Indirect Communication: What It Is (with Examples)

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Everything you need to know about indirect and direct communication
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Each person has their preferred way of sharing their wants and needs, and some can be more straightforward and direct while others are more strategic and indirect. Indirect communication is all about reading between the lines and looking at the bigger picture, and getting used to this communication style can take some time. Read on to learn all about what indirect communication is, how it's different from direct communication, and how to navigate interactions with people who prefer an indirect communication style.

Understanding Indirect Communication

Media and executive communication coach Lynn Smith says indirect communication is a communication style that is vague and doesn’t obviously reveal a speaker’s intentions or desires. It relies on a person’s body language, tone, and word choice to get the full message across.

Section 1 of 4:

What is indirect communication?

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  1. Rather than directly telling the other person what they want or feel, someone who uses indirect communication will often rely on things like their body language, tone, word choice, and surrounding environment to get the message across. In general, they rely heavily on the other person’s ability to understand and suss out what they’re trying to say.
    • For example, instead of directly asking for more time on an assignment, an indirect communicator might say something like, “I have a lot of meetings scheduled before the deadline, so it might be difficult to complete everything.”
    • Or, instead of voicing their frustrations toward someone, an indirect communicator might just give the other person the silent treatment or avoid interacting with them for a while.
  2. When someone uses indirect communication, they don’t often just come out and clearly say what they want, feel, or think. Instead, they tend to make comments that are somewhat related to the topic but require the listener to read between the lines and interpret what they’re trying to say. On the other hand, someone who uses direct communication will usually say exactly what they want. For example: [1]
    • Direct: “I want to move closer to my office.”
    • Indirect: “The commute to work is really long.”
    • Direct: “I need your help.”
    • Indirect: “You know more about this than I do, so can I ask you a question?”
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  3. With indirect communication, a person’s words only reveal a small part of what they’re trying to say, and they often rely on other things like their body language and the surrounding environment to get their message across. In the case of direct communication, speakers usually rely heavily on their words alone to convey what they want to say.
    • Direct: When someone’s frustrated or upset, they’ll likely tell the other person directly.
    • Indirect: Rather than explicitly saying they’re frustrated, this person might roll their eyes, sigh, or avoid talking to the person they’re frustrated with.
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Section 2 of 4:

What is direct communication?

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  1. Indirect communicators are more concerned with maintaining harmony, and use this communication style to show their respect to others and maintain others’ respect for them. They usually do so by using a softer and more ambiguous word choice. On the other hand, people who use direct communication are often more concerned with getting their message across rather than saving face. [2]
    • Direct: “There’s a major problem in our customer service department.”
    • Indirect: “What do you think of our customer service department? Is there anything you’re not satisfied with?”
    • Direct: “You’ve made several mistakes in this report.”
    • Indirect: “I think your report could be even stronger with just a few edits.”
  2. In low-context societies where direct communication is often preferred over indirect communication, people tend to be very casual and informal with both their peers and superiors. However, people in high-context societies are often very conscious of their relationships with others and their place within them. They’ll typically be much more formal and less personal with people higher up in their society’s hierarchy.
    • Direct: A person might share personal details of their life with their close friends, colleagues, and superiors at work.
    • Indirect: This person might speak very casually around their friends but then adopt a more serious and formal tone when talking to their boss.
  3. On the other hand, someone who prefers indirect communication might instead circle around the topic and soften their language to keep everyone happy. Instead of clearly refusing, they might offer different options or even just give in to the request in order to keep the peace.
    • Direct: “No, you can’t take Friday off.”
    • Indirect: “I think we’re going to be really busy on Friday and will need all the help we can get.”
    • Direct: “I’m not interested in working on this new project.”
    • Indirect: “I think I’d like to focus most of my energy on my current assignments. But I’d be happy to help if I happen to have some free time.”
    • While direct communication is more straightforward, a person risks coming off as offensive or insensitive to the listener, while indirect communication is often used as a means to soften the blow.
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Section 3 of 4:

Pros & Cons of Indirect Communication

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  1. In cultures that value indirect communication, direct feedback, whether positive or negative, can be very uncomfortable both for the person delivering it and the person receiving it. Direct positive feedback might mean that someone expects a favor to be done for them later, while negative feedback can come across harshly when given directly. Instead, feedback might look like the following: [3]
    • Positive indirect feedback: Rather than singling someone out and listing out the things they’re doing well, a person might use non-verbal communication to express their approval, such as smiling more, asking the other person about how they’re doing, or assigning them work that’s more in line with their strengths.
    • Negative indirect feedback: Instead of calling someone out and pointing out what they need to work on, someone might give group feedback or use encouragement to get the other person to address their weaker areas.
  2. One of the downsides of indirect communication is that there’s always the possibility that the listener could misinterpret what the speaker is trying to say. On the other hand, a person will usually state exactly what they’re thinking when they use direct communication, which leaves little room for misunderstanding. [4]
    • Direct: A boss explicitly tells their employee that they want a report done by Friday.
    • Indirect: A boss tells their employee that it would be great if they could get their report done as soon as possible but doesn’t give them a specific deadline. The employee interprets this to mean that they have a bit of time to complete the assignment when, in reality, the deadline is at the end of the week.
  3. With indirect communication, the sender typically shows more consideration for the reader by buffering the bad news with added context at the beginning. On the other hand, direct communication is often short and to the point with little need for extra information or context, so it’s especially useful when giving good news. [5]
    • Direct: A person might begin with a brief introduction but then immediately jump into the good news. An example would be an email that says something like, “We’d like to congratulate you on your promotion” right from the very first line.
    • Indirect: This type of writing will often start with a bit of a longer introduction as well as some background information about the situation. The actual bad news may not come until the second paragraph. For example, they might send something like, “Thank you for your interest in applying to our company. It was wonderful being able to speak with you during the interview and get to know you a bit better. Unfortunately, we aren’t able to offer you a position at this time.”
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Section 4 of 4:

How to Interact with Indirect Communicators

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  1. If you tend to lean more toward the side of direct communication, engaging with someone who prefers to state things indirectly can be frustrating and confusing at first. However, in order to maintain a good relationship, it’s important to remain open-minded and be flexible with your own style of communicating. [6]
    • For example, even though you may prefer to give feedback directly, it’s important to be considerate of the other person’s feelings and tailor your feedback style so they don’t feel uncomfortable or put on the spot.
    • Be patient when you run into difficulties. Avoid getting frustrated as soon as something goes wrong and instead make an effort to communicate any misunderstandings.
  2. The effectiveness of someone else’s indirect communication relies heavily on your ability to read between the lines and correctly interpret their message. Avoid simply taking things at face value and instead come up with a few different ways you can read their message. [7]
    • Take the person’s personal and cultural background into consideration. Do they come from a high-context society where indirect communication is more standard than direct communication?
    • Take some time to read the person’s body language and other non-verbal cues. Do these reveal any more information about the message they’re trying to convey?
    • Pay close attention to someone’s word choice and the situation’s context. For example, if someone says they’re “eager” to get your report and the deadline is coming up soon, it might mean that they want you to turn in your work as soon as possible.
  3. When you talk to someone in person, it’s easier to understand what they’re trying to say thanks to the non-verbal cues that face-to-face communication provides. Unlike when you send an email, you’ll be able to better interpret their emotions based on things like their tone and body language and hopefully avoid any misunderstandings. [8]
  4. Make an effort to actively listen to the other person. Sometimes, an indirect communicator’s message can easily be missed if you’re not listening carefully and giving them your full attention. Demonstrating good listening skills is also important in showing respect and letting the other person know that you value what they have to say. To practice active listening, do the following things: [9]
    • Get rid of any distractions and focus on the speaker.
    • Maintain eye contact and give other non-verbal cues to express your interest, such as nodding your head.
    • Restate what the other person said to show that you were paying attention and understood their message.
    • Ask open-ended or clarifying questions to continue the conversation and show that you’re engaged.
  5. If you’re confused or worried about misinterpreting something, there’s nothing wrong with saying that you can’t politely ask a question to get more information. This is especially helpful in avoiding miscommunications and misunderstandings. [10]
    • For example, ask for clarification by asking something like, “So you want me to finish the report by Friday, right? Or did you have another day in mind?”
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      • Indirect communication is common in high-context societies, seen in countries like Japan and Nigeria. People in these societies tend to be very conscious of their relationships with others and often use indirect communication to save face and maintain peace.
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      • On the other hand, low-context societies, such as those in countries like the United States and New Zealand, often communicate straightforwardly and are more likely to be personal and informal even with superiors.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/high-octane-women/201104/are-we-talking-the-same-language-how-communication-styles-can-affect
      2. ↑ https://hbr.org/2015/05/learning-the-language-of-indirectness
      3. ↑ https://ubuntu-communication.ch/resources/pdf/2017-Comm_direct_indirect_e_final.pdf
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/high-octane-women/201104/are-we-talking-the-same-language-how-communication-styles-can-affect
      5. ↑ https://walton.uark.edu/business-communication-lab/Resources/downloads/business-forms/Direct_and_Indirect_Communication.pdf
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/high-octane-women/201104/are-we-talking-the-same-language-how-communication-styles-can-affect
      7. ↑ https://hbr.org/2015/05/learning-the-language-of-indirectness
      8. ↑ https://www.aib.edu.au/blog/communication/why-face-to-face-communication-is-still-important-in-the-digital-age/
      9. ↑ https://www.usip.org/public-education-new/what-active-listening
      1. ↑ https://hbr.org/2015/05/learning-the-language-of-indirectness

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