Is 5'8" Short for a Guy?

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What the research shows about how women feel about your height in-person, on dating apps, and more
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Any heterosexual guy on Tinder these days is being bombarded with “must be 6’0” or taller” requirements, so it’s not shocking if guys everywhere are worrying that they’re short. If you’re 5’8” we’ve got a reality check for you—you’re not short. In fact, all of those height requirements you’re running into aren’t super realistic (less than 15% of guys are at least 6’0” tall), and most women care about a lot more than height anyways. We spoke with professional dating coaches Cher Gopman and John Keegan to get the inside scoop, so read on.

The Reality About Being 5’8”

The average height for men is 69 inches (180 cm), which translates to 5’9”. So if you’re 5’8”, you’re only barely below the average height for a guy. Nobody is going to be able to tell the difference between 5’8” and 5’9”, so worrying that you’re short is going to have more impact on how you feel than your actual height.

Section 1 of 4:

Is 5’8” short for a guy?

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  1. There have been a lot of studies on this. The average height for adult men is actually 69 inches (180 cm), which translates to 5’9”. [1] So, at 5’8”, you’re taller than about 90% of women and about 45% of men. In other words, you’re like most guys. You’re not short. [2]
    • There’s a lot of assumptions out there that guys who are 6’0” or taller are common. They’re not. Less than 15% of men are 6’0” or taller (and less than 1.7% of guys are 6’3” or taller). [3]
    • There are some slight differences from country to country. Wealthy states tend to have taller men, while poorer countries tend to have shorter men. [4] The tallest average is Denmark (men average about 6 feet tall), and the shortest average is Guatemala (men average about 5’3”). The global average is about 5’9, though.
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Section 2 of 4:

Do women care about height?

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  1. Studies differ on this, but it does appear that most women care more about kindness and intelligence in a partner than physical height. [5] [6] Things like political affiliation, personal goal alignment, and whether or not kids are on the table seem much more important for many women than height as well, especially when it comes to serious relationships. [7]
    • It’s important to note that you can be attractive without being tall. It’s not like every single “hot” guy out there is over 6 feet tall. Women certainly want to be attracted to their partner, but height is not equivalent to hotness.
  2. Professional dating coach and matchmaking service owner Cher Gopman says, “Many women who are on the taller side (and there are many of them), are dating shorter men than them. But even shorter women who say they won’t date shorter guys will change their tune when they meet him just because he was confident.”
    • It’s easy to talk in superlatives when you’re single (“I’d never date a single mom,” “I could never date a woman taller than me,” etc.). But when people meet someone really special, they often let go of all of those preconceptions.
  3. You have your own preferences, too! You are never going to be attractive to everybody , regardless of how tall or short you are. Believe it or not, there are women out there who wouldn’t date Ryan Gosling…seriously. If someone doesn’t want to date you, it’s not the end of the world. There are plenty of women who will like you for you. [8]
    • As dating coach John Keegan put it, “There are just going to be some people who aren't going to date you because you're short, because you're bald, because you’re from Denver, whatever.”
    EXPERT TIP

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Some women may prefer taller partners, but that's not everyone. What's more important is how you make a partner feel. Focus on your unique qualities, like charisma and personality. These qualities will be what gets you dates, regardless of your height.

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Section 3 of 4:

Key Things to Remember

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  1. John Keegan, a professional dating coach with expertise in dating and attraction, points out, “I think that the number one thing guys worried about their height need to realize is that you're going to be that height. Whether you’re really tall, you're really short, or somewhere in the middle, that’s you. So, you have to accept that and love yourself regardless.”
    • You can try wearing vertical stripes or wear shoes with thicker heels to try and make yourself look taller , and that’ll be great for a few additional inches temporarily, but you aren’t going to radically change your height.
  2. Professional matchmaker Cher Gopman points out that “once somebody's already committed to start dating you, height does not matter at all anymore. You've already passed all those tests. That's why they're dating you now, they're interested. They want to get to know you better. So, I'd say height doesn't matter when it comes to dating someone if you're already dating the person.”
  3. Again, 5’8” is not short for a guy. But in the event that you are on the shorter side, a lot of women are actually into that. Short kings are in right now. While a lot of studies do suggest that the average woman prefers to date tall, there are a lot of studies that actually suggest the opposite. [9]
    • The rise of the short guy seems to coincide with a growing appreciation for dad bods. As society continues to grow more equitable and realistic about beauty standards, things should get easier for shorter guys.
  4. Professional matchmaker and dating coach Cher Gopman has the insider scoop: “I know people will say that height matters prior to going on a date, but a lot of clients and friends that I've interviewed will say, ‘Oh, I only want to date a guy, 6’0” and taller,’ but then they meet a guy in person and he has a great personality, he's funny, he makes her laugh, he’s very confident, and all of a sudden she couldn’t care less about height.”
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Section 4 of 4:

Dating Tips for Short Kings

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  1. Cher Gopman “Height doesn't really matter when you have that inner confidence and you're fun to be around and you're sure of yourself.” In other words, give strong hugs, make eye contact, be vulnerable and open, and don’t shy away from a little physical contact if she’s into it. You’ll have the aura of a professional basketball player to her. [10]
    • People pick up on how you feel about yourself. If you’re anxious about your height and you don’t feel like you’re tall enough for someone, they’re going to pick up on that energy—so don’t put it out!
  2. If you are really worried about women judging you for your height, science says you’re best off aiming for women who are 8 inches (20 cm) shorter than you. This is the average preference among women according to a lot of studies, so if you’re 5’8”, aim to date women who are around 5’0” (only slightly below average, which is 5’3”). [11]
    • Shorter women may claim they want to date a really tall guy, but the practical issues can be a lot to overcome. Being 8 inches (20 cm) taller than someone is a lot , even if you’re 5’8” or shorter.
    • You’re at a huge advantage if you try dating shorter women, too. A lot of guys claim they won’t date women shorter than 5’1”, which is only 2 inches (5.1 cm) shorter than average. [12]
  3. In theory, the evolutionary value of being a tall guy is that women will feel protected. You know what else would make a woman feel safe? A yoked-out dude who’s in shape and can handle himself. Stay active, exercise , and lift weights to stay in shape. You’d be surprised how much this pays off with the ladies. [13]
    • Shorter men tend to be less fit than taller men, which may be the source of any major difference people perceive in terms of attractiveness. Maybe the height isn’t the important part, it’s just that shorter guys don’t stay as fit for some reason. [14]
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      • Fun fact, people have been (generally) been getting shorter over the years. [15]
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      • Short women actually face the same challenges as short men. Studies have shown that women who are shorter than average (which is around 5’3”) are viewed as less attractive by men. [16]
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/body-measurements.htm
      2. ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_03/sr03_039.pdf
      3. ↑ https://www2.census.gov/library/publications/2010/compendia/statab/130ed/tables/11s0205.pdf
      4. ↑ https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-17880-3
      5. ↑ https://helloclue.com/articles/sex/idealpartner
      6. ↑ https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2018/02/12/in-experiments-researchers-figured-out-what-men-and-women-really-want-in-a-mate/
      7. ↑ https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2020/08/20/key-takeaways-on-americans-views-of-and-experiences-with-dating-and-relationships/
      8. ↑ https://www.americansurveycenter.org/research/from-swiping-to-sexting-the-enduring-gender-divide-in-american-dating-and-relationships/
      9. ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/do-women-date-short-men-fancy-match-study-dating-height-dad-bod-brunette-blonde-a7935766.html
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-dating/202204/11-ways-build-dating-confidence
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/after-service/201909/5-reasons-why-women-and-men-care-about-height
      3. ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886907002814
      4. ↑ https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/02/140210114542.htm
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/after-service/201909/5-reasons-why-women-and-men-care-about-height
      6. ↑ https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/annual-change-in-average-male-height
      7. ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1993-09578-001

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