Asperger's Syndrome is hard to understand for many people, from teachers to parents to classmates. This makes life difficult for people who have Asperger's, as they often face negative consequences for behaviors they cannot control. If you're a parent, reading this already puts you ahead of the pack. You recognize that children with Asperger's have different needs and therefore should be treated differently than normal children. That's an important first step. Read on to know where to go from here
Steps
Method 1
Method 1 of 3:
Understanding Your Child
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Understand what Asperger's Syndrome is. If you haven't already, do some research on Asperger's, its symptoms, and why people with Asperger's do what they do. [1] X Expert Source Ran D. Anbar, MD, FAAP
Pediatric Pulmonologist & Medical Counselor Expert Interview. 7 July 2020. Asperger's is no different from autism, and for this reason, is no longer diagnosed, but will instead be diagnosed as level one autism. The label of Asperger's is controversial as there is no difference between Asperger's and low support needs autism. On top of this, it is named after a really controversial figure. -
Recognize how hard social interaction may be for them. Most people don't need to be told how to make conversation or understand body language. But people with Asperger's don't naturally understand how to do things like that.
- Effects of this include difficulty making friends, not understanding social cues, accidentally offending people, speaking in a monotone, and not showing body language. Also, a difficult time relating to others.
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Understand emotional problems. People with Asperger's often have trouble handling their emotions and expressing them to others. Sometimes they can't even recognize their own emotions.
- Effects include emotional breakdowns and problems with anger and stress.
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Watch for repetitive behavior, including stimming . Patterns appeal to people with Asperger's in many respects.
- Examples include pacing, rocking, hand flapping, and other tic-like motions
- Autistic people also have special interests and near-obsessive adherence to routine.
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Recognize straightforward, innocent literalism. People with Asperger's don't tend to understand hidden meanings of any sort.
- Effects include not understanding idioms and sarcasm, trusting anyone who seems nice, and being easier to deceive. Also, thinking a social rule in one area applies in all areas; for instance, they might think that since it's okay to get up and go to the bathroom any time at home, it's okay to do the same at school.
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Look out for lack of physical coordination. People with Asperger's often have poorer control over their bodies than people without the condition.
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Be sensitive to sensory issues. Often kids with Asperger's have unusual senses; their senses may be too strong or weak.
- Effects include sensory overload (breakdowns when too much is going on), sensitivity to touch, etc.
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Know your child's strengths and weaknesses. Everyone with Asperger's is different. Some understand sarcasm perfectly. Some have great coordination. It's important to know which aspects of Asperger's affect your child.
- Understand, too, that your child might be "camouflaging" some of his/her weaknesses. Maybe they get overwhelmed emotionally, but are very good at hiding it. Maybe they feel extremely uncomfortable in social situations, but force themselves to do well. Things like these can wear out your child internally, so be aware that you might not be seeing the full impact of their disorder all the time.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:
Punishing the Child
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Know when and when not to discipline. If your child starts screaming when you want him to try on his new coat, don't spank him or take away his favorite toy! Maybe that coat feels like broken glass against his skin. Maybe he feels scared because the coat is not what he's used to. Make sure you understand the issue before acting.
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Be careful with your child's interest. Maybe your child has just talked back to you, and you're about to send them to their room. However, their favorite TV show comes on in five minutes. Stop! To you it might not seem like a big deal, but that TV show might be the high point of their day. Discipline should be unpleasant, not devastating. Maybe say "no dessert" or "no video games for the rest of the week" instead.
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Make it clear that you're punishing the behavior, not the child. Children with Asperger's are often quite sensitive. Again, something that seems like no big deal to you might rock their world. It's possible that they might begin to doubt your love for them.Advertisement
Method 3
Method 3 of 3:
Using Positive Behavior
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Give your child a break sometimes. If you've just gotten back from a family reunion and your child doesn't want to go to school the next day, try to accommodate her. Let her stay home to recharge. If you can't, ask her teacher to give her some slack that day.
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Reinforce positive behavior. Don't ignore the good things they do. Show that you care as much about the good as the bad. Put their interest to good use here: if they ace a difficult exam, praise them, and maybe make their favorite meal.
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Read up on respectful parenting. Assume that your child is competent and wants to behave well. Treat them with dignity and take time to listen to them.
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Talk about how to handle difficult situations. Yes, your child needs to know what not to do, but they also need to know what to do instead. Teach them good ways to handle strong emotions, bullying, conflicts, and other difficult situations.
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Model good behavior. Your child learns how to manage their emotions by watching you. When you're angry or stressed, behave the way you'd like them to behave.
- It's okay to say "I need a break," take deep breaths, or say that you're too overwhelmed to handle this right now.
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References
- ↑ Ran D. Anbar, MD, FAAP. Pediatric Pulmonologist & Medical Counselor. Expert Interview. 7 July 2020.
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