Need help writing my own wedding vows!
My wedding is coming up soon and I want my vows to be perfect but I don't know where to start. Every time I try writing something it comes out so cheesy and awkward. There is so much I love about my partner and it's hard to put it all into words. Does anyone have any advice on how to write your vows? I'd love to hear the story of how you wrote yours!
First off, congrats on getting married! It's a big and exciting step in a relationship, and your vows will only show your partner how much you love them. When I was writing my vows, I wrote down all the qualities and memories of my partner that made me fall for them in the first place. I even added a few inside jokes so we could have a special moment for just us during the ceremony. When you have your ideas on paper, it's a lot easier to organize your thoughts.
Remember that no matter what you say, your vows will sound special and meaningful as long as they come from the heart. Just be honest with how you feel about your partner, and they're going to remember it :)
Remember that no matter what you say, your vows will sound special and meaningful as long as they come from the heart. Just be honest with how you feel about your partner, and they're going to remember it :)
I think writing a vow is something that's super personal and not something you should seek assistance with from a friend or family member. I think it's something you should do alone in the comfort of a place that makes you happy in your life and in your relationships. So if that's your couch in the living room, or your bed in the bedroom, or the beach where you first met, go somewhere that reminds you of your partner and the things you love about them. And I just say start with a list of all the reasons you're marrying this person, all the reasons you went on a second date with this person, all the reasons you got engaged to this person, and those things should come to mind. Whether that's because they're hot, they're sweet or smart, they're kind, whatever it is, write down those first key words that come to mind. And then once you have the ones you feel really solid about, begin to fill it out with sentences.
For example, if you say they're smart, write a few sentences as to how they're smart, or stories or moments that showed you that they were smart, or that they're compassionate, caring, loving, handsome, a good kisser, good dancer, whatever it is. I think it's a good exercise to have. And it's a great way to look back on your time together pre-wedding, so that you can bring those memories into the ceremony. Of course, we don't need it to be super long. But I say having a long list is better. And then you can go through and shorten what you guys decide as a couple about how long they're going to spend. If you want to make it equal or if you're totally surprising each other, then I'd say trust your gut and your heart because it led you to where you were, which is marrying the person of your dreams.
For example, if you say they're smart, write a few sentences as to how they're smart, or stories or moments that showed you that they were smart, or that they're compassionate, caring, loving, handsome, a good kisser, good dancer, whatever it is. I think it's a good exercise to have. And it's a great way to look back on your time together pre-wedding, so that you can bring those memories into the ceremony. Of course, we don't need it to be super long. But I say having a long list is better. And then you can go through and shorten what you guys decide as a couple about how long they're going to spend. If you want to make it equal or if you're totally surprising each other, then I'd say trust your gut and your heart because it led you to where you were, which is marrying the person of your dreams.
A tip I haven't seen yet that I think is important to do before you start working on your vows is making sure you and your partner are on the same page about the vibe of your vows. Even if you want your vows to be a surprise to each other, you should agree on things like the general length, tone, and content so that you don't accidentally end up in a situation where you wrote 10 minute, heartfelt vows and your partner wrote 1 minute humorous vows.
Totally agree with all the suggestions offered here so far, especially about incorporating inside jokes into your vows. In my and my husband's vows we wrote about why we wanted to get married, what we loved about one another, etc. but we also talked about what we hope for the future and what we "vow" to do, what we want our married life to look like. And you can get creative here! For instance, I said I vowed to be there for him and take care of him (as is pretty traditional) but I also said I vowed to never see a Star Wars movie in theaters without him lol. Got some chuckles (and I meant it!)
Also remember you don't have to say everything you write when you're just starting to draft your vows. spend time just freewriting about your partner and your relationship and see what comes out of it. Instead of approaching it like "what will my vows be?" try approaching it like "What is the story of us, what do I love about them, what do I hope the future looks like," etc. and take your vows from there.
Good luck, and congrats!
Also remember you don't have to say everything you write when you're just starting to draft your vows. spend time just freewriting about your partner and your relationship and see what comes out of it. Instead of approaching it like "what will my vows be?" try approaching it like "What is the story of us, what do I love about them, what do I hope the future looks like," etc. and take your vows from there.
Good luck, and congrats!
What do other wikiHow readers have to say?
Other wikiHow readers have submitted their own tips on topics similar to this one.
Reader Tips from How to Write a Love Letter
If you are sending secret admirer notes, be sure to give your person of interest some clues to who you are! If they ask about it, pretend to act shy or just change the subject.
When writing a love letter, really pour out your deepest feelings for them and just be honest with them. They will love the it and probably cherish the letter forever!
Write a funny moment you both shared which will make them laugh and miss you.
Reader Tips from How to Write the Perfect Love Letter
Include a metaphor to something your love reminds you of! If your partner reminds you of summer because they have a warm personality, tell them that!
Include daydreams of how you imagine life with your partner and things that you want to do with them in the future.
Reader Tips from How to Write a Wedding Speech
Chat with other close friends and family members of the newlyweds if you're stuck because they may be able to tell you good stories to include.
If you're at a religious wedding, you could mention something about how faith brought the newlyweds together to show your respect.
Practice your speech in front of a few people before the wedding day to help get rid of some of the jitters.
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