How to Handle Discipline Like Supernanny

If you've ever watched the TV show "Supernanny" before, you know that Jo Frost has specific discipline styles. If you have any rowdy kids in your life, you can use some of her advice to improve your approach to discipline and, in turn, their behavior.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Setting the Stage for Discipline

  1. Discuss your disciplining procedures with your significant other and your children's caretakers. Supernanny Jo Frost always tries to ensure the mother and father are on board with the same teaching method and approach. Everyone in the home needs to stick to the same rules and consequences.
  2. What exactly these say will depend on your home and family's needs. Ensure these rules are clear-cut, set in stone, and prominently displayed so your children can see them.
    • If your children can't read yet, explain to them what you mean by each rule. For safety-related rules, in particular, illustrate what you mean.
    • Be realistic. Focus more on safety and danger-related rules than on trivial or minor ones.
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  3. Don't look for trouble; focus on your daily routine. If you spot trouble, tackle it accordingly. Give praise where praise is due, and follow your normal plan until your children act up.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Using a Naughty Spot for Young Children

  1. Where you decide to place it, will depend on your child's actions and home setup. It needs to be available constantly; don't pick where the child will be distracted or get in the way. If you have more than one child who consistently acts up (such as in the manner of twins or two siblings close in age), ensure that you have one seat/spot for each child.
    • In the show, at first many kids were easy enough to discipline that loose boundaries were used like a rug or "naughty spot". But later, some kids were more troublesome and needed clearer, isolated naughty areas and others still needed a cool-off/reflection room where they could reflect on their actions.
    • Make sure the spot isn't too comfy. Although padded chairs generally aren't allowed, some Supernanny episodes used small rugs, and others where chair cushions were used. Most often, the easiest spots to use consisted of nothing more than the floor in a corner away from most of the action in the room.
    • Don't blame outside factors for their bad behavior. Although bad behavior stemmed from several different episodes' different reasons, in one episode of the first season featuring the Tsironis family Kate (the child) acted up, complaining of "foot cramps", but these cramps all turned out to be ploys to get more of mom's attention. [1] Even if your child is craving attention, they need to learn to get it through positive means, not bad behavior.
    • Whatever kind of naughty spot you use, make this area known to every child.
  2. Stoop down and make complete eye contact with them. Explain the situation and what you will have to do if they act up again. Give them their sole warning. Supernanny always encouraged something like "(Child's name), please stop this (action) right now or I'll have to put you in the naughty area!"
    • Use authoritative voices when you speak to them. They need to see that you controlling them, without them controlling you. They will see that you mean business!
    • Don't pussyfoot around the problem. Get the job done and tell them straight up.
  3. Explain why you have put them there, and how long their punishment is set for. Supernanny encouraged the parents to say "I have placed you here on the naughty spot because you did (this action). Stay here."
    • Avoid using their bedroom or nursery as their Naughty Area. Your child will associate these rooms as their punishment spots and isn't a great connection to make for bad behavior!
    • Don't place the child in places where other safety hazards exist close by. Keep them away from the oven, radiators, etc, and other dangerous areas.
  4. Supernanny's method was to allow one minute for each year of age of the child.
    • You can use an oven clock, a microwave clock, a hand-held timer, or your cellphone timer.
  5. If they get off this spot, return the child to the naughty area without talking to them. Restart the timer from the time you set them back down. If the child gets back up, return them to the area each subsequent time, and follow through.
    • Ensure they serve one full cycle of naughty-area time without interruption.
    • If items are placed on shelves near the naughty area, you'll need to watch for your children's temper tantrums and relocate their naughty areas to other spots.
  6. Go over to the child and explain for the last time why they were put there. Supernanny always advised parents to use "Ask them to tell you that they are sorry. Use something along the lines of "(Mommy, daddy, grandparent, etc.) has placed you in the Naughty area because of your (action). Please tell me that you are sorry." Afterward, kiss and cuddle them to tell them you accept their apology, and that was always mentioned.
    • If they do not apologize, they will need more time in the naughty area. Add one more round of naughty area time. Repeat this as long as necessary until the child can admit to their wrongdoing. However, over-repetitive naughty area times can be emotionally scarring, so don't abuse your power as the parent. They should get the point after a few times.
    • If you have a child who hasn't stopped misbehaving after the time is complete, be consistent with the method and keep using it until they do. This is done to ensure the child realizes that their parents still love them, but they still need to behave; Consistency is key.
    • Remember eye contact. If the child looks away or replies rudely, this could lead to more trouble later. Repeat the naughty area until they are sincerely apologetic.
  7. Let them know you love them, and let them go back to what they were doing with a clearer and calmer head. If they misbehave again, repeat the routine, but if not, provide praise for handling themselves better.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Using a Reflection Room for Tweens/Teens

  1. This can be a bedroom, a living room away from the family room, or someplace where the child can cool off and gather their thoughts.
    • Bring your partner in on your decision, if you'd like to use this room as a "discussion room" for your child and you. This is up to you, but be consistent; the same room can serve as a place for your child to calm down and for you all to talk about the issue afterward.
    • In the example of 2005's Cooke family, Supernanny used a rarely-used dining area with chairs. [2] But in a later episode with the Duan-Ahn family, a living area's chair facing away from entertainment was used. [3]
    • Choose an area where no breakable furniture exists or the things in it can be repaired without loss.
  2. Older children will still need a warning about the potential consequences of their behavior. You may need to bend over to get down to their level and look them in the eye; make sure they know you mean business. It's easy to lose sight of the child when they've acquired more privileges, yet still need to know that bad behavior is unacceptable.
  3. The Reflection Room is used as a space for the child to chill out and calm down so they can think about what happened.
    • In one episode, Supernanny had the child write their reasons for being in the room. If this might help your child, give them paper and a notebook to share their thoughts, feelings, frustrations, and possible solutions. Consider asking them why they were placed in the room, as well as which rules they broke and how they can avoid having to be placed back in that room again in the future.
    • On others, the child was asked to sit on a chair away from the rest of the action in the house.
  4. Again, Supernanny's landmark times are 1 minute for every year of age the child is. This sets the general amount of time you'd want them to stay and "cool down" when they show problematic behavior. However, if you're having them write about their frustrations and rule-breaking, too, you may need to provide more time.
  5. Go over to the child, and ask them why they feel they've been put in the reflection room. Team build and develop a strategy/plan for avoiding having to use it.
    • When you're done making a plan, let them be proactive about behaving better; cuddles/hugs and kisses and send them on their merry way.
    • In the Duan-Ahn family episode, the father discussed it with the child on a nearby sofa, which Supernanny called the "Talking Couch."
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      Tips

      • According to Supernanny's book, she said that kids apply and understand rules by age 2 1 / 2 . Otherwise, you will need to figure out the reasons why the children act up if they are younger. [4]
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyIc1dX5NQc&ab_channel=Supernanny
      2. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEsZHuOzeZw&ab_channel=Supernanny
      3. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6UQIJJC3mI&ab_channel=Supernanny
      4. ↑ Supernanny: How to Get the Best From Your Children by Jo Frost, ISBN 9781401308100
      5. Ask Supernanny: What Every Parent Wants to Know (book), ISBN: 1-4013-0864-3 (c)2006
      6. http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Discipline-and-Reward/Make-the-Naughty-Step-Work-for-You.aspx - research source
      7. various Supernanny TV shows

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