How to Have a Sensual Kiss: Techniques, Positions, and More

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Create a safe, seductive smooching experience for you and your boo
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From your first kiss to your thousandth kiss, kissing leaves a lasting impression, especially one that arouses deep emotion and feeling -- the sensual kiss. Through kissing, you can light the spark between you and your partner, and we’re here to teach you how. With the help of two dating and relationship coaches, we walk you through how to have a sensual kiss with someone. Read on to learn how to prepare for the kiss and make sure it goes well.

How to Give a Sexy Kiss to Someone

Make sure you’re clean and that you and your breath smell good. Tell your wants and needs for kissing to your partner and make sure they consent. Look into their eyes, lean in, tilt your head, make sure they’re doing the same, and lock lips. Start with a gentle, slow kiss before ramping things up to French kissing.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Preparing For the Kiss

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  1. If you're going to be getting up close and personal with your partner, make sure your mouth, face, and body are clean so you’re more enticing to them. While everyone may have their own particular grooming routine (your go-to mints, that special vanilla-scented perfume, that musky cologne), the basics of good grooming include:
    • Brushing your teeth: No one enjoys inhaling the onion and garlic aftertaste of your lunch or your stale morning breath. [1] Before you approach your partner for a kiss, brush your teeth to keep your breath fresh and pleasant.
    • Washing and cleaning your face: Developing a skincare routine that involves regularly cleaning your face will make kissing a whole lot more appealing. Regardless of whether you have whiskers or a clean face, keep it clean and appealing to your partner.
    • Wearing clean clothes: Wear clean clothes and avoid clothing with spikes, sharp metal, or details that will get in the way of sensual enjoyment.
    • Applying cologne or perfume: Apply a little bit of cologne or perfume to your body to make sure you smell good. It can be a huge turn-on!
  2. Don't be shy about telling your partner what you like or asking what they prefer when it comes to the kiss. Rather than feel embarrassed about talking about your kissing dos and don'ts, communicate with each other to ensure you both have an enjoyable time. Be sure to discuss your preferences before you go in for a kiss, not during the kiss, so your partner doesn't take your comments as a rebuke. [2]
    • Dating and relationship coach Maya Diamond says to only kiss a person if you genuinely want to kiss them. If they try to kiss you and you don’t want to yet, say “I would love to, but I’m not ready for that yet.” [3]
    • To hint that you want to kiss them, dating coach Eddy Baller says to stare into their eyes, smile, and let butterflies form in your stomach. People tend to mirror each other in these situations, so it should evoke the same feelings in the other person. [4]
    • Diamond also advises to ask yourself if it’s appropriate to kiss this person. Observe the chemistry and connection, how they respond to you when you talk, touch, or flirt with them, and use those observations to determine whether or not kissing them is appropriate. [5]
    • According to Diamond, many women who do online dating don’t want to kiss on the first date if they don’t know you, so that’s something to keep in mind. [6]
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  3. Create a private and romantic setting for you and your partner, like an intimate dinner at home or a beautiful view in a park. Consider if your partner has mentioned a special spot or location they enjoy spending time in, and if it's an appropriate place for an intimate moment, suggest going there or bring them there. A comfortable, romantic mood will set the stage for a great, sensual kiss. [7]
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Initiating the Sensual Kiss

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  1. According to Baller, physical interaction like hand-holding or cuddling before you kiss can work as icebreakers and will indicate to your partner that you are interested in some lip action. [8] Don’t be afraid to rub their thigh or waist, just make sure they’re cool with it.
    • If you reach for her and she immediately pulls back or closes off, that’s a sign that she doesn’t want you to touch her.
  2. Baller says that when you’re starting the kiss, lean in, put your hands on their hips, or grab their hand and pull them in. Engage in eye contact and make sure they’re also leaning into you to ensure you are both consenting to a kiss. [9]
    • A good rule is to always close your eyes when you kiss, as your pupils will be dilated and it may appear a bit creepy or weird to your partner if you keep your eyes open. [10]
    • According to Baller, when someone wants to kiss you, they’ll look at your eyes and lips and smile a lot. [11]
  3. About 95% of the time, your partner will tilt their head to the right. If you can't tell which way your partner's head is going to tilt, go right to be safe. [12] Regardless, if your partner is starting to tilt in one direction, go the opposite way so your noses don't collide before your lips do.
    • If you make a miscalculation and tilt the same way as your partner, or miss their mouth completely as your eyes are closed as you lean in, laugh it off and keep going.
    • Baller says bad kisses usually involve bumping into each other, not locking your lips together, and a lack of synergy. [13]
    • A certain level of awkwardness can lead to a great, memorable kiss, so don’t be afraid of a small mistake! [14]
  4. Many women think the biggest mistake men make when they kiss is being too aggressive with their tongues. [15] According to Diamond, really aggressive kissing isn’t good. In fact, pushing your tongue down your partner’s throat can be really overwhelming for them. [16]
    • Try to find the sweet spot between an open mouth (not too wide, like you're about to eat a plate of pasta) and a gentle kiss (not a big smack or with too much tongue).
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Part 3
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Making the Kiss More Sensual

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  1. Now that your lips are connecting, apply a little pressure to your partner's lips. You can kiss them a bit faster and a bit deeper. If by this point your partner is very responsive to the kiss, you can begin to French kiss , which is just a fancy way of using your tongue as you kiss.
    • To French kiss, relax your tongue and move it against your partner's tongue in a calm, languid way, like licking an ice cream tongue. Avoid a totally limp or stiff tongue, and don’t aggressively stick your tongue in your partner's mouth. [17]
    • To bring a kiss from good to great, Baller says to match your partner’s movements and avoid doing things that are uncomfortable or awkward. [18]
  2. One of the most important aspects of creating a sensual kiss is switching up where you kiss your partner. [19] Baller says to try kissing different parts of their face, paying special attention to the ears and neck. [20] Softly bite on their lower lip or nibble gently on their earlobe. [21] And
    • If you are sensually kissing a consistent partner, change up where you kiss them so your intimate moments don't feel mechanical or repetitive. [22]
  3. Kissing isn't just limited to your lips, so consider your posture and body position as you kiss. Press your body against your partner's and use your hands to gently stroke or touch their neck, back, waist, and butt. Once you’ve engaged in relaxed, gentle physical moves, you could escalate to straddling your partner, or lying down to face each other as you kiss.
    • As the kiss becomes more sensual, always listen and tune into your partner. Pay attention to their breathing, body language, and lip movements to gauge if they are enjoying the kiss and want to escalate further. [23]
  4. Don't fall off the kissing train, especially once the early stages of your relationship have passed or the honeymoon period fades. Often, people in a long-term relationship stop kissing and lose that intimate, sensual connection. [24]
    • The intensity and emotion of your early kissing can become even more passionate as you get to know your partner better, and the communication between you two becomes stronger and more upfront. Practice makes perfect.
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Join the Discussion...

How do you kiss passionately?
wikiHow Editorial Team
Try these tips for a passionate, swoonworthy kiss:
  • Part your lips while you're kissing and don't be afraid to use some tongue.
  • Use your hands to pull your partner close, play with their hair, and explore their body.
  • Kiss your partner's neck.
  • Try nibbling gently on their lower lip.
  • Stay focused on your partner and don't let anything distract you!
One of our readers also shared this pro tip: "Next time you're kissing and standing up, use the nearest wall. Gently guide your partner to the wall and push them up against it in a playful and friendly way. This will drive most people absolutely nuts!"
Read Discussion

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do I kiss someone passionately?
    Eddy Baller
    Dating Coach
    Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.
    Eddy Baller
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Vary where you kiss them to keep it interesting. Try kissing their neck, cheek, or ear.
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    Not Helpful 15 Helpful 43
  • Question
    How do I start tongue kissing?
    Eddy Baller
    Dating Coach
    Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.
    Eddy Baller
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Take it slow while you're first starting off. If your partner initiates tongue kissing, follow along with them.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      Tips

      • A great sensual kiss can lead to a make-out session, where you and your partner try to get as intimate as possible while kissing. This is the most intense form of kissing, and it can last for a very long time. [25]
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      • There is no right way to kiss! Regardless of how you kiss, you should feel the emotion and passion from your partner. Remember: A great kiss is an adventure in itself, not a stepping stone to something else. [26]
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      • Tugging your partner's hair and being more aggressive towards their body should only occur if your partner agrees to it and is aware you are going to engage in more physical actions as you kiss.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.rookiemag.com/2013/04/kissing-complete-guide/3/
      2. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/kissing-tips-and-benefits
      3. ↑ Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
      4. ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
      5. ↑ Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
      6. ↑ Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
      7. ↑ http://time.com/2800319/how-to-be-a-good-kisser-10-tips-from-scientific-research/
      8. ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
      9. ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
      1. ↑ https://www.rookiemag.com/2013/04/kissing-complete-guide/2/
      2. ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
      3. ↑ https://www.rookiemag.com/2013/04/kissing-complete-guide/2/
      4. ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
      5. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/kissing-tips-and-benefits
      6. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/kissing-tips-and-benefits
      7. ↑ Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
      8. ↑ https://www.rookiemag.com/2013/04/kissing-complete-guide/2/
      9. ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
      10. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/kissing-tips-and-benefits
      11. ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
      12. ↑ https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/types-of-kisses
      13. ↑ http://time.com/2800319/how-to-be-a-good-kisser-10-tips-from-scientific-research/
      14. ↑ http://time.com/2800319/how-to-be-a-good-kisser-10-tips-from-scientific-research/
      15. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/kissing-tips-and-benefits?page=2
      16. ↑ https://www.rookiemag.com/2013/04/kissing-complete-guide/2/
      17. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/kissing-tips-and-benefits

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      If you want to kick your makeout session up a notch by using tongue, first you’ll need to initiate a kiss. When you’re alone with your partner, get close to them and look into their eyes to show them you’re in the mood. If they’re not getting the hint, try glancing down at their lips for a second to make it extra clear. If they give you a flirty look back, go in for the kiss. Lean in closer to them, tilt your head so you don’t bump noses, and gently press your lips into theirs. Be gentle at first and hold off on the tongue for now—French kissing is way better when you build up to it! After a few tongueless kisses, then try using a little bit of tongue. Remember that less is more when it comes to French kissing. Start by touching the tip of your tongue to the tip of theirs. If they start using their tongue too, that’s a sign they’re into it. In that case, try using a little more tongue. Open your mouth some more and run your tongue over theirs. Try running your tongue over the inside of their lips. Swirl the tip of your tongue around the tip of theirs. Keep your tongue moving and try to find a rhythm with your partner. The key is to always be gentle—no one likes to have an unexpected tongue pushed into their mouth! Remember to breathe occasionally too. Just pull back gently for a moment and look into your partner’s eyes before you get back to it. If you and your partner are comfortable, use your hands. Caress their back, hold their face, or place a hand on their leg. If your first time kissing with tongue doesn't go perfectly, don't sweat it. You and your partner can have fun practicing. To learn more about kissing sensually, like how to move your tongue, read on!

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