Why am I still single?
I'm in my late 20s and have never been in a serious relationship. I'm just tired and frustrated. I don't know where to meet people and I'm not good at talking to new people. Should I just give up even trying?
Being single doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong! Being single gives you a chance to really love yourself so that, when you're ultimately in a relationship, you're not dependent on the other person to make you happy. It's of prime importance that you really be happy with yourself. That might look like embracing the things that you've wanted to do, going back to some hobbies, or writing a gratitude list every day about what you love about yourself. All the things that go into loving yourself and being happy with yourself are really key.
However, there are two sides to every coin. A lot of people who are single don't want to be single. And that's fine. It's just where you are now, so how can you embrace it? Think about how there are things that you can do as a single person that you can't do as part of a couple, and embrace those types of things. For example, if you'd like to travel alone, do it! Look at all the positives, and enjoy the single life while you can. You'll get into a relationship when the right person comes along!
However, there are two sides to every coin. A lot of people who are single don't want to be single. And that's fine. It's just where you are now, so how can you embrace it? Think about how there are things that you can do as a single person that you can't do as part of a couple, and embrace those types of things. For example, if you'd like to travel alone, do it! Look at all the positives, and enjoy the single life while you can. You'll get into a relationship when the right person comes along!
Thanks, that's good advice. But I feel like it's not just me, all my friends are single too :( Why are we ALL single?
The number one reason is that there are more distractions than ever. There are apps like TikTok, Instagram, Twitter...there's a lot of nonstop distractions pulling people's energy in a million directions. Also, these apps make you feel like you're doing something for your social and dating life. They make you feel like you're being social when swiping or messaging, but you may never meet up with that person. It just doesn't come together.
Also, there are unrealistic and over-sexualized videos that give us the wrong idea of how life should be when we should really just focus on enjoying the simple things, like meeting someone who understands you, having a good conversation, taking a walk and having a coffee together, planning your future, and just doing things that aren't as involved now as they used to be.
I think society has shifted in many ways where a lot of people don't have to live a traditional life. For example, you don't need to live in only one location. But if you can travel the world and make money, relationships can be harder to manage with that nomadic lifestyle. One of the biggest issues, though, is the amount of distraction and the feeling that there are just so many options out there. A very beautiful girl could be getting many offers to go travel the world just because of the pictures she has up online. So then once she meets a real guy in a real situation, it's a lot less likely to come together because she has so many options pulling her attention away from having that kind of a relationship. And also, that kind of relationship may not even appeal to her anymore because now she has a lot of different options to have many different kinds of experiences.
Also, there are unrealistic and over-sexualized videos that give us the wrong idea of how life should be when we should really just focus on enjoying the simple things, like meeting someone who understands you, having a good conversation, taking a walk and having a coffee together, planning your future, and just doing things that aren't as involved now as they used to be.
I think society has shifted in many ways where a lot of people don't have to live a traditional life. For example, you don't need to live in only one location. But if you can travel the world and make money, relationships can be harder to manage with that nomadic lifestyle. One of the biggest issues, though, is the amount of distraction and the feeling that there are just so many options out there. A very beautiful girl could be getting many offers to go travel the world just because of the pictures she has up online. So then once she meets a real guy in a real situation, it's a lot less likely to come together because she has so many options pulling her attention away from having that kind of a relationship. And also, that kind of relationship may not even appeal to her anymore because now she has a lot of different options to have many different kinds of experiences.
Dating apps are a hellscape. I was on Tinder for a whole year and can count the number of matches I got on one hand. And of the few matches I got, only two responded. One was a bot and the other girl ghosted me when I tried to set up a date. I also tried Hinge, Bumble, OkCupid, Match.com, Coffee Meets Bagel, Eharmony...everything... If you're a straight guy dating apps are a waste of time.
I second that dating apps are not the vibe. I'm also a straight guy and tried dating apps for a while without much success. I met my current girlfriend through a local Meetup group. We're both musicians and happened to end up at the same jam one evening. During a break I complimented her on her improvising and we hit it off. Went on a date a few days later and now we've been dating for 10 months.
I'd recommend getting off the dating apps and spending your time going to places and events where you're likely to meet new people. Find local hobby groups for things you're interested in or have always wanted to try and show up with the intention to make new friends, not just to find a girlfriend. People are going to pick up on if you're just there to hit on girls. Make an effort to make genuine connections with people and if one of them happens to develop into a romantic relationship, that's awesome! Even if you don't find a girlfriend right away, you'll incorporate more socializing into your life and that will boost your happiness and confidence, which will help make you more attractive to potential partners. Good luck!
I'd recommend getting off the dating apps and spending your time going to places and events where you're likely to meet new people. Find local hobby groups for things you're interested in or have always wanted to try and show up with the intention to make new friends, not just to find a girlfriend. People are going to pick up on if you're just there to hit on girls. Make an effort to make genuine connections with people and if one of them happens to develop into a romantic relationship, that's awesome! Even if you don't find a girlfriend right away, you'll incorporate more socializing into your life and that will boost your happiness and confidence, which will help make you more attractive to potential partners. Good luck!
What do other wikiHow readers have to say?
Other wikiHow readers have submitted their own tips on topics similar to this one.
Reader Tips from How to Be Single and Happy
Value the things that you have, such as your creativity, your intelligence, your friends or your pet(s) as well as your newly-found independence.
Try doing new things: hiking, skiing, boating, swimming, ride a camel, and do it with your friends and family! Try taking on the world with friends!
Create order, serenity and a space that is all you and that is filled with only things you love with no exceptions. Keep only the clothes, books, papers, nice backs and housewares that absolutely sparkle with joy for you. Let EVERYTHING else go. Don't forget to thank the things going for serving you as they did in the past.
Reader Tips from Why Can’t I Find Love? 12 Common Reasons & How to Turn Things Around
Remember, rejection is not a reflection of your self-worth. It just means there wasn’t a good match between the two of you.
Consider self-help books or blogs to help you explore your relationship with love, or try talking with a therapist who specializes in relationships.
When it comes to love, age doesn’t matter. Try not to let insecurity about your age stop you from looking for a meaningful, long-term relationship.
Reader Tips from How to Lead a Happy Life Without Romantic Relationships
Try to do something new every day to keep life exciting.
Try to find happiness within yourself rather than looking for it in others. Relying on others for happiness is unhealthy and will backfire.
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