How to Get Along with Gay Men

If you find yourself feeling hostile to or irritated by gay men, or if you aren't sure how to interact, this article should help reduce those feelings and help you understand that gay men are perfectly normal human beings, just like everyone else.

Steps

  1. Not all gay men fit the stereotypes that we see everywhere in modern culture. Don't try to make them. Acknowledge that each gay man, like each human being, has his own personality and interests, and get to know him as a person rather than a stereotype.
    • Not all gay men like shopping and fashion. Some like football, painting, or snuggling with a cat and a funny movie. Gay people are just as diverse as heterosexual, bisexual, and asexual people. Their sexuality doesn't control their interests.
    • Get to know a gay man as an individual, rather than assuming he fits a certain mold.
  2. Just like other groups of people, gay men are a diverse group. If you've met one gay man, you've met one gay man. His actions (good or bad) do not speak for the gay community as a whole.
    • Don't ask him to offer "the gay perspective" on an issue, because gay people (and LGBTQIA people) think independently of each other and may come to different conclusions.
    • Don't hate all gay men because you met one guy you didn't like or one guy who treated you badly.
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  3. Society may stereotype them this way because their sex is different, but that does not mean that they think about sex all the time. Gay men are no more likely to be pedophiles, rapists, or sexual harassers.
  4. Just as you have a 'type' of the people you're attracted to, gay men have a type of men they like. (And they usually prefer people who are capable of liking them back.) Gay men might evaluate other men based on their physical attractiveness and how well they fit their preferred type, just like straight women do.
  5. Most gay men, perhaps even more than most men in general, will be perfectly polite and understanding if they have feelings that are unrequited. Gay men are perfectly capable of keeping their hands to themselves.
  6. Know that gay men are, above all, people just like you. Their sexuality does not have to be the defining aspect of your friendship with them.
    • Listen to them without judgement. [1]
    • Make them feel comfortable and safe. Let them know they have people who they can rely on. [2]
    • Tell them you want to support them and ask them what you can do to be a good friend. [3]
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-to-support-a-transgender-friend-or-family-member-0605154
      2. ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-to-support-a-transgender-friend-or-family-member-0605154
      3. ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-to-support-a-transgender-friend-or-family-member-0605154

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