, but not to a point where she feels like you're making too much of a focus about her appearance. Follow up compliments with questions about getting to know her, then use the information you learn as a little joke. For instance, if she says, “I'm a little bit of a grandma. I get cold and I don't want to go outside usually in winter,” then you could flip back and say, “Well, good thing about that is I know how to knit. Can I knit you a scarf one day?”
There are always little key points like this that you can pick up on and then use to turn texting into flirty conversation.
Does my crush like me or not?
Generally, if your crush likes you, they will find an excuse to talk to you or to be near you. Let's say you're in the gym — if there are 50 treadmills and they decide to use one close to you, that's often a sign that they like you. They may also smile at you, walk close to you, or say hello. They'll likely make excuses to be able to have some sort of interaction or conversation with you.
Should I ask out my crush? Should I get to know him better first?
If you have a crush on someone, I say absolutely ask them out.
If you're considering boldly asking someone you don't know well, make sure to create some sort of connection first. I recommend making eye contact to see if there's any sort of reciprocation of interest!
The rule for eye contact is that you should hold it for three seconds, then you look away. If they aren't able to hold it for three seconds, then chances are they are not on the same level as you. You can also try smiling and proximity. Move a little bit closer to them and see how they change. If their body language is starting to turn towards you, or they smile, those are good signs!
As a female, you can get a guy to respond to you by asking him for help. Ask him something like, “Can you lift that weight for me?” or “Can you help me with that?” If you're at a coffee shop and you see a guy, you might say, “Oh, are you able to just help me on my computer? I'm just stuck a little bit here.” A scenario where you can ask for help switches you into feminine mode and switches him into masculine mode, which encourages connection in traditional heterosexual attraction.
In your case, I'd see if you can pick up on any signals of interest. If these signs are there, shoot your shot! If not, focus on building a connection first.
If you're considering boldly asking someone you don't know well, make sure to create some sort of connection first. I recommend making eye contact to see if there's any sort of reciprocation of interest!
The rule for eye contact is that you should hold it for three seconds, then you look away. If they aren't able to hold it for three seconds, then chances are they are not on the same level as you. You can also try smiling and proximity. Move a little bit closer to them and see how they change. If their body language is starting to turn towards you, or they smile, those are good signs!
As a female, you can get a guy to respond to you by asking him for help. Ask him something like, “Can you lift that weight for me?” or “Can you help me with that?” If you're at a coffee shop and you see a guy, you might say, “Oh, are you able to just help me on my computer? I'm just stuck a little bit here.” A scenario where you can ask for help switches you into feminine mode and switches him into masculine mode, which encourages connection in traditional heterosexual attraction.
In your case, I'd see if you can pick up on any signals of interest. If these signs are there, shoot your shot! If not, focus on building a connection first.
What should I do if my partner acts clingy?
I think the first thing you need to do is put a little bit of space between them and you because if you lash out and verbally say, “Oh, you're too clingy with me,” it could have the wrong effect. Having some physical space or being extra busy
will give them a moment to focus on themselves rather than on you.
Communicating now by saying, “Oh, you're too clingy,” might be a little bit hard depending on the person that you're with. You could say it in an alternate method that I came up with, which is Affirm, Explain, Example, Ask.
First, Affirm would be, “I love having our time together. I love when we do things together,” so it’s starting on a positive note, and you're not dissing the whole relationship or the amount of attention and time that they're giving you. The last thing you want them to do is completely pull back from you and just have this void between you.
Then, Explain by giving an example of the sort of behavior they're doing now and why you're not loving it as much . “I noticed the other day that you called me 15 times when I was out with the girls, and I really felt that it was too much because it made me feel that you didn't trust me. If you do call me, don't call me 15 times because it makes me want to stay out a little longer.”
Finally, Ask , “Is that something that you can understand?”. You're posing the question to them instead of attacking them or pointing the finger at them and putting them down. That's probably the easiest way to handle any conflict in any relationship.
Communicating now by saying, “Oh, you're too clingy,” might be a little bit hard depending on the person that you're with. You could say it in an alternate method that I came up with, which is Affirm, Explain, Example, Ask.
First, Affirm would be, “I love having our time together. I love when we do things together,” so it’s starting on a positive note, and you're not dissing the whole relationship or the amount of attention and time that they're giving you. The last thing you want them to do is completely pull back from you and just have this void between you.
Then, Explain by giving an example of the sort of behavior they're doing now and why you're not loving it as much . “I noticed the other day that you called me 15 times when I was out with the girls, and I really felt that it was too much because it made me feel that you didn't trust me. If you do call me, don't call me 15 times because it makes me want to stay out a little longer.”
Finally, Ask , “Is that something that you can understand?”. You're posing the question to them instead of attacking them or pointing the finger at them and putting them down. That's probably the easiest way to handle any conflict in any relationship.
How do you tell if someone on Tinder is a scammer?
Most of the time, they will ask for money straight up
. It'll be something that'll happen within the first couple of conversations.
You can do a reverse Google search on their image and work out if they are stealing pictures. My husband dealt with the experience of having his photos stolen and used, and he was able to use reverse image search to find the account(s) his images were linked to so he could block them.
There will also be red flags where things will probably sound too good to be true, things don't seem to add up, there is inconsistency in their conversation, or there will be love bombing . Love bombing is when they're too full-on, and it's just too good to be true. They're either going to scam you, or they're just a toxic person, in general. It's not ideal to go on a date with them.
You can do a reverse Google search on their image and work out if they are stealing pictures. My husband dealt with the experience of having his photos stolen and used, and he was able to use reverse image search to find the account(s) his images were linked to so he could block them.
There will also be red flags where things will probably sound too good to be true, things don't seem to add up, there is inconsistency in their conversation, or there will be love bombing . Love bombing is when they're too full-on, and it's just too good to be true. They're either going to scam you, or they're just a toxic person, in general. It's not ideal to go on a date with them.
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