How to Ask for a Girl’s Phone Number Confidently (Online & IRL)

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Dating experts share how to get her number without being awkward
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If you've met a girl you like, asking for her phone number is the next step in forming a great connection and setting up a date. It’s totally normal to feel nervous, but luckily, it’s not as intimidating as it seems! In this article, we’ll explain how to get a girl’s number without being creepy or awkward. We also interviewed dating experts and matchmakers for advice on how to approach a girl with confidence and initiate an engaging conversation.

Asking for a Girl’s Number: Advice from a Pro

Dating coach Imad Jbara explains that you should give a specific reason to get a girl’s number. He recommends incorporating details from your conversation or using your environment to help you. For example, if you discussed a TV show, you might say, “Let me get your number so I can text you when season two comes out.”

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Starting the Conversation

  1. Introduce yourself at the start of the conversation. Whether you’re approaching her from across the room, sharing a joke as strangers, or meeting in a group of mutual friends, you’ll need to properly introduce yourself first. You could start with an opening line or question to break the ice, or, if it makes sense for the situation, lead with the introduction. Either way, make eye contact, smile warmly, tell her your name, and ask for hers. [1]
    • If you’re attending a new guitar class, you could say something like, “Hey, have you been to one of these classes before?” Then follow up with, “My name’s Corey, what’s yours?”
    • If you’ve been chatting for a few minutes but you haven’t exchanged names yet, just pause to say “I’m David, by the way.” She’ll probably share her name, too, or you can ask for it.
  2. When it comes to getting a girl’s phone number, it comes down to comfort and trust—she has to feel comfortable enough to share that information with you and trust that you’re not weird or creepy. [2] Focus on creating a fun and positive atmosphere, instead of worrying about how to get her number. If you’re both relaxed and comfortable around each other, it’ll make it easier for you to ask, plus increase your chances of getting her number.
    • Dedicate your efforts to asking her questions, making her laugh, or finding common ground.
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  3. Actively listen to her and ask open-ended questions . Take your conversation up a notch by asking questions that can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” Start with topics related to the situation you’re in, then move towards more personal topics related to her work, studies, friends, or family. You can follow up by asking about her personal tastes, ambitions, and opinions. Just be sure to give her your full attention to show that you care about her responses and are eager to and get to know her better. [3]
    • To actively listen , angle your body toward her, maintain eye contact, get rid of distractions, and restate what she’s saying in your own words.
    • If you’re chatting on social media, you can slide into her DMs by asking about her recent posts, then branch off into more meaningful topics.
    • Imad recommends “using your environment to help you.” If you’re at a library or bookstore, for example, you could approach a girl for book recommendations to “build conversation and take it to the next level.” That way, “she’ll feel more comfortable” and it won’t seem like you’re just trying to get her number.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 405 wikiHow readers which conversation topic they’d be most interested in discussing with a girl they’re dating and getting to know, and 6% of them said What she does for fun. [Take Poll]
  4. Start flirting to show you’re romantically interested in her. If your conversation seems to be going well, move it into a more flirtatious zone to make your intentions clear. Get your charm on, playfully tease her, or compliment her skills, smarts, personality, or appearance. Use open body language, or break the touch barrier politely to show you’re attracted to her. [4]
    • When flirting, try to make her laugh with witty banter or a joke. You can also express interest by gently grazing her arm or hand.
    • If you decide to tease her , keep it light. Share a funny observation or a good-natured joke: “It sounded like someone in our class really needs to get their guitar strings tuned up… Was that you?!”
    • If you’re chatting online, emojis can "add a playful tone to your messages and help convey your sense of humor," says dating coach and professional matchmaker Laura Bilotta. Send a 😉, 😈, or 😏 to lighten the mood and be flirty over text.
  5. Once you take your conversation to a deeper level, chime in with your own meaningful responses. Share a short and sweet childhood story that makes her heart melt, talk about how much you love your pet or your siblings, or be honest and vulnerable when discussing your work and ambitions. Strike a balance between showing off your humorous, flirtatious sides with your softer side to show that you’re not just hitting on her, but that you actually want to get to know her. [5]
    • After she explains what she does for work, you could say something about your aspirations, such as, “That’s so great that you’re a teacher! I love working with kids, too. I’m actually a Little League Coach for my younger brother’s team.”
    • Unless she asks you to continue, turn the spotlight back to her with another question like “What grade level do you teach?” or “Do you like baseball?”
    • Avoid interrogating her in a one-sided conversation—focus on holding a balanced conversation and a comfortable environment in which you can both start opening up.
  6. Research shows that women are attracted to confident and assertive men. [6] So, stay calm to lead the interaction and make her feel comfortable. Being confident in yourself and in your intentions shows that you respect her time and aren’t playing games. [7] Chances are, if she thinks you feel good about who you are, she’ll feel good about you too!
    • If you exhibit confidence, it’ll seem like you’re successful at getting girls’ numbers and make you look more desirable.
    • It’s totally normal to feel nervous, but if you show signs that you’re anxious or jittery, it might look like you’re not used to talking to girls, or that you’re usually turned down. This might make her worry that there’s something off about you.
    • Calm yourself down by considering how the worst-case scenario really isn’t that bad. The worst thing that can happen is that you ask for her phone number, she declines to give it to you, and then you end the conversation. You’ll survive!
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Asking for Her Number

  1. If she’s laughing, teasing you, asking questions back, or seems genuinely interested in the conversation, it’s the perfect time to get her number. Asking for her number too early can seem abrupt and unnatural, so you want to take the time to build rapport and establish a connection. If you’d like to continue getting to know her, you could say something like, “Hey, it was really nice talking to you. Mind if I got your number so we can hang out sometime?” [8]
    • Don’t wait until the very end of the conversation, once the energy has started to die down, to ask. Instead, ask her during the high point, when you’re both relaxed and having fun together.
    • If you get her number during the middle of the conversation, don’t head off immediately after. This might make her think you’re just in it to “score,” rather than connect with her. [9]
    • If she keeps looking around the room, checking her phone, or doesn’t seem engaged during the conversation, it likely means she’s not interested in you. Wait until your next conversation to improve your chances of getting her number, or move on and talk to another girl.
  2. Try framing your request around asking her out on a date . If you really like the girl, instead of simply asking for her digits, invite her to go out with you. Make your intentions clear by asking her to grab food, go on a hike, or some other activity. In the middle of your great conversation, you might say, "I’ll have to go soon, but I really want to keep up this conversation over dinner or drinks next week. What do you think?” If she says she likes the idea, say “Great! Let’s exchange numbers so we can coordinate.” Always give her a reason to exchange numbers! [10]
    • If you’ve been messaging on social media, say something like, “Let’s take this offline…I’d love to get your number so we can arrange a proper date soon.”
    • This approach eliminates the uncertainty around your request. She might be reluctant to give you her number if she doesn’t know why you’re asking for it.
    • Just make sure you follow through and stay true to your word. If you say you’ll arrange a date, text her within 24 hours with the details.
    EXPERT TIP

    Connell Barrett

    Dating Coach
    Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."
    Connell Barrett
    Dating Coach

    Assume she feels the same way about you. The best way to ask for a girl’s number is to take the lead and approach the situation like it’s a done deal. Instead of begging for her number or worrying about rejection, be confident that she likes you. You might say, “I’ve enjoyed talking to you. Let’s trade numbers.”

  3. Instead of asking for a favor or pleading for her number, take a more confident and assertive approach. Tying your ask into making future plans is a great way to express interest in her and show that you’re serious about wanting to hang out together. If you’re talking about food, for example, you could say, “Hey, let me get your number so we can grab food sometime,” or “I’m gonna need your number so you can send me your favorite spots.” [11]
    • For a less assertive approach, phrase your request like: “Can I get your number..” or “I’d like to get your number...” Just be sure to follow up with your reason: “... so we can go out sometime” or “... so we can talk more soon.”
  4. This is a great way to sneak your request into your conversation. While chatting, think of an article link, video, meme, or anything else you could text her a link to. Make sure it’s something she’d enjoy or get a laugh out of. Mention it casually and explain specifically why you think she’d like it. Then, once she’s excited about it, transition into getting her number in order to send her the link or media.
    • If you know she likes a certain guitarist, you could say, “I just saw this incredible cover of one of their songs on YouTube, I think you would love it! Can I send it to you?” Then pull out your phone and say, “So, what’s your number?”
  5. If you want to take the pressure off of her or she specially requests for your number instead of giving out her own, input your name with something fun that relates to the conversation you’ve just had or where you’ve met. For example, you could type in something like, “Cute Guy @ Coffee Shop (Jake)” or “Free Food Pass (Adrien).” [12]
    • If she doesn’t hand you her phone, you can take the initiative by jotting down your number on a napkin or piece of paper, along with a cute message that relates to the situation.
    • Don’t just slip her your note and run—watch her reaction and see if she smiles or laughs. If she does, you could ask cutely, “Can I have yours, too?” If she looks a little uncertain, play it cool and explain that you’d love to coordinate a date sometime.
  6. Instead of asking for her digits with “Can I have your number,” try phrasing it as a suggestion for something you could do together: “Let’s swap numbers so we can set up that date next week,” or “Hey, how about we exchange numbers so we can keep talking?” Be sure to deliver your suggestion with an upbeat, encouraging tone so she’s more likely to agree. [13]
    • If you present it as a fun thing you could both do, she won’t feel like you’re putting her on the spot.
    • To get her number after connecting on social media, explain that you’re interested in swapping numbers to take your conversation out of the app and into the real world.
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Responding Respectfully

  1. Present your phone to make getting her number an easy process and a no-brainer that she won’t want to refuse. As you’re talking to her, pull up the “Add New Contact” screen on your phone, and hand your phone to her so she can type in her name and number. [14]
    • This tactic works well in a noisy environment, like a bar or a concert. She won’t be able to mistake your visual cues and you won’t have to strain to hear the numbers as she recites them for you.
  2. Text her right after you get her number. Even if you’re still sitting across from each other, shoot her a cute, funny message so she has your number, too. Send something short and sweet that’ll make her smile but that doesn’t interrupt your conversation too much. That way, you’ll eliminate the awkwardness of not knowing when to make the initial call or text. [15]
    • How quickly she replies can also help you gauge her level of interest in you—the ball is in her court now.
    • Try something like, “It’s James, the suave guitar player you just met,” or be a little more forward by asking her out on the spot with your first text: “Hey, it’s Peyton, your date for next Friday (?)”
  3. Whether she already has a partner or isn’t interested in dating at the moment, accept her decision without any hard feelings. It’s not okay to force someone into giving you their number, and it can make them feel uncomfortable, scared, or upset. Instead, end the conversation in a polite and friendly manner, then walk away. [16]
    • Try saying something like, “Oh, that’s okay. Well, it was great to chat with you anyway. Hope you have a good night!” or “No worries, it was really nice meeting you. Have a great day!”
    • Remember, there are so many reasons why a girl might not give you her number, including ones that have nothing to do with you. Don’t take things personally, and accept it for what it is.
    • If she declines your offer, but you had a good conversation,, you can ask for her social media handle to be friendly. Most girls feel more comfortable doing this than giving away their phone number.
    • Don't be discouraged if your plan doesn't work. The more times you ask for a girl’s phone number, the more you’ll improve and increase your chances of getting it. You should be proud of yourself for trying and putting yourself out there! [17]
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Join the Discussion...

How to smoothly ask for a girl's number?
WikiCheetahTamer353
WikiCheetahTamer353
There's a girl I run into a lot on campus. I don't know her, but we smile at each other and I think I'd like to ask for her number, but I don't know how to do this without seeming...Idk, like a creep? Or desperate? Is it weird to just........ask a stranger for her number? If not, how do you do it (with at least a little rizz)? What do you even say??
Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
The best way to ask for a girl's number is to not ask so much as lead. Strike up a conversation the next time you see her. While you're talking, give her a compliment, like, "Hey, I enjoy talking to you, you're really funny, you're really witty, I've enjoyed this. Let's trade numbers," then take out your phone and assume that she feels the same way. Feel confident about it. Don't say, "Hey, can I please maybe get your number?" Instead, be confident and approach it with an attitude of, "Hey, of course we're going to trade numbers, we clearly like each other."

Remember that the phone number should be exchanged as a byproduct of a nice flirtatious connected conversation. It's not a trophy. It's not the reason for the conversation. It's simply a byproduct of two people connecting and getting closer, who want to see each other again.
Anonymous WikiMist
Anonymous WikiMist
That's all great advice. I'd also add that in order to not come off creepy (which is something I worry about sometimes myself), it helps to have an actual conversation with her before asking for her number. So if you only like this girl because she's cute and smiles at you, maybe your next step should be chatting with her for a few minutes and then ask for her number if you feel like you're vibing.

You're at school, ask her what classes she's taking. If you're at a cafe, ask her if she's tried the new crazy beverage. Simple conversation starters that can get the ball rolling. Like the commenter above said the phone number is a byproduct of connecting and a sign you both want to get closer and see where that connection can go.
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  • Question
    How do you give a girl your number?
    Connell Barrett
    Dating Coach
    Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."
    Connell Barrett
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    If you want to exchange numbers, the best way to do it is to take out your phone and tell them you'd like to trade numbers. For instance, you might say, "Hey, I've really enjoyed talking to you! Let's trade numbers so we can get a drink some time." Don't think of the phone number as a trophy—it's a byproduct of two people connecting and hoping to see each other again.
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      Tips

      • It’s important to be respectful when asking for a girl’s number because it shows you value her boundaries. Do not make any inappropriate remarks or gestures. [18]
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      • Women want to feel safe, so do not ask for her number at work or when she can’t exit the situation. A great strategy is to disclose that you only have a few minutes so she doesn’t have to engage in a long conversation with you. [19]
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • While girls are attracted to confidence, they don't like cockiness. You shouldn't brag about yourself or put other people down when you talk to her.
      • Before approaching a girl, read her body language to see if she's in a good mood. If she seems stressed or upset, it's best to leave her alone.
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      Warnings

      • Don't have your friends ask for you or try to trick her into giving you her number through some kind of goofy prank. The girl will likely think you were too cowardly to ask for her number directly.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-approach-girls/
      2. ↑ https://youtu.be/hN-Ryu4-8DE?t=47
      3. ↑ https://youtu.be/nRvjjmvgnxc?t=500
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-psychology-of-relationships/202404/the-science-of-flirting
      5. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-flirt/
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/as-you-like-it/202310/what-women-want-in-a-man
      7. ↑ https://youtu.be/nRvjjmvgnxc?t=110
      8. ↑ https://youtu.be/5FvGismfdXA?t=94
      9. ↑ https://youtu.be/hN-Ryu4-8DE?t=317
      1. ↑ https://youtu.be/nRvjjmvgnxc?t=544
      2. ↑ https://youtu.be/hN-Ryu4-8DE?t=129
      3. ↑ https://youtu.be/nRvjjmvgnxc?t=714
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201112/break-the-ice-how-talk-girls-and-guys-0
      5. ↑ https://youtu.be/hN-Ryu4-8DE?t=248
      6. ↑ https://youtu.be/nRvjjmvgnxc?t=735
      7. ↑ https://youtu.be/hN-Ryu4-8DE?t=281
      8. ↑ https://youtu.be/EBURTUtWEts?t=367
      9. ↑ https://youtu.be/nRvjjmvgnxc?t=481
      10. ↑ https://youtu.be/nRvjjmvgnxc?t=260

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      Asking a girl for her number can be intimidating, but all you need is a little confidence to make it happen! When you feel ready, start a conversation with her and introduce yourself if you aren't already acquainted. Keep the conversation light and positive to project a fun, approachable vibe. A compliment wouldn't hurt, but try to play it cool with something casual like, "You have a really cute laugh." If she’s enjoying your company, ask if you can text or call her sometime. You could also tell her you want to text her a funny link or video and get her number that way. If she says no, don’t be discouraged or upset. Instead, tell her it's no big deal and that it was nice to meet her anyway. For more advice, including what to avoid when you’re asking a girl for her phone number, keep reading!

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