How to Face Confusing Thoughts

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Everyone has confusing thoughts at times, but how do you face them and gain clarity? There are a number of things you can do to clear your mind and make thoughtful decisions, from deep breathing to journaling to picking up a new hobby. That’s why we’ve put together a psychology-backed list of ways to overcome confusion. If you’re ready to put your mind at ease, take a deep breath and read on.

Things You Should Know

  • Focus on your present feelings and circumstances instead of the past or future to gain clarity and look at your confused thoughts objectively.
  • Physically address confusing thoughts through activities like aerobic exercise, deep breathing, or progressive muscle relaxation.
  • Visit a mental health or medical professional if your confusion interferes with your day-to-day life or comes on suddenly and severely.
1

Focus on the present.

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  1. Turn your focus to the present and let go of what you can’t control. You can’t change the past or predict the future, so save your brain power and time and stop ruminating on them. [1]
    • This doesn’t mean you have to completely forget about the past or future. Consider them when you make decisions, but save your energy for the present.
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2

Accept your current situation and feelings.

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  1. Ignoring or running from your confusion makes you feel better temporarily, but it won’t solve anything long-term. [2] Let yourself feel confused or agitated—it’ll lead you toward the source of your feelings and to possible solutions. [3]
    • The more you try to not think about something, the more your brain will fixate on it. Let your feelings and thoughts flow uninterrupted.
3

Take a deep breath.

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  1. Slow, guided breathing improves your mood and focus and reduces anxiety. When you feel confused or paralyzed by indecision, try one of these breathing exercises : [4]
    • The 4-7-8 Technique: Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds. Hold your breath for 7 seconds, then exhale through your mouth for 8 seconds. Repeat.
    • Resonant Breathing: Sit upright and repeat inhaling for 5 seconds and then exhaling for 5 seconds. Do this for several minutes daily.
    • Box Breathing: Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, then hold for 4 seconds. Exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds, then hold for 4 seconds.
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4

Focus on what’s true and likely.

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  1. If you’re convinced that something bad is real or bound to happen, you’ll fixate on it even if it has no grounding in facts. Look at what’s objectively true about your situation, then imagine likely best-case scenarios. [5] For example:
    • Imagine your best friend is distant and constantly on their phone. It’s more likely they’re talking to a crush than ignoring you because they’re upset.
    • Say your spouse is moody and constantly sending emails. Instead of assuming they’re cheating, recognize it’s more likely they’re working hard on a project.
    • Most of the time, the worst-case scenario your mind comes up with is not the most likely one.
5

Contemplate your thoughts objectively.

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  1. Even when your thoughts feel true, framing them as opinions helps you step back and look at them in new ways. [6] When you put distance between yourself as an individual and your thoughts, it’s a lot easier to be objective about them. [7] For example:
    • Frame “I’m going to make a mistake if I text my ex” like an opinion (“I feel like it’s a mistake to text them”). Then ask objective questions—why would it be a mistake? What’s likely to happen?
    • Questioning your thoughts objectively helps point out flawed or self-limiting thought patterns and helps you approach your feelings like a third party.
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6

Challenge your conscious and subconscious assumptions.

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  1. Assumptions like “Everything will fall apart if I don’t figure this out now” or “People will think I’m weak if I need help” actually prevent you from taking action. These limiting beliefs are probably not totally true—debunk these thoughts to broaden your perspective. [8]
    • Try journaling or talking with a friend to put your thoughts out there and pinpoint places where you’re making assumptions.
    • When you’re free of assumptions, you’ll feel less overwhelmed and have a clearer mind to solve problems with.
7

Weigh the pros and cons of your options.

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  1. This will guide you towards making a thoughtful decision you’re less likely to regret. What options do you have? How would each option help or hurt? How would your life be different after making that choice? [9]
    • Write your pro-con list down so you can clearly see your train of thought and look at it with a fresh perspective.
    • Try using if-then statements. For example, “If I move to New York City, then I will have the opportunity to pursue my dream job.”
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8

Recognize unproductive "thinking traps".

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  1. Recognize when you’re following an unwarranted train of thought and call it out to yourself. Stop trusting faulty logic and reevaluate your circumstances to ground yourself in reality. [10] Some common traps include:
    • Worst-case scenarios: You exaggerate a negative outcome of a situation and think that you’ll be unable to cope.
    • Harsh self-criticizing: You judge yourself by rules you think you should be following and label yourself negative things like undeserving or useless.
    • Black-and-white thinking: You think in extreme all-or-nothing terms where outcomes are perfect or terrible with no possible middle ground.
9

Give yourself time to relax.

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  1. When you live in a constant state of “go, go, go,” you build up stress that damages your clear thinking ability. Take 20 minutes out of your day to close your eyes, breath, and let your mind and body relax. [11]
    • Sit or lay in a comfy position and tell yourself “I’m going on vacation!” to get in the right headspace.
    • Let yourself feel and experience whatever emotions come up during your break without trying to push anything away.
    • It might help to reflect on past experiences that were relaxing or that bring you peace and joy.
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10

Distract yourself temporarily.

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  1. Try distracting yourself with whatever interests you—watch TV, listen to music, go for a walk outside, or pick up a good book. [12] The goal is to take a break from thoughts and activities that make you feel anxious and confused so your brain and body can recuperate from stress. [13]
    • Remember, this is a short-term solution. If you’re frequently feeling confused or conflicted, there’s a deeper underlying cause that needs to be addressed.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 2042 wikiHow readers what their go-to self-care activity is, and only 4% of them said Baking and cooking. [Take Poll]
      • Baking or cooking isn't the first type of self-care that comes to mind for most people, possibly because cooking takes organization and work. But it also does a great job of distracting your thoughts for a short period of time.
11

Write or say positive affirmations.

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  1. Write or speak out loud “I” statements about your values, self-worth, and gratitude. As you build up your self-image, you’ll gain clarity on your thoughts and feel more empowered to take action to improve your feelings. [14] Use affirmations like these: [15]
    • “I feel confused right now and I’ll take things one day at a time.”
    • “I can always find something to be grateful for.”
    • “I’m not alone. I have people who can help me through this.”
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12

Get some exercise.

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  1. Whether your confusion is emotional or neurological, regular exercise will improve your mood, sharpen your overall brain function, and help you relax. Choose aerobic activities like jogging or swimming to get the biggest boost. [16]
    • Aerobic exercise releases endorphins, adrenaline, cortisol, and other chemicals and hormones that elevate your mood and make you feel better physically.
13

Journal about your thoughts.

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  1. Seeing your emotions on paper can help you study them more objectively and find your way forward. [17] Set aside a few minutes every day to journal and let your words flow freely—structure and grammar aren’t important here. [18]
    • Keep a pen and paper handy at all times to make journaling throughout the day easier.
    • Only share your journal entries if you want to. They’re your private thoughts and you can do what you like with them.
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14

Try progressive muscle relaxation.

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  1. Find a comfortable sitting or lying position and turn your senses towards your body. Take a few deep breaths to center yourself, then tense and release your muscles , working from your forehead down to your toes. [19]
    • Tense each muscle group for about 5 seconds before releasing. Focus on deep breathing between tenses.
    • Feel your body relax deeper and deeper each time you relax a muscle group. Imagine your stress, anxiety, and confusion melting away.
15

Learn a new skill.

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  1. This is a great way to get moving and do something instead of sitting and ruminating. Work on a skill that you consider helpful or that you find relaxing. By doing something new, you’re training your brain to look at things with new perspectives or solutions. [20] Try:
    • A new household skill like baking or feng shui.
    • Something athletic like training for a 10K or recreational sports.
    • An artistic hobby or personal interest like learning a musical instrument or gardening.
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16

Talk about your thoughts with others.

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  1. Discuss what you’re thinking and feeling, and ask for help coming up with solutions. It might feel uncomfortable, but those who know you and your situation well can provide insight you may have overlooked. [21]
    • Talking out loud helps you analyze your own thought patterns and relieves some of the stress you feel inside.
    • Clarify what you want from your listener—do you just want to talk at someone? Do you want them to actively chime in with suggestions and observations?
17

Meet with a mental health professional.

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  1. If you feel totally out of control of your thoughts and words and self-care is not helping, schedule an appointment with a therapist or counselor. They’ll help evaluate whether you’re going through a rough patch or have a more serious underlying problem. [22]
    • An uncontrollable burst of racing or confusing thoughts is called a “flight of ideas.” It’s sometimes seen in people with anxiety, bipolar disorder, ADHD, or drug addictions.
    • Try a therapist-finding site like BetterHelp to help find and choose a therapist.
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18

Consult a doctor or medical professional.

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  1. Infections, concussions, sleep deprivation, old age, and strokes are all conditions that may cause medical confusion. Seek help immediately if your confusion comes on suddenly or is accompanied by any of the following: [23]
    • Cold, clammy skin or uncontrollable shivering.
    • Dizziness or feeling faint.
    • A fast pulse, fever, or headache.
    • Slow or rapid breathing.
    • Inability to remember your name or other personal information.

How Can You Process Confusing Thoughts?


The Takeaway: Facing Confusing Thoughts

To face confusing thoughts, look at them objectively to see if any are based on actual facts. Physical activities like aerobic exercise, deep breathing, or progressive muscle relaxation can also help. If the confusion interferes with your daily life, consider visiting a mental health professional.

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do you deal with a confused feeling?
    Kim Chronister, PsyD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Kim Chronister is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. She specializes in helping people struggling with substance abuse, relationship problems, eating disorders, and personality disorders. Dr. Chronister has contributed to and appeared on Access Hollywood, Investigation Discovery, and NBC News. She is the author of “Peak Mindset” and “FitMentality.” She holds an MA in Clinical Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) from Alliant International University.
    Kim Chronister, PsyD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    The best thing you can do is to allow yourself to be curious as to why you might be experiencing that feeling. Try to play with both sides of the idea, instead of stressing over the automatic confusing thought. Accept that you will be confused at times and do your best to be okay with not having the right answer in that exact moment.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-s-mental-health-matters/201604/5-ways-stop-your-racing-thoughts
      2. ↑ Kim Chronister, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 20 September 2022.
      3. ↑ https://undergrad.research.ucsb.edu/2015/08/psa-ok-confused/
      4. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/stress/learning-deep-breathing
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-s-mental-health-matters/201604/5-ways-stop-your-racing-thoughts
      6. ↑ Kim Chronister, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 20 September 2022.
      7. ↑ ​​ https://www.anxietycanada.com/articles/tool-5-consider-more-helpful-thoughts/
      8. ↑ https://hbr.org/2019/10/how-to-deal-with-constantly-feeling-overwhelmed
      9. ↑ https://hbr.org/2017/01/the-pros-and-cons-of-pros-and-cons-lists
      1. ↑ https://www.anxietycanada.com/articles/tool-4-recognize-thinking-traps/
      2. ↑ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/want-clear-thinking-relax/?page=2
      3. ↑ Kim Chronister, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 20 September 2022.
      4. ↑ https://screening.mhanational.org/content/my-mind-racing/?layout=actions_neutral
      5. ↑ https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article/file?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0062593&type=printable
      6. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/imperfect/2020/03/affirmations-for-difficult-times
      7. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/exercising-to-relax
      8. ↑ Kim Chronister, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 20 September 2022.
      9. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentID=4552&ContentTypeID=1
      10. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/progressive-muscle-relaxation#Progressive-Muscle-Relaxation-Script
      11. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/challenge-your-mind-and-body-to-sharpen-your-thinking-skills-201510298507
      12. ↑ https://www.mentalhealth.gov/talk/friends-family-members
      13. ↑ https://screening.mhanational.org/content/my-mind-racing/?layout=actions_neutral
      14. ↑ https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/003205.htm
      15. ↑ https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/003205.htm
      16. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/15252-delirium

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      While confusing or disturbing thoughts can make you feel anxious, taking the time to face them and better understand them can give you a fresh perspective. One way to more objectively view your thoughts is to write them down. Seeing your thoughts in writing can help separate them from your more immediate emotional reactions. When you see your thoughts in writing, try viewing them without judgment by asking yourself what advice you’d give to a friend. This can be helpful since you would likely talk to a friend with a bit more logic and kindness than you might talk to yourself. You can also think about the consequences of your thoughts if they lead to actions. For example, ask yourself “If I do X, what may happen,” or “If I do not do X, what may happen?” Another way to sort through your thoughts is to talk to a trusted friend, family member, or professional. If possible, talk to someone who has gone through a similar situation. To learn how to prepare your mind to face challenging thoughts, keep reading.

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