Why am I still single?
I'm in my late 20s and have never been in a serious relationship. I'm just tired and frustrated. I don't know where to meet people and I'm not good at talking to new people. Should I just give up even trying?
Being single doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong! Being single gives you a chance to really love yourself so that, when you're ultimately in a relationship, you're not dependent on the other person to make you happy. It's of prime importance that you really be happy with yourself. That might look like embracing the things that you've wanted to do, going back to some hobbies, or writing a gratitude list every day about what you love about yourself. All the things that go into loving yourself and being happy with yourself are really key.
However, there are two sides to every coin. A lot of people who are single don't want to be single. And that's fine. It's just where you are now, so how can you embrace it? Think about how there are things that you can do as a single person that you can't do as part of a couple, and embrace those types of things. For example, if you'd like to travel alone, do it! Look at all the positives, and enjoy the single life while you can. You'll get into a relationship when the right person comes along!
However, there are two sides to every coin. A lot of people who are single don't want to be single. And that's fine. It's just where you are now, so how can you embrace it? Think about how there are things that you can do as a single person that you can't do as part of a couple, and embrace those types of things. For example, if you'd like to travel alone, do it! Look at all the positives, and enjoy the single life while you can. You'll get into a relationship when the right person comes along!
Thanks, that's good advice. But I feel like it's not just me, all my friends are single too :( Why are we ALL single?
The number one reason is that there are more distractions than ever. There are apps like TikTok, Instagram, Twitter...there's a lot of nonstop distractions pulling people's energy in a million directions. Also, these apps make you feel like you're doing something for your social and dating life. They make you feel like you're being social when swiping or messaging, but you may never meet up with that person. It just doesn't come together.
Also, there are unrealistic and over-sexualized videos that give us the wrong idea of how life should be when we should really just focus on enjoying the simple things, like meeting someone who understands you, having a good conversation, taking a walk and having a coffee together, planning your future, and just doing things that aren't as involved now as they used to be.
I think society has shifted in many ways where a lot of people don't have to live a traditional life. For example, you don't need to live in only one location. But if you can travel the world and make money, relationships can be harder to manage with that nomadic lifestyle. One of the biggest issues, though, is the amount of distraction and the feeling that there are just so many options out there. A very beautiful girl could be getting many offers to go travel the world just because of the pictures she has up online. So then once she meets a real guy in a real situation, it's a lot less likely to come together because she has so many options pulling her attention away from having that kind of a relationship. And also, that kind of relationship may not even appeal to her anymore because now she has a lot of different options to have many different kinds of experiences.
Also, there are unrealistic and over-sexualized videos that give us the wrong idea of how life should be when we should really just focus on enjoying the simple things, like meeting someone who understands you, having a good conversation, taking a walk and having a coffee together, planning your future, and just doing things that aren't as involved now as they used to be.
I think society has shifted in many ways where a lot of people don't have to live a traditional life. For example, you don't need to live in only one location. But if you can travel the world and make money, relationships can be harder to manage with that nomadic lifestyle. One of the biggest issues, though, is the amount of distraction and the feeling that there are just so many options out there. A very beautiful girl could be getting many offers to go travel the world just because of the pictures she has up online. So then once she meets a real guy in a real situation, it's a lot less likely to come together because she has so many options pulling her attention away from having that kind of a relationship. And also, that kind of relationship may not even appeal to her anymore because now she has a lot of different options to have many different kinds of experiences.
Dating apps are a hellscape. I was on Tinder for a whole year and can count the number of matches I got on one hand. And of the few matches I got, only two responded. One was a bot and the other girl ghosted me when I tried to set up a date. I also tried Hinge, Bumble, OkCupid, Match.com, Coffee Meets Bagel, Eharmony...everything... If you're a straight guy dating apps are a waste of time.
I second that dating apps are not the vibe. I'm also a straight guy and tried dating apps for a while without much success. I met my current girlfriend through a local Meetup group. We're both musicians and happened to end up at the same jam one evening. During a break I complimented her on her improvising and we hit it off. Went on a date a few days later and now we've been dating for 10 months.
I'd recommend getting off the dating apps and spending your time going to places and events where you're likely to meet new people. Find local hobby groups for things you're interested in or have always wanted to try and show up with the intention to make new friends, not just to find a girlfriend. People are going to pick up on if you're just there to hit on girls. Make an effort to make genuine connections with people and if one of them happens to develop into a romantic relationship, that's awesome! Even if you don't find a girlfriend right away, you'll incorporate more socializing into your life and that will boost your happiness and confidence, which will help make you more attractive to potential partners. Good luck!
I'd recommend getting off the dating apps and spending your time going to places and events where you're likely to meet new people. Find local hobby groups for things you're interested in or have always wanted to try and show up with the intention to make new friends, not just to find a girlfriend. People are going to pick up on if you're just there to hit on girls. Make an effort to make genuine connections with people and if one of them happens to develop into a romantic relationship, that's awesome! Even if you don't find a girlfriend right away, you'll incorporate more socializing into your life and that will boost your happiness and confidence, which will help make you more attractive to potential partners. Good luck!
What do other wikiHow readers have to say?
Other wikiHow readers have submitted their own tips on topics similar to this one.
Reader Tips from How to Be Single and Happy
Take yourself on dates every now and then! Go to the movies, hit up your favorite restaurant, or just plan a spa day for yourself. These little acts of self-love radically matter, especially if you're trying to remain single on purpose.
If you ever find yourself feeling lonely, surround yourself with family, friends, and other loved ones. Just being around people you care about will radically improve your mood.
If you just ended a bad relationship, reflect on how that relationship made you feel. Going forward, make a promise to prioritize yourself and your happiness.
Reader Tips from Why Can’t I Find Love? 12 Common Reasons & How to Turn Things Around
In my experience, love often finds you when you aren't actively looking for it. If you feel like you're getting burned out by all the dating apps, bad first dates, and lack of compatible partners, just take a break. You'll feel much more comfortable navigating new relationships and looking for love if you aren't completely tired of the whole journey.
If you're looking for Mr. or Ms. Right and you're really digging for that deep connection, don't waste your time continuing to date people who are sort of obviously not long-term material. Just cut your losses and keep looking for the one!
Reader Tips from How to Lead a Happy Life Without Romantic Relationships
It's a bit of a dark solution, but I find it really comforting to look at the statistics around cheating. It's a lot easier to feel comfortable being alone if you've got a bit of a reminder that a lot of relationships just end really brutally over infidelity.
Go for morning or evening walk every day. I know it sounds silly, but having a little productive habit that you engage in, just for you, is a big deal when it comes to feeling fulfilled by yourself.
If you do eventually want a relationship, don't sweat it. You don't need to permanently write off love forever if you think you just need a break from this kind of stuff.
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