How to Convince Your Parents

Co-authored by Desiree Panlilio

Last Updated: July 16, 2024

We’ve all been there: there’s something that you want more than anything, but you’ve got to find a way to get your parents to agree to it. Whether it’s a new pair of shoes, a car, or a trip somewhere, convincing your parents not be as impossible as you might think. There are some tips and tricks you can use to ask them the right way. To make it easier for you, we’ve put together a helpful list you can follow to get your parents on board.

Things You Should Know

To make your parents more likely to help, first do something kind for them and let them know you appreciate all they do.
Clearly explain the benefits of your idea and be prepared to answer your parents' questions.
To help convince them further, explain that your parents don't have to answer right away and compare your solution to something else that they wouldn't be as happy with.
Understand if they cannot do it due to financial, business, or other reasons.

1

Find out more details about what you want.

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Being knowledgeable on the topic shows them you’re serious. No matter what you’re asking for from your parents, you can expect them to want to know more about it before they agree to it. Spend some time looking into everything about what you want so you can explain the pros and cons. It can go a long way in helping to convince them.
- For instance, if you want to convince your parents to let you join your school’s basketball team, look into the benefits of physical activity, the social benefits of playing on a team, and opportunities for scholarships.

2

Anticipate their questions so you have answers ready.

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Be ready to respond to any doubts or concerns they may have. Think about what possible questions your parents may have for you so you can prepare for them. Come up with solid answers to their potential questions. That way, if and when they do ask you, you have a great response ready to go.
- For instance, if you’re trying to convince your parents to get you a skateboard, they’ll probably ask things like, “How much do they cost?” and “Aren’t they dangerous?” Prepare answers like, “The skateboard I’d like to get is $100 and I plan to wear a helmet and knee pads so I don’t get hurt.”
- If you want to take a beach trip with your friends, you can expect them to ask, “How will you get there?” and “Where will you stay?” Be ready to answer with things like, “We’re staying with Jack’s parents and they’re going to drive us.”

3

Do something nice for your parents first.

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Get on your parents’ good side before you approach them. Do some chores in the morning and offer to help them out with something. Find ways you can be helpful so they’re already happy with you and may be more likely to agree to something when you ask them. ^{[1]
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- For example, vacuum your home, clean your kitchen in the morning, and offer to make them coffee. Don’t make it too obvious or it may not seem genuine, but do something nice for them.

4

Start up a normal conversation when you’re ready to ask.

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Resist the urge to jump straight into asking them for something. Talk about things going on in your life and ask them about their day. Show them that you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say by simply talking to them.
- For example, ask your parents about their day at work and if they have anything they want to do over the weekend. They’ll likely ask you about any plans that you have, so you can just be open and talk about what’s going on in your life. Don’t stress about having to ask them for something. Just relax and let the conversation flow.

5

Show your parents that you appreciate everything they do for you.

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Express your gratitude before you ask them. When you’re getting to the point where you feel like you can ask your parents for something, take a moment to talk about how grateful you are for them. It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic or over the top. Just a sincere expression of gratitude can go a long way and set the stage for you to ask them for something. ^{[2]
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- Saying something simple like, “You know, I really appreciate everything you guys do for me,” can make a big difference before you ask for something.

6

Tell your parents they don’t have to say yes or no right now.

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You can start big requests by asking for a delayed response. If you need to convince your parents of something major, like a long trip or a really expensive item, your best bet is to give them time. Just before you ask them, tell them that they can take their time to think about it before they respond. ^{[3]
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- For instance, if you’re trying to convince your parents to get you a car, say something like, “You don't have to answer me now, but I do want to ask you about something.”
- If you think they'll probably say no, asking for a delayed response might work in your favor. If they have some time to think things over, they may come around to the idea!

7

Ask them for what you want clearly and directly.

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Get right to the point when the time is right so there isn’t any confusion. Just be direct and tell your parents exactly what it is that you want. They may agree right away or they may need some more convincing. But either way, you’ve made it clear what it is that you want.
- For example, if you’re trying to convince your parents to get you a guitar and take lessons, say something like, “I really want to learn how to play guitar, but I need an instrument and I need to learn how.”

8

Explain the benefits of what you’re asking for.

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Tell your parents why you want it and what it can do for you. Talk about how excited you are and how happy it would make you for your parents to agree to your request. Go over all of the benefits to help convince them. Make a strong case for what you’re asking for and your parents may be more willing to do it.
- If you want your parents to get you a laptop computer, talk about how it’ll help you with your homework and essay research. You could also mention that it can help you stay connected to friends and may be useful if you go to college.

9

Try offering something in return to help convince them.

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Tell your parents you’ll do chores and get better grades in school. ^{[4]
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Expert Source

Desiree Panlilio
Teen Life Coach

Expert Interview. 12 October 2021.} There’s nothing wrong with promising something to your parents to help convince them! You can offer to walk the dog every day or babysit your siblings on the weekends. It may be enough to help push them into agreeing to your request. ^{[5]
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- For instance, say that you’ll vacuum your whole home every weekend and take the trash out every night.

10

Use comparisons to make the request seem more appealing.

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Your parents are more likely to agree if your request seems reasonable. Make a comparison between what you want and another, more expensive request, especially if your parents are unfamiliar with the subject and don’t have a frame of reference. Talk about more expensive items first and then talk about the cheaper, more affordable option that you’re asking for. ^{[6]
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- For example, if you’re trying to convince your parents to buy you a gaming console, talk about how the new PlayStation is over $400 USD, but you can buy older consoles for around $100. They may be more open to agreeing to buy the cheaper version.

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Question

I asked my parents to have a sleepover with my friend, the same day of the sleepover (I know, I know I should have waited)and no matter what I say, they say no. I even wrote a essay. What should I do?

Drew Hawkins1

Community Answer

In the end, you may be better off letting this one go and trying again in the near future. Next time, try doing something nice like cleaning your home and any chores your parents have for you. Then, ask them way ahead of time (like a week or so). If they're hesitant, tell them they don't have to say yes or no right now, and they may come around to the idea and let you have a sleepover.

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Sometimes you may need to be patient. It may take some time for your parents to come around to the idea.

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The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

Be careful how you go about asking something. Some good words are please, consideration, and responsibility. Make it seem as if you know the full situation and you understand all sides of it.
Don't bug your parents about it everytime you talk to them. This will make them more annoyed and you will end up getting no for an answer.
Plan out your contribution! Same-day-vacuuming or same-day-I-appreciate-you's will otherwise easily raise "suspicion" that something's up.

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Expert Source

Desiree Panlilio
Teen Life Coach

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How to Convince Your Parents

Things You Should Know

Steps

Find out more details about what you want.

Anticipate their questions so you have answers ready.

Do something nice for your parents first.

Start up a normal conversation when you’re ready to ask.

Show your parents that you appreciate everything they do for you.

Tell your parents they don’t have to say yes or no right now.

Ask them for what you want clearly and directly.

Explain the benefits of what you’re asking for.

Try offering something in return to help convince them.

Use comparisons to make the request seem more appealing.

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Tips from our Readers

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