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Experts offer the best ways to communicate with your partner and find solutions
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It's not a big deal if your partner has trouble getting or keeping an erection once in a while—it happens to most men at some point. However, if it starts happening frequently, he might be suffering from erectile dysfunction, or ED. ED can be caused by underlying health issues, so it's definitely something your partner needs to talk to his doctor about, but you might be wondering how you can help, too. Luckily, we're here to answer your most important questions, from what causes ED to how you can work around it.
Things You Should Know
- Encourage your partner to talk openly about how he’s feeling. Many men are embarrassed by erectile dysfunction, and safe communication can help.
- Bring up the topic in a matter-of-fact way outside of the bedroom and reassure him that you’re here to help.
- Consider medication or other medical treatments to improve your partner’s condition. Remember, his ED is not your fault.
Steps
Question 7 of 9:
What are the causes of erectile dysfunction?
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Narrowed blood vessels are often to blame for ED. If blood can't get into the penis, an erection can't form. Similarly, reduced blood flow can mean that the penis can't trap enough blood to maintain an erection if one does form. Conditions like high blood pressure, high cholesterol, arteriosclerosis, and long-term smoking can cause the blood vessels to narrow. [9] X Trustworthy Source American Academy of Family Physicians Organization devoted to improving the health of patients, families, and communities Go to source Other medical causes of ED might include:
- Nerve-related issues due to diabetes, stroke, spinal cord injury, or heavy alcohol or drug use.
- Low testosterone or other hormone-related issues
- Certain drugs or cancer treatments [10] X Research source
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Situational issues can be a factor, as well. Sometimes, there's not a specific medical issue to blame for ED. For instance, a man might have a hard time getting an erection if he's nervous or stressed, or if he's had too much to drink. [11] X Research source
- Other emotional causes of ED might include depression, anxiety, relationship problems, or being insecure about their sexual performance. [12] X Research source
- Sometimes, frequently masturbating to pornography can lead to performance issues in the bedroom, because real sex isn't always as stimulating as porn. It might help if your guy takes a break from porn for a while—have an honest conversation with him if you think that's the problem. [13] X Research source
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Question 9 of 9:
What are some ways to treat erectile dysfunction?
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Regular exercise and losing weight can sometimes help. If your partner is just starting to struggle with the symptoms of ED, making healthy lifestyle changes might make a difference. Also, if he's a smoker, encourage him to quit, as smoking can be a factor. [16] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public Go to source
- If you think emotional or relationship issues might be to blame, consider couple's or individual therapy. If he's suffering from depression or anxiety, a combination of therapy and medication might be appropriate.
- Talk to your partner and his doctor about treatment options if you think heavy drinking or drug use could be contributing to his ED.
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Doctors commonly prescribe oral medication for ED. There are several types of prescription medications available for ED, but they all work in the same general way. They help relax the muscles of the penis, making it easier to get an erection during sex. However, they typically won't cause an erection on their own—your partner will still need to become aroused, so these medications aren't as effective if the cause of ED is something like stress or anxiety. [17] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public Go to source
- Common ED medications include sildenafil (Viagra), vardenafil (Levitra), avanafil (Stendra), and tadalafil (Cialis).
- These medications may not be safe if you take certain medications, like nitrates for chest pain, or if you have heart disease, heart failure, or low blood pressure. Talk to your doctor about these and any other health concerns.
- Avoid herbal treatments for ED unless your doctor recommends them—these aren't regulated by the FDA and can sometimes lead to dangerous side effects.
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Ask about injections, suppositories, and medical devices. If your partner doesn't respond to oral medications (or if he isn't a good candidate for them), his doctor may recommend alternative treatments. For instance, some ED medications are administered via a tiny needle at the base of the penis. He might also need to insert a small suppository into his urethra. Other treatments might include:
- Penis pumps [18] X Trustworthy Source MedlinePlus Collection of medical information sourced from the US National Library of Medicine Go to source
- Inflatable or bendable penile implants [19] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
- Testosterone therapy if the cause is hormonal [20] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public Go to source
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Reinvigorate Your Sex Life with this Expert Series
All marriages go through an occasional dip. If you're feeling disconnected from your partner, use this expert series to assess the situation clearly and even rekindle your love life.
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The Best Ways to Handle Being in a Sexless Marriage
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I help my boyfriend with erectile dysfunction?Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).Make sure it isn't just a one-time occurrence. Start by talking about it; this can be difficult, but better to be open. Take the pressure off by just cuddling and touching and doing some sensory exercises with no pressure for genital-to-genital contact.
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References
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/7-strategies-for-partnering-up-with-ed-2020111921385
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/save-your-sex-life/201505/tips-and-tricks-managing-erectile-dysfunction-wo-pills
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/7-strategies-for-partnering-up-with-ed-2020111921385
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/save-your-sex-life/201505/tips-and-tricks-managing-erectile-dysfunction-wo-pills
- ↑ https://wexnermedical.osu.edu/blog/when-your-partner-has-erectile-dysfunction
- ↑ https://patient.info/news-and-features/how-erection-problems-can-affect-your-relationship
- ↑ https://wexnermedical.osu.edu/blog/when-your-partner-has-erectile-dysfunction
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/save-your-sex-life/201505/tips-and-tricks-managing-erectile-dysfunction-wo-pills
- ↑ https://www.aafp.org/afp/2000/0101/p109.html
- ↑ https://www.urologyhealth.org/urologic-conditions/erectile-dysfunction(ed)
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/save-your-sex-life/201505/tips-and-tricks-managing-erectile-dysfunction-wo-pills
- ↑ https://www.urologyhealth.org/urologic-conditions/erectile-dysfunction(ed)
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/save-your-sex-life/201505/tips-and-tricks-managing-erectile-dysfunction-wo-pills
- ↑ https://wexnermedical.osu.edu/blog/when-your-partner-has-erectile-dysfunction
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/10035-erectile-dysfunction#diagnosis-and-tests
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/5-natural-ways-to-overcome-erectile-dysfunction
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/which-drug-for-erectile-dysfunction
- ↑ https://medlineplus.gov/ency/patientinstructions/000985.htm
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/10054-surgical-penile-implants
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/a-logical-approach-to-treating-erectile-dysfunction-201211275583
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