How to Get a Separation in North Carolina

Method 1
Method 1 of 2:

Getting a Separation on Your Own

  1. If you and your spouse are legally married and looking to get separated, you can do so by simply moving into separate households. When you and your spouse move into separate households, you must do so with the intent to live apart and separate permanently. You do not need to file any court documents and you do not need to sign papers in order to get legally separated. [2]
  2. Once you and your spouse separate, you cannot reconcile or your separation will automatically be nullified. In North Carolina, reconciliation occurs when there is a resumption of marital relations, which is defined as a voluntary renewal of the relationship, as shown by the totality of the circumstances. [3] The North Carolina courts define the totality of the circumstances to include all of the factors in a given case, rather than any one factor. [4] Some of the factors a court will look at if your separation is ever challenged include whether you and your spouse:
    • Moved back in together;
    • Shared household chores;
    • Indicated to friends or family that your problems have been resolved;
    • Accompanied each other to public places while holding yourselves out as being married; and
    • Engaged in sexual intercourse. [5]
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  3. While it is not required in North Carolina, you might choose to enter into a separation agreement with your spouse. [6] A separation agreement is a validly executed contract that states the terms under which you and your spouse will live apart. [7] The agreement usually covers issues about child support, child custody, and the division of property. [8]
    • A separation agreement must be notarized in order to be valid. [9]
    • A judge does not need to sign off on a separation agreement to make it valid. [10]
    • For a good sample separation agreement, look here .
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Method 2
Method 2 of 2:

Filing for a Divorce from Bed and Board

  1. If you can afford a family law attorney, you should consider hiring one to help you navigate the divorce from bed and board process. See this article for directions on how to find a good family law attorney. Even if you cannot afford a full-service attorney, many attorneys provide limited services at a reasonable cost. This means you may be able to hire an attorney to prepare your documents, give you limited legal advice, or potentially even teach you about this area of the law, without having to pay the attorney to take on the entire divorce from bed and board process.
  2. In North Carolina, if you feel as though you deserve a separation but your spouse will not move out, you may be able to file for a divorce from bed and board. A divorce from bed and board is a legal action brought by the injured spouse asking the court to order the other spouse out of the marital residence. [11] In order to file for a divorce from bed and board, you must be able to prove that your spouse has done one or more of the following:
    • Abandonment . [12] Abandonment occurs when your spouse either moved away or forced you to move away. [13]
    • Malicious turning the other out of doors . [14] This occurs if you have been kicked out of your house by your spouse. [15]
    • Cruel or barbarous treatment that endangers the life of the other spouse . [16] This includes domestic violence, emotional abuse, or other forms of personal abuse that may occur. [17]
    • Indignities to the person of the other . [18] For this to apply, you must be able to show a pattern of public humiliation, degrading treatment, and/or physical abuse. [19] A single occurrence of any of the above will not be sufficient. [20]
    • Excessive use of alcohol or drugs . [21] You must be able to show that substance abuse is regular and that it has interfered with a happy marriage. [22]
    • Adultery . [23] You only need to be able to prove one single incident for this to apply. [24]
  3. A complaint is a legal document you will submit to your local court in North Carolina setting forth certain factual allegations. [25] When you are writing a complaint asking the court to grant a divorce from bed and board, you are going to include the following information:
    • An introduction, which will include a general discussion of what you want the court to do and why you believe you deserve it.
    • A venue and jurisdiction statement, which is a simple statement telling the court that you believe they have jurisdiction over the case and that they are the correct venue for your case.
    • An introduction of the parties, which is a series of paragraphs that will tell the court who the parties to the case are. In this case, you will introduce yourself and your spouse, which will include providing names, addresses, and your relationship to one another.
    • Factual allegations, which will include a series of factual statements explaining your story and why you deserve a divorce from bed and board.
    • A claim for relief where you will tell the court that the facts alleged constitute a valid ground for divorce from bed and board.
  4. Once you have written your complaint, you will take it to your local courthouse and file it with the clerk of courts. When you file your complaint, you will tell the clerk of courts what your case is about and they will file it and schedule a hearing. There will be a filing fee you will be required to pay when you file your case. [26] The fees will vary depending on what court you file your case with. [27] If you want to waive the court filing fees, you will have to write to the court stating that you have a just cause. [28] The most common just cause is an inability to pay the fees due to a lack of income.
  5. Once you file your complaint, you will be required to deliver a copy of your complaint, and a summons, to an authorized individual so those papers can be served on your spouse. [29] A summons is a document that lays out what your spouse will have to do to respond to your complaint. In North Carolina, the sheriff is the most common individual who is authorized to provide service duties. [30] Once you deliver the required documents to an authorized individual, that individual will deliver your documents to your spouse.
  6. Once your spouse has been served and they have responded, you both will appear at the court hearing and argue your case in front of a judge. When you appear in court, wear appropriate professional attire, which should include a suit and a tie. Also, when you speak to the judge, do so in a professional manner and avoid swearing or talking in a condescending tone. In court, the judge will ask you and your spouse to tell them why you deserve to win the case.
    • From your perspective, you will want to tell the judge the facts that tend to prove that one of the grounds for a divorce from bed and board has been met. You will already know the facts surrounding your argument because you will have put them in your complaint.
    • In addition, bring any evidence you may have that might help your case. For example, if you are arguing that you deserve a divorce from bed and board because your spouse has excessively abused drugs or alcohol, bring evidence that will help you prove that. Evidence could take the form of rehabilitation bills, voice-mails that were left while your spouse was intoxicated, bank statements showing the amount of money your spouse spends at liquor stores, or testimony from friends and family that your spouse has a problem with drugs or alcohol.
  7. Once the judge reaches their conclusion, they will sign a court order. The court order is a document containing the judge's decision and this document will set forth whether you have been granted the divorce from bed and board you asked for. If you are granted your divorce from bed and board, you or your spouse will be required to move out of the marital residence and you both will have to start living separately. If you were denied a divorce from bed and board, you can either accept that decision or appeal it to a higher court.
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      References

      1. ↑ http://info.legalzoom.com/file-legal-separation-north-carolina-26588.html
      2. ↑ https://www.ncaj.com/?pg=Separation_and_Divorce
      3. ↑ https://benderlefantelaw.com/how-can-you-prove-reconciliation/
      4. ↑ https://benderlefantelaw.com/how-can-you-prove-reconciliation/
      5. ↑ https://benderlefantelaw.com/how-can-you-prove-reconciliation/
      6. ↑ http://info.legalzoom.com/file-legal-separation-north-carolina-26588.html
      7. ↑ https://www.rosen.com/divorce/divorcearticles/breach-and-enforcement-of-separation-agreements-in-north-carolina/
      8. ↑ https://www.rosen.com/divorce/divorcearticles/breach-and-enforcement-of-separation-agreements-in-north-carolina/
      9. ↑ https://www.rosen.com/divorce/divorcearticles/breach-and-enforcement-of-separation-agreements-in-north-carolina/
      1. ↑ https://www.rosen.com/divorce/divorcearticles/breach-and-enforcement-of-separation-agreements-in-north-carolina/
      2. ↑ https://www.rosen.com/divorce/divorcefaqs/what-is-divorce-from-bed-and-board/
      3. ↑ http://www.speakslaw.com/library/divorce-from-bed-and-board-north-carolina-s-separation-law.cfm
      4. ↑ http://www.speakslaw.com/library/divorce-from-bed-and-board-north-carolina-s-separation-law.cfm
      5. ↑ http://www.speakslaw.com/library/divorce-from-bed-and-board-north-carolina-s-separation-law.cfm
      6. ↑ http://www.speakslaw.com/library/divorce-from-bed-and-board-north-carolina-s-separation-law.cfm
      7. ↑ http://www.speakslaw.com/library/divorce-from-bed-and-board-north-carolina-s-separation-law.cfm
      8. ↑ http://www.speakslaw.com/library/divorce-from-bed-and-board-north-carolina-s-separation-law.cfm
      9. ↑ http://www.speakslaw.com/library/divorce-from-bed-and-board-north-carolina-s-separation-law.cfm
      10. ↑ http://www.speakslaw.com/library/divorce-from-bed-and-board-north-carolina-s-separation-law.cfm
      11. ↑ http://www.speakslaw.com/library/divorce-from-bed-and-board-north-carolina-s-separation-law.cfm
      12. ↑ http://www.speakslaw.com/library/divorce-from-bed-and-board-north-carolina-s-separation-law.cfm
      13. ↑ http://www.speakslaw.com/library/divorce-from-bed-and-board-north-carolina-s-separation-law.cfm
      14. ↑ http://www.speakslaw.com/library/divorce-from-bed-and-board-north-carolina-s-separation-law.cfm
      15. ↑ http://www.speakslaw.com/library/divorce-from-bed-and-board-north-carolina-s-separation-law.cfm
      16. ↑ https://www.rosen.com/divorce/divorcearticles/navigating-basic-court-procedure-in-north-carolina/
      17. ↑ http://www.nccourts.org/Courts/Trial/Documents/court_costs_chart-Oct2014-civil.pdf
      18. ↑ http://www.nccourts.org/Courts/Trial/Documents/court_costs_chart-Oct2014-civil.pdf
      19. ↑ http://www.mecklenburgdwi.com/waiving-trial-court-costs-north-carolina/
      20. ↑ http://www.serve-now.com/resources/process-serving-laws/north-carolina
      21. ↑ http://www.serve-now.com/resources/process-serving-laws/north-carolina

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