How to Get Along with Your Sister

PDF download Download Article
PDF download Download Article

If you and your sister may fight a lot, this problem can be resolved. Getting along with your sister(s) is an important part of developing a strong, lifetime relationship. Strive for positive interactions with your sister. Work on being polite and kind to her. Treat her more like a friend. Appreciate her good qualities. Try to consider what makes your sister likable and interesting. In the event of a conflict, talk things out instead of fighting or arguing. With a little hard work, you can foster a great relationship with your sister. If your sister is mad at you give her some time. Say "I'm sorry".Try to calm them down. Buy them a sorry present. Bring them to the mall. Or, if you're mad at them, try to tell them how you feel about them. And make sure you are calm while talking to them.Try to interact with them. If that does not work, ask someone you really trust for advice.Try to get along with your sister at any cost. They're part of your family. And deep down they love you as much as you love them.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Interacting Positively With Your Sister

PDF download Download Article
  1. If you want a good relationship with your sister, make her feel supported. Instead of becoming jealous over your sister's achievements, be her personal cheerleader. This will make your sister feel valued and strengthen your bond.
    • If your sister achieves something, offer her a sincere congratulations. For example, say something like, "Good job! I'm so proud!" if she gets straight A's one semester. If you're supportive of your sister, she's more likely to be supportive of you in return.
    • Remember, it's normal to be jealous at times. Sometimes, you may wish you were the one achieving something. However, just because you feel a negative emotion does not mean you have to act on it. Try to put your own negativity aside and try to genuinely congratulate your sister.
  2. [1] Boundaries are important for any healthy relationship. Without solid boundaries, positive relationships are difficult. You are entitled to your own physical and emotional space. When your sister invades your space, let her know politely instead of responding with anger. [2]
    • If your sister is upsetting you, you have the right to ask her to stop. Siblings sometimes take a while to understand one another's boundaries, and your sister may occasionally inadvertently make you uncomfortable. In these situations, respond accordingly.
    • Ask your sister to stop the behavior, but do so in a mature fashion. Do not say, "Get out of my room! I don't want you here!" Instead, say something like, "I need some space to myself sometimes, and I don't like it when you're in my room when I'm trying to read". If your sister continues to disturb you and tends to treat you disrespectfully, you can discuss this sincerely with your parents. Alternatively, you can stop communicating with your sister by staying away from her for a while until she learns to treat you respectfully again.
    • Sometimes, your sibling may not understand you are trying to establish boundaries. Do not hesitate to ask a parent for help if your sibling is not respecting your boundaries.
    Advertisement
  3. A great way to improve your relationship is by working together. Try to help your sister with some of her chores, and ask her for help in return. If the two of you work together on, say, the dishes, this will encourage teamwork and a sense of togetherness.
  4. Many people have a tendency to take siblings for granted. You may fail to see your sister as an individual if you're used to viewing her as just another family member. Try to treat your sister as a friend. Many siblings eventually become good friends. [4]
    • Think about how you treat your friends from school. Chances are, you do not do things like tease and torment them, which you may to do your sister. Try to offer your sister this same kindness.
    • Hang out with your sister sometimes. Just because she's family does not mean the two of you can't hang out like friends. Go shopping. Invite her on a bike ride. Play a board game together. This would enable a positive relationship between you and your sister.
    5. Advertisement
Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Changing Your Attitude Towards Your Sister

PDF download Download Article
  1. Jealousy is very common in sibling relationships and can be a major cause of tension. If your sister is, for example, a bookworm, she may get a lot of attention from relatives. Instead of being jealous of this, admire your sister's talents.
    • Remind yourself of your own talents and skills. Your sister may have read all the works of Jane Austen, but maybe you're an excellent basketball player. Your sister may be great at figure skating, but you excel at horseback riding.
    • Remember, everyone is unique. There is no sense comparing yourself to your sister, as the two of you are different people. It's okay that you have different skills.
  2. If you're sometimes angry with your sister, keeping her good qualities in mind can help. Instead of focusing on things she does that irritate you, think about the reasons you value her. [5]
    • Throughout the day, pause and express appreciation for your sister. When she does something you like, make a point of saying so.
    • For example, "Chloe, I really appreciate that you helped me with my math homework tonight."
    • If you're able to appreciate your sister regularly, you will be less frustrated with her when conflicts arise. You will remember why your sister's good qualities outweigh her bad ones.
  3. It can be difficult to get along with a sibling when you're still at home, especially if the two of you share space and personal items. You may find yourself frequently frustrated. In these moments, think about the future. Remind yourself that you won't always get to see your sister every day. This can help you appreciate her more.
    • Many siblings turn out to be good friends as adults. Even if the situation is tense now, you may one day think of your sister as your best friend.
    • Keep this in mind when you feel frustrated. Remember, a single moment does not define an entire relationship. Having perspective will help you let certain frustrations go.
  4. If you're living with someone, sometimes it's hard to see them as an individual. You may think of your sister in terms of a family role. For example, you may think, "My sister is the smart one" or "My sister is the goody-two-shoes." Try to look beyond these definitions. Push to see your sister as more of an individual.
    • Pause when you find yourself labeling your sister. Take a second to question the validity of this label. Does your sister see herself this way? Is there anything about your sister that does not fit with this label?
    • Focus on aspects of your sister's personality that don't fit with the label you have. Maybe you think of your sister as a jock more than an intellectual. Pause and consider the fact she just aced her chemistry final.
  5. Spending time with your sister is vital to learning to appreciate her. The two of you will bond if you share activities. Work on spending some time with your sister each week.
    • Attend your sister's basketball game after school. Accompany her to her next piano lesson. Ask her to join you in turn. You could, for example, invite her to your upcoming art show.
    • Hang out during the day as well. Watch a movie with your sister after school. Play a game together. Talk about things like movies, books, and music.
    6. Advertisement
Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Managing Conflict With Your Sister

PDF download Download Article
  1. The worst thing you can do in a conflict is reacting right away. If your sister hurt your feelings, pause before reacting. Take a few deep breaths and try doing something like counting to five. [6] This will prevent you from blowing up at your sister, potentially making the situation worse.
  2. Use your words to handle conflict. Do not scream and yell, as you are not really communicating. Never resort to physical violence, as this will only make things worse. You also do not want to accidentally hurt your sister during an argument. [7]
    • Let your sister know that she has hurt or upset you. Use simple language to explain the unacceptable behavior instead of getting angry in return.
    • For example, say something like, "Ella, do not pinch me. Pinching hurts." This is more effective than yelling or pinching back.
  3. Certain topics may simply cause arguments. Maybe your sister dislikes discussing something at school. Maybe there's an issue you simply disagree on. If certain topics tend to only lead to conflict, you may be better off avoiding them. No one sees eye-to-eye on everything all the time.
  4. If you're having trouble managing an issue with your sibling, talk to a parent. Your parents want you and your sister to get along. They will be happy to mediate if the two of you are having an issue.
    • Do not bring it up in a negative way. You do not want your parents to think you're being argumentative or mean. Present yourself as wanting to resolve the issue rather than get your parents on your side.
    • For example, say something like, "Dad, I'm having trouble with Sophie lately. Can you give me some advice on how to talk to her about how she read my diary?"
    5. Advertisement


Expert Q&A

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    How do you get your sister to respect you?
    Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles.
    Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Stop name calling and practice kindness instead. You can really get in a tit-for-tat name calling extravaganza if this kind of behavior goes unchecked.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 8 Helpful 14
  • Question
    How do I get closer to my sister?
    Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles.
    Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Be relatable and approachable! Dismissing her will only drive a wedge between the two of you. Also, make an effort to really listen to her and be interested in her life.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 8 Helpful 20
  • Question
    How do you get your sister to stop making fun of you?
    Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles.
    Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Take a moment to breathe and count to ten. Try not take the name-calling personally—she's actually acting out because she has some unmet need. With this in mind, tell your sister that you would appreciate being spoken to respectfully, and that you'll give her the same courtesy.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 7 Helpful 23
See more answers
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Reader Videos

      Tips

      • If your sister looks upset, ask her what's wrong. Showing concern will strengthen your relationship.
        Thanks
        Helpful 4 Not Helpful 1
      • Try to make her laugh! Humor can help bring people together, and lessen tension in certain situations.
        Thanks
        Helpful 3 Not Helpful 2
      • Find things that you both like doing so you can do them together. Turn this into your special time together.
        Thanks
        Helpful 2 Not Helpful 2
      Show More Tips

      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • If your the older one you know that little sisters can be really annoying. Sometimes you'll wish they'd go away or you want to tell them you think they are mean or annoying. Instead, you should be the bigger person. When a little sibling says you're mean or rude, they are trying to get you to snap. If you can resist, they will usually stop.
      • If you're an older sister, be open to suggestions. If you want to hang out, try to do the things your younger sister wants to do more than what you want to do. For example, play with dolls, teach her how to braid, or take her to the park. Then switch things around and do what you want to do for a couple of days.
      • Sometimes your sister may want to vent to you about her problems. You should listen and offer her support and reassurance. Be sure to offer a positive view of her problems. Always remind her that she can make light of any situation.
      • Even if your sister is giving you a hard time, you should still treat her the way you want to be treated. I have been mean to my sister, but I know that one day we’ll be best friends. We still have a lot of growing up to do.
      • If you have a really bad fight, talk it out with someone other than your sister. Once you're feeling better, try to talk to her. Sometimes, though, both of you just need to stay away from each other for a little while.
      • When your sister is annoying you, let her know that what she is doing is hurtful and ask why she is doing what she is doing. Kindly ask for an apology.
      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
      Advertisement

      You Might Also Like

      How to
      Make Your Brother Happy
      How to
      Be Nice to Your Brother
      How to
      Be a Good Big Sibling
      How to
      Get Your Older Sister to Be Nice to You
      How to
      Get Along with Your Little Sister
      How to
      Comfort Your Sister when She Is Crying
      How to
      Be Kind to Your Sister
      How to
      Connect to a Sibling Who Ignores You
      How to
      Have a Bond with Your Sister
      How to
      Apologize to Your Older Sister
      How to
      Be a Good Brother
      How to
      Mend a Relationship with Your Sibling
      How to
      Be a Good Sister
      How to
      Have a Better Relationship With a Younger Brother
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert. Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.
      2. ↑ https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/sibling-fighting-5-ways-to-teach-your-kids-to-get-along/
      3. ↑ Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert. Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200703/can-grown-siblings-learn-get-along
      5. ↑ http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/siblings/siblings-101
      6. ↑ Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert. Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.
      7. ↑ http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/siblings/siblings-101

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To get along with your sister, praise her when she does something well to show her you care. For example, say, “Good job, I’m proud of you” if she gets straight A’s. If your sister annoys you when you're trying to work or relax, tell her that you need some personal space rather than getting angry with her. To get to know her better, find activities you can do together, like playing a board game or going to the mall. Try to comment on your sister’s good qualities, such as her willingness to help you with your homework or her passion for reading, since focusing on her good points will help you feel less frustrated when you fall out. For tips on how to manage conflicts with your sister, read on!

      Did this summary help you?
      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 347,606 times.

      Reader Success Stories

      • Tiana Faygins

        Apr 12, 2017

        "This helped me a lot because today I got into an argument with my sisters--all 3 of them and my little cousin. ..." more
        Rated this article:
      More reader stories Hide reader stories
      Share your story

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement