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All parents are different and some are more lenient than others. Getting what you want doesn't always happen and you should be open to getting turned down. If you do the proper planning for your request, they might just cave and buy you what you want. Always show your parents respect and never be mean or rude if you don't get what you want.
Steps
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Reflect on what you're asking for. You should know what your parents usually say yes, no, or "let us think about it" too. Compare your request to things your parents have gotten you in the past. Does your current request seem larger than what you usually ask for? Take a look at your financial means and decide how long it would take you to pay for it yourself. Also, consider if your request is something you want or something you need. If you start losing interest in your new item, your parents won't buy you what you want next time.- Decide if what you want is worth fighting for. A lot of material belongings in childhood and teenage years are passing trends. Sometimes there is no point and when the time comes when you need something, they'll probably say no.
- Do you want what you want to be able to show off to other people at school? Do you want this because you think it will be fun and help you personally and mentally?
- Answering these questions can help you while you talk to your parents. [1] X Research source
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Plan the talk. Pick a time when you know your parents are in a good mood, such as a pay day or when they feel proud of something they've done. If you choose a bad time, you may frustrate them even more and it will be less likely to get what you want. You could also consider talking to one parent over the other. It helps to have small talks every day with your parents to keep the conversation open.Advertisement -
Make the pitch to your parents. Start with a little small talk about how they are doing. Try to bring up the item in an organic manner. For example: if you are trying to get a new dress, begin talking about how old all of your current dresses are. Then you could transition into talking about getting a new dress that fits you better.- If you want something like a video game, you could start by explaining the game's premise and how exciting it is. [2] X Research source
- If applicable, explain to your parents how getting the item will benefit them as well as it benefits you.
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Be mature throughout the discussion. Always show your parents that you're a mature kid with good behavior. Don't yell, demand, or argue with them if they seem doubtful at first. Explain calmly what you want and the steps you're willing to take to earn it. [3] X Research source The more polite and reasonable you are, the more likely your parents will listen to you.- One way to ensure that you stay well-mannered is by taking deep breaths before discussing the matter.
- You should also try to go into the discussion knowing that your parents will probably say “no.” This way you won't lose your cool if they say “no.”
EXPERT TIPMarriage & Family TherapistMoshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).Talk to your parents with confidence. Conflicts or disagreements with your parents can get heated, but instead of yelling, try a calmer approach. Think of it as how you would have a discussion with a friend.
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Mind your body language. Don't fold your arms or slouch. Stand up straight or sit up straight in a chair, and try to smile when appropriate. Even if your parents only pick it up subconsciously, this stance is reassuring and improves your chances of persuading your parents. -
Discuss the positive outcomes of your request. Explain how this is something that may have a positive side or may even help you learn more. Don't lie to your parents and say that the new Call of Duty contains history lessons.- If you're asking for an iPhone, explain how you can "Facetime" with your parents or download educational apps. Explain how your parents will be able to reach you more easily. [4] X Trustworthy Source Edutopia Educational nonprofit organization focused on encouraging and celebrating classroom innovation Go to source
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Stand your ground. Be firm in a positive way but don't overdo it by being obnoxious. Don't yell, cry, slam doors, sulk, stomp, or complain about their decision. [5] X Trustworthy Source Edutopia Educational nonprofit organization focused on encouraging and celebrating classroom innovation Go to source Negotiation will always get you farther than a nasty rebuttal. Tell them you are willing to work for it and make sure you are sincere. Parents can usually tell when you don't plan to work, so if you aren't prepared to do your part, don't make any promises.- Keep a cheerful demeanor when you're talking to them. You shouldn't act as though your desire is imperative to your health. Your parents aren't stupid and deserve some respect. Show them a lighthearted attitude.
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Make a deal. Consider what your parents like or would like to be done around the house. Maybe your dad dreads cleaning the house on the weekends, or your mom cleans out the cat's litter box every other day. Offer to do something they do often around the house for a month or two. If you do a satisfactory job after the first month, your parents have to get you what you want.- Many parents want their kids to succeed in school. If there is a subject you are bad at, offer to improve your grades. Getting an after-school tutor will show your parents your dedication.
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Consider paying for part of it yourself. Most likely, your parents will appreciate that you offered to pay for a portion of it. This will also show your parents how dedicated you are to getting this item.- If your parents ask you to pay for half of it, do not back out of your offer. Stick to your word and pay the share you promised.
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Present the request as a gift. Ask for what you want as a gift such as an early birthday or holiday gift. Parents are more likely to help you get what you want for one of these reasons. Choose whatever event is closest.- Consider what your parents usually get you for holidays, and do not ask too much about the circumstances. Your parents might find it insulting if you ask for an Xbox for Valentine's Day.
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Be on your best behavior to show you deserve it. Consistently do your homework , do all your chores, and take your studies seriously to get the best grades you can. Do anything your parents ask of you without complaining, and have a good attitude. It may sound like a lot of work, but keep in mind what you're trying to get in return. -
Stay focused on your goal. Keep a mental picture of what you want in your head. Don't lose sight of the prize: it's the thing that keeps you going. [6] X Research source If you do something impressive, like receive good grades on your report card, then take the opportunity to ask.- Don't ask for less important things. If you are set on getting the new Pokémon game, don't ask for other games until you get what you want.
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Be creative with your request. For example, if you want a car, draw the car you want on a poster, or find a poster of the car and hang it up on a wall in a commonly visited area. Whenever you pass by it, draw attention to it by commenting on it. If your parents have a sense of humor, this can be very effective. You could even make the effort to put together an entertaining PowerPoint presentation that they might enjoy, or a short comic strip.- Consider if your parents are the creative types that would enjoy this type of pitch.
- Even if your parents deny your request, you will have to set up a lighthearted environment.
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Act mature throughout the process. Never beg for what you want. If you constantly ask, argue, or fight for whatever it is you want, your parents will be less than eager to help you get it. Whenever talking about the item you want, keep an ear open for what your parents have to say. Take their doubts about the item seriously. [7] X Research source- A good way to appeal to your parents is by using their language. If your dad tends to explain things with his hands, try explaining your reasoning with your hands.
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Do something nice for your parents. To impress your parent try to take on more responsibility at home. Get something for them that they have always wanted. For example, if your mom wants a special perfume, get it for her. Tell them you paid for it all by yourself. Parents love it when kids work hard for something. They will notice that you have your own money and that you can handle responsibility. When they're in a great mood, mention to them what you would like to have.- Don't bring up what you want at the same time that you give them your gift or you could come across as manipulative.
- You don't have to buy them anything. Do something around the house without them asking you. For example: mow the lawn or do the laundry without anyone asking you.
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Tips
- Don't suddenly be extra nice. Most parents will see right through you. It may take more time, but it's better to gradually do more and more kind, helpful, or caring things.Thanks
- Keep doing the positive things you've been doing even after you get what you want. If you keep showing maturity it will make it easier to ask next time because they won't think you were just being good to get your way.Thanks
- You can try writing your parents a persuasive letter and place it where they will see it.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- Create a script of what you're going to say before confronting your parents, and highlight key points that you can reference during the conversation.
- I recommend starting small and asking for something under $15. That way, you can ease your parents into buying you things.
- If possible, offer to pay your parents all of the money back when you have it.
- Make sure to mention the price when you ask, and do not lie to your parents.
- Making a persuasive PowerPoint or letter always works for me!
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Warnings
- Do not tell your parents you will pay if you know you can't, or next time they won't believe you.Thanks
- Do not steal money. That is the worst possible thing you can do and they'll likely punish you and take your new item away.Thanks
- Make sure you research the item you want to get or you may be disappointed once you get it.Thanks
- Be ready to take "no" for an answer.Thanks
- Be sure the item is something you want and not just something that you'll quickly lose interest in.Thanks
- Don't act like you're hurt so they will take pity on you. If you lie, your parents just get mad and lose trust in you. Show a positive attitude, even if they say no.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.mhanational.org/time-talk-talking-your-parents
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talk-to-parents.html
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talk-to-parents.html
- ↑ https://www.edutopia.org/blog/20-tips-developing-positive-relationships-parents-elena-aguilar
- ↑ https://www.edutopia.org/blog/20-tips-developing-positive-relationships-parents-elena-aguilar
- ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/benefits-goal-setting/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/promoting-empathy-your-teen/201808/how-persuade-your-reluctant-teen
About This Article
Article Summary
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To convince your parents to get you something, wait for a time when they’re in a good mood and not stressed or busy to increase their chances of saying yes. If you plan ahead, you can also make sure you do all your chores and behave well so they’ll be more likely to reward you. When you bring up the conversation, make some small talk about the thing you want before you ask for it. For example, if you want a new video game, tell your parents about all the cool new features and how good its reviews are. If your parents won’t buy it for you, try offering to do some extra chores or paying for some of it with your own money. Alternatively, ask for it as a gift if it’s near your birthday or the holiday season. For more tips, including how to act mature when you ask your parents to get you something, read on!
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