How to Have an Attitude

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If you're tired of feeling unheard or taken advantage of, the idea of developing a tough, sassy attitude may appeal to you. All you have to do to have an attitude is make slight adjustments to your behavior and demeanor: be assertive, question authority, seem disinterested, and say whatever comes to mind. Just remember that having an attitude can get you into big trouble with your friends and with authority figures, so think carefully before committing to this change.

Part 1
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Getting Basic Attitude

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  1. You want to make sure that your personality is dominating and that your presence can't be ignored. Otherwise, who is going to notice that you've got attitude? Practice doing this so that you can pull it off naturally.
    • Assert your independence by not following along with things just because they are popular (clothing styles, popular music, t.v. shows, movies, etc.).
    • Act as if you are far better than other people and therefore more deserving of things. [1] You want to couple this with your assertiveness. Do things like borrow your sister's clothes without permission, heckle your parents into buying you an iPhone, play your music really loudly late at night when other people are trying to sleep. Never apologize for your actions.
    • Be stubborn. When people try to get you to act differently, do something you don't want to do, or change your behavior, make sure that you stick to your guns. You're going to have attitude however other people feel about it.
  2. When you have attitude you're going to get a lot of flak for the way you're acting. People (in particular, adults) are not going to be happy with you and they'll probably try to mete out punishment. To have proper attitude, you'll need to ignore these consequences, or do things in spite of the consequences. [2]
    • Ignore what you don't want to deal with and dismiss anything except what you want to do. This means not doing your homework, or your chores and spending the time watching movies, playing video games, hanging out with your friends, etc. instead.
    • Ignore reality. Everything that you do is going to have consequences. The more you have attitude towards the authority figures in your life, the more you're going to be punished. Likewise ignoring things like school, trying to get a job, or expecting things to simply fall into your lap, are probably not going to work out well for you. To maintain your attitude, you're going to have to ignore these potential consequences.
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  3. Part of having an attitude is questioning the people who have the power to make you do things you don't want to do and punish you if you don't do them. Learning to question their decisions and commands is actually a useful skill that develops your independent thinking. [3]
    • Use the phrases "But so and so's mom always lets her do it" or "But everyone else gets to do it," when you're trying to get your parental units to do let you do something they don't want you to do.
    • Always ask why when someone asks you to do something (this works especially well for parents and teachers). For example, if you hate math, make sure to ask your math teacher what the point of algebra is. If your parents set a bedtime, challenge that bedtime and ask them why you have to go to bed at that time.
    • Disobey rules. Another way to have attitude and severely irritate those in authority, is to disobey the rules that they set in place. When they punish you (if they catch you), act like you don't care and ignore the punishments, as well.
    • Do things like stay out past your curfew, borrow the car without permission, go out with friends without telling anyone where you are. When you get grounded, or otherwise punished, ignore the punishment.
    • Constantly push the boundaries, at school and at home, to see how far you can go without getting in trouble. Just operate under the assumption that everyone has a breaking point and that you can push them to it by constantly arguing with them, lying to them, and rebelling against their rules.
  4. Copping an attitude means not giving a single care about other people. You need to have an air of "I'd rather be anywhere but here" whatever it is that you're doing. This is especially important when your parents, or authority figures want you to do something. [4]
    • The use of “yeah, whatever” to any attempt to get you engaged in activities that you don't want to do, and a scoffing laugh, can get your attitude across perfectly well.
    • Using sarcasm can be a very effective tool to showing your disinterest and superiority. These phrases are particularly good for having an attitude (said in a sarcastic tone): “how interesting” and “I am so glad you told me that."
    • Laugh derisively when given a suggestion or a talking to by an authority figure. This will show them how little you care for their opinion.
    • Make sure that when people are talking to you that you are busy texting on your phone. You can also do this in class when you're not interested in whatever the teacher has to say.
    • Be uncommunicative. When your parents take an interest, make sure to respond as shortly as possible. For example: when they ask “How was your day?” you shrug and mutter, “Fine.” If they ask “What are you doing this weekend?” just say, “eh...whatever.”
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Part 2
Part 2 of 2:

Taking Your Attitude Further

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  1. You need to make sure that people notice your attitude and one way to do that is to dress with the intent of showing how little you care, or by actively trying to piss people off.
    • Wear things your parents won't approve of like clothing that doesn't fit you right, has inappropriate slogans on it, or is dirty and ripped.
    • Create your own style. You want to make sure people know that you don't care what they think about you and one way to do that is to be obvious about crafting your own style. Remember, you don't just want to wear all black to show your attitude (anyone can do that), you want to make yourself unique .
    • Piercings and tattoos are all the rage with the rebellious and those who are trying to really piss their parents off. You will need to be over 18, however, to get a tattoo or piercing without parental consent, unless you go to an disreputable place (and that's bad for things like infections, so it's not recommended.
  2. Body language is the perfect way to communicate how you're feeling. Showing the proper amount of attitude means using the right body language, so that other people know what's up.
    • Cross your arms across your chest. While this is a defensive gesture, it can also be a gesture of irritation or boredom and can mean that you aren't interested in the person or persons you're with.
    • Rolling eyes is a great way to express irritation or derision towards another person. Whatever they say make sure to roll your eyes, especially if you've gotten in trouble for breaking rules.
    • Not making eye contact or making too much eye contact are good ways to show attitude. Not making eye contact can be really irritating to other people because it shows a lack of interest on your part. Making too much eye contact can be intimidating.
    • Slamming doors and making a lot of angry noise (like playing angry music really loudly) can show your displeasure and disrupt everyone else's life. It's especially good to use this tactic after you've had an argument with an authority figure. [5]
  3. Your room is your own personal realm and you get to rule it however you want, and that includes letting people (like your family) into it, when and if you choose to do so. [6]
    • Yell at family members who try to come into your room. Put signs on your door that it'll be instant death for anyone who tries to come into your room without your express invitation.
    • If someone knocks on your door, tell them to "go away!"
  4. Don't filter the things that you say. If they're rude, so what? You're looking to have an attitude and an attitude means not caring how the things you do and say affect others. [7]
    • Point out the mistakes of others. When people screw up (especially adults like your parents or your teacher) make sure that you ridicule them for it. Say things like "Oh my god, mom, I can't believe you burnt dinner. Can't you do anything right?" [8]
    • Speaking your mind is a great skill to cultivate and it is also one that will serve you well if you're copping an attitude. If someone is wearing a truly hideous outfit, make sure that you tell them so. If your friend is acting like an idiot over a boy, make sure that you mention it loudly.
  5. This is an important part of having an attitude, because the attitude comes from the belief that you are better than everyone else (hence pointing out mistakes, and shooting down suggestions). Act like people's time and energy belongs to you (especially people like your parents; definitely take them for granted).
    • Act like you know everything. When someone tries to change your mind or convince you otherwise, simply laugh at them or roll your eyes and walk away. [9]
    • Never say "please" or "thank you." These are phrases that are way to polite and mannered for your attitude, so you'll want to avoid them at all costs. Never try to help out around the house and definitely don't try to give your teachers at school a hand, even with something simple like holding the door for them.
  6. You will want to make sure that you're hanging out with people who support your attitude, which basically means hanging out with people that your parents won't like or approve of; people who have as much attitude as you do.
    • You can easily find these people at school, as long as you cultivate an air of disinterest in them and in everything, they'll be dying to be friends with you.
    • You definitely want to make sure that the people you're hanging out with are people who aren't going to tell on you to your parents that you stayed out past curfew or your teacher that you haven't done your homework all year.
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  • Question
    Is it good to have an attitude?
    Jessica Elliott, ACC, CEC
    Certified Executive Coach
    Jessica Elliott is a Certified Executive Coach and multi-passionate entrepreneur. She's the founder of LIFETOX, where she hosts mindful experiences and retreats, and J Elliott Coaching, which she provides executive consulting for professionals, teams, and organizations. Jessica has had over fifteen years experience as an entrepreneur and over five years of executive coaching experience. She received her ACC (Associate Certified Coach) accreditation through the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and her CEC (Certified Executive Coach) accreditation through Royal Roads University.
    Jessica Elliott, ACC, CEC
    Certified Executive Coach
    Expert Answer
    I don't think so. If you feel that you're lacking the authority you’d like, I would start with relationship building. Strong relationships motivate people to eventually execute the things you'd like them to do with no need of being rude. Create strong, genuine relationships, and you’ll create partners who look up to you, regardless of anyone’s title or position.
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  • Question
    How can I handle peer pressure?
    Peggy Rios, PhD
    Counseling Psychologist
    Dr. Peggy Rios is a Counseling Psychologist based in Florida. With over 24 years of experience, Dr. Rios works with people struggling with psychological symptoms such as anxiety and depression. She specializes in medical psychology, weaving together behavioral health programs informed by empowerment theory and trauma treatment. Dr. Rios uses integrated, evidence-based models to provide support and therapy for people with life-altering medical conditions. She holds an MS and Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Maryland. Dr. Rios is a licensed psychologist in the state of Florida.
    Peggy Rios, PhD
    Counseling Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Broaden your circle of friends to ensure diverse social connections. Take your time to carefully choose friends who share your values and interests. If you surround yourself with a supportive and like-minded social network, you'll be less susceptible to negative influences. Recognize the importance of being aware of your friends' interests and whether they align with your own. If you find yourself in a circle of friends who engage in activities that make you uncomfortable, it's a sign that you may need to expand your social circle. Overcoming peer pressure involves overcoming the discomfort of saying no. Many times, calmly asserting your boundaries is well-received by your peers. Don't be afraid to decline invitations or express your unwillingness to participate in activities that go against your values. Challenge yourself to say no and observe the positive outcomes. People often find that their peers respect their decisions when they communicate calmly and confidently. Don't let fear hold you back from asserting your own choices. Saying no can lead to healthier relationships and a stronger sense of self.
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      Tips

      • Don't think so much of people who dislike you. If you have an attitude you're going to create a lot of people who don't like you, so be prepared for that.
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      • Don’t take it too far and be outright rude and inconsiderate to others. No one likes a mean person, and in real life you can’t act like Regina George and get away with it.
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      Warnings

      • If you have a bad attitude people will recognize you as bossy - even a bully. So watch out!
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      • Copping an attitude with teachers, parents, and authority figures may get you into trouble. Even if you haven't done anything bad, they will see your attitude as "trouble" and treat you accordingly.
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      Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about human behavior, check out our in-depth interview with Ryan Tremblay .

      References

      1. ↑ https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1067429.pdf
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/childhood-emotional-neglect/202201/3-problems-caused-by-ignoring-your-emotions
      3. ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2016-48343-005
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201606/how-and-why-play-hard-get
      5. ↑ https://intermountainhealthcare.org/blogs/the-power-of-attitude
      6. ↑ https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/the-importance-of-our-personal-space
      7. ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1975-27626-001
      8. ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/346900728_The_Role_Of_Negative_Personality_Traits_In_Psychological_Adaptation
      9. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/character-traits/

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      A big part of having an attitude is acting sassy and dominant. Be assertive to make sure your presence is known and be confident in who you are. For example, don’t follow along with clothing trends just because they are popular, and be stubborn in your decisions if somebody tries to change your mind. Another part of having an attitude is ignoring consequences to show that you don’t care. Don’t do your chores or your homework even if it means getting into trouble. Questioning authority figures like parents and teachers can also make you have an attitude. Disobey the rules they put in place and act like you don’t care if you break them. For more tips on having an attitude, like how to have a sense of entitlement, read on!

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