How to Find True Happiness and Peace

Co-authored by Julia Yacoob, PhD

Last Updated: May 21, 2024 Approved

Peace begins with a smile - Mother Teresa.

Has anyone ever told you that money is the secret of true happiness? What about popularity, position, or fame? Do they really provide the kind of happiness and contentment that everyone longs for? Try these steps which may bring you far closer to getting truly happy! They will set you on the path to sustainable happiness whatever mental state you are currently in.

Steps

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Be generous . Volunteer , practice random acts of kindness, and be generous . The act of giving always makes the heart more content with its self. Peace and selfishness do not coexist very well. ^{[1]
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Love Yourself . Don't be too hard on yourself. ^{[2]
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Research source} No one is perfect. Love yourself and love life in all its forms. Be open to accept things in a positive manner. ^{[3]
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Expert Source

Julia Yacoob, PhD
Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.}

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Ignore negative comments . Remain cool and calm as a person. Ignore the negativity (negative comments, happenings, people) around you. Be understanding: many times hard feelings exist due to not understanding the other person's point of view. When you start putting yourself in the person's place you begin to understand why he says what he says and you start breaking the wall of ego. ^{[4]
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- Quiet your own inner negative voice. Start to pay attention to moments when you're not being fair to yourself. ^{[5]
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  Expert Source
  
  Julia Yacoob, PhD
  Clinical Psychologist
  
  Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.}
Be friendly. Be friendly and helpful . Being friendly does not mean you have to bring home everyone you meet, but you can always put up a good front and behave warmly in front of others. When you give positive vibes, you will attract positive vibes. ^{[6]
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. Do not enter into an argument for silly things. Nothing is worth fighting over and you cannot change other people. Remember these two rules before picking up a fight. It's not worth it after all. ^{[7]
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Stay busy . Keep yourself busy with something constructive. But do keep some time for relaxation too. ^{[8]
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Think positive . Always. Take lessons from the events in your life. Turn disappointments into life lessons. Explore courses in sustainable happiness and positive psychology. ^{[9]
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Be yourself . Try not to compare yourself with others. ^{[10]
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Research source} Everyone is unique in this world. Cherish the fact and feel nice about yourself. You have everything including a nice heart.
. Remember that your body will experience the harmful effects of keeping anger and hatred inside you. If you forgive you will be able to forget. Forgiving may not be easy but it brings you tremendous peace. Forgive for your sake, if not theirs. ^{[11]
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Be honest. Be honest with yourself and what you want, and what you expect from yourself and others. ^{[12]
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Research source} It is not easy at first. If you know what you really want, then you could achieve your goals easier.
Stay calm . Being calm keeps a person from making hasty decisions. Once something is said or done, it cannot be taken back. It takes practice, so hang in there. ^{[13]
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You are only in your head. You never know what someone else is thinking or what they meant by their comment. Ask questions if you want to be sure.
Rarely anything anyone does is about you. It is based on their own dreams and desires. You never know how someone else's life is going. ^{[14]
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True happiness can only be found when you stop worrying about yourself and try to look out for those around you. Helping family members, co-workers, and friends can give your life meaning and joy. Selfishness, on the other hand, will only provide temporary pleasure. Obviously there are some aspects of life where you must focus on yourself, like your body's need for food and sleep, but only focusing on your own needs will never result in true, sustainable happiness.
Smile . Smiling is infectious. If you make yourself smile for a minute, you are using all kinds of facial muscles, and you can't help but feel good.
If you can accomplish even the smallest goal, it will pave the way for bigger and better things. With goals accomplished, it sends a message to yourself, that you are a winner, and can do what ever you set your mind to. ^{[15]
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You are unique and special in all the world. If life knocks you down get back up. Failing is not in getting knocked down, it is in staying down.
Choose your own way of life without being pressured by anyone else. As an example of this, Barack Obama was born to a Muslim father, but chose to be a Christian and Nobel prize winner Bertrand Russel, a great advocate of peace, chose to be an atheist. ^{[16]
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Cherish the values of love generosity courage, compassion and kindness in their own right as being worthy of getting you closer to happiness,
Be simply good it is advantageous to you as an individual, and to the human species as a whole and remember the words of Confucius' Truth and sincerity is the basis of all virtue.
Comparing your life against others or your past creates a lot of unhappiness, enjoy and make the most of what you have. Don't compare. Comparing your life against others or your past creates a lot of unhappiness, enjoy and make the most of what you have. ^{[17]
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When you experience a thought nagging at the back of your mind, write it down as a question. This focuses your mind and helps you not become obsessed with your thoughts.
Don't worry about the past and the future. contentment is reached when you make the most of the present as thinking of the past and the future will in the end just lead to disappointment. ^{[18]
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This does not have to be a religious practice, the intention is to give time for your worries to come up, but don't think about them just allow them to naturally pass until you achieve a calm mind. meditation is allowing your mind to become calm. You don't have to spend hours doing this 20 minutes is fine. ^{[19]
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Getting up early helps you avoid feeling rushed and you can relax before you go to work.
A lot of us do what we think we should do and this is often influence by what we think others think we should do. Instead follow your instincts and do what you feel is right.

How Can You Find Happiness?

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Question

How do you learn to love yourself?

Julia Yacoob, PhD
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Julia Yacoob is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist practicing in New York City. She specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for adults coping with a variety of symptoms and life stressors. Dr. Yacoob earned an MS and Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Rutgers University, and pursued specialized training at Weill Cornell Medical College, New York Presbyterian Hospital, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, the Institute for Behavior Therapy, and Bellevue Hospital Cancer Center. Dr. Yacoob is a member of the American Psychological Association, Women’s Mental Health Consortium, NYC Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Association, and Association for Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies.

Julia Yacoob, PhD

Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Learning to love yourself takes lots of time and effort. It might involve battling some old, self-defeating thoughts or acknowledging how critical you are of yourself. You may also need to understand and chip away at your negative inner voice in order to recreate your relationship with yourself.

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Tips

Be grateful for you have much more than others. Count your positives and what all you 'have' in life.

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If people are negative toward you, just be friendly. Realize that being positive is a better way of life and their comments don't really matter. Let them be.

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Be confident.

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Warnings

If you get angry, try to leave the room. Try to calm down and think of peaceful ways to deal with the situation. And stay out of arguments, fights just lead to trouble.

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Remember you have the right to silence, and the right to legitimate self defense.

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How to Find True Happiness and Peace

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