If you find yourself feeling hostile to or irritated by gay men, or if you aren't sure how to interact, this article should help reduce those feelings and help you understand that gay men are perfectly normal human beings, just like everyone else.
Steps
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Look beyond the stereotypes. Not all gay men fit the stereotypes that we see everywhere in modern culture. Don't try to make them. Acknowledge that each gay man, like each human being, has his own personality and interests, and get to know him as a person rather than a stereotype.
- Not all gay men like shopping and fashion. Some like football, painting, or snuggling with a cat and a funny movie. Gay people are just as diverse as heterosexual, bisexual, and asexual people. Their sexuality doesn't control their interests.
- Get to know a gay man as an individual, rather than assuming he fits a certain mold.
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Know that each gay man is different. Just like other groups of people, gay men are a diverse group. If you've met one gay man, you've met one gay man. His actions (good or bad) do not speak for the gay community as a whole.
- Don't ask him to offer "the gay perspective" on an issue, because gay people (and LGBTQIA people) think independently of each other and may come to different conclusions.
- Don't hate all gay men because you met one guy you didn't like or one guy who treated you badly.
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Understand that gay men are no more sexually active or perverted than straight men are. Society may stereotype them this way because their sex is different, but that does not mean that they think about sex all the time. Gay men are no more likely to be pedophiles, rapists, or sexual harassers.
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Understand that you might or might not be viewed as romantically attractive. Just as you have a 'type' of the people you're attracted to, gay men have a type of men they like. (And they usually prefer people who are capable of liking them back.) Gay men might evaluate other men based on their physical attractiveness and how well they fit their preferred type, just like straight women do.
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Recognize that gay men deal with romantic attraction just like heterosexual men. Most gay men, perhaps even more than most men in general, will be perfectly polite and understanding if they have feelings that are unrequited. Gay men are perfectly capable of keeping their hands to themselves.
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Always be polite and considerate. Know that gay men are, above all, people just like you. Their sexuality does not have to be the defining aspect of your friendship with them.Advertisement
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