How to Kiss a Guy for the First Time

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Find out what to do before, during, & after your first kiss
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If you have a crush on a boy and he likes you back, you may want to take your relationship to the next level and kiss. Kissing a boy for the first time can be scary, but it doesn’t have to be. Even if you don’t know exactly what to do, learning can be fun! We’ve compiled tons of tips on how to kiss a boy for the first time, including advice on technique and how to prepare for the kiss from dating coaches Eddy Baller and Connell Barrett.

How to Kiss a Boy for the First Time

Make sure your breath is fresh. Dress nicely so you look and feel confident, and try to find the perfect time and place. Flirt to build tension by subtly touching his arm. Lean in, close your eyes, and try to mostly use your bottom lip. Open your eyes when you pull away.

Section 1 of 4:

Preparing For the Kiss

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  1. Fresh breath is important because you want to give your crush as many excuses as possible to keep kissing you. Try using Lifesavers or mints, and always brush your teeth before you meet up with him. Remember, bad breath isn't the end of the world, but practice good hygiene to avoid it if you can. [1]
    • Try not to eat strong, spicy, or garlicky food before you see him.

    Meet the wikiHow Experts

    Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada.

    Connell Barrett is a Dating Coach and Relationship Expert, as well as the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City.

    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City with over 15 years of professional experience.

  2. You can't always plan when and where you'll kiss a boy, but you can try to be prepared. If you're dressed up in a stylish way that makes you feel comfortable, you'll have a spring in your step. That means you’re likely to be more confident, and more confidence is usually a sign of more kisses to come. [2]
    • Try not to wear lip gloss or lipstick as they’ll rub off on your partner, making him look sparkly or sloppy, depending on the situation. Stick with lip balm instead.
    • Don't wear a bunch of accessories that could get in the way of the kiss, like hats or scarves.
    • Wear your hair up or out of your face. You may want to try kissing the boy when you have your hair up, so that he focuses only on you and the kiss, not the hair tickling his face.
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  3. Barrett sets the scene for a perfect first kiss: “This person is looking at you, making deep eye contact with you, and their body language is leaning in and matching yours. There are pauses in the conversation, but they're not awkward; they're romantically tense. You’ll hear that little voice inside saying, ‘It's time to kiss,’ and that's when you lean in.” [3]
    • Public places are generally not so good for the first kiss, as you can get people staring at you or even heckling you.
    • Try to find a place that's public, but still intimate, for you to share your first kiss.
  4. Flirting with him physically can help get the kiss ball rolling. This will not only make him understand that you like him, but will also give him some time to adjust to you, so that you're not going from 0 to 100 in a second. Baller says, “Start with a little bit of light physical contact, like massaging hands, moving up the arm, and building up the level of intimacy.” He says that doing ahead of the kiss will let you know how comfortable the other person is with physical touch and should help you know what to do. [4]
    • Start with a little bit of light physical contact to try and basically build up the level of intimacy. [5]
    • Hold his hand or put your arms over his shoulders. Start moving your body so that he's much closer to you; it'll be awkward if you have to move a long way to kiss him.
    • Touch his hair or face to make him know that you are interested. Gently touch his nose with your pointer finger and smile at him.
    • You can even try hugging him first, and while you're still hugging him, lean back and go in for the kiss. This creates a connection from the very moment you hug.
  5. Before taking this next step, make sure both of you are ready for this new level of intimacy, physically and emotionally. Kissing says "I like you more than just a friend," and it's sometimes hard to save a friendship after you have a relationship. If you're not sure whether you're doing the right thing, wait until you absolutely know.
    • Look him in the eye . While he's watching you, look slowly towards his lips and back again. If he does the same to you, then he's ready. If he looks a bit uncomfortable and looks away, it's best to leave it for a while.
    EXPERT TIP

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Ease into your first kiss. Start with a casual touch, like holding hands. As comfort grows, progress to a gentle arm around the shoulder. Read his body language–sustained eye contact and corresponding touch are positive signs. If all feels right, lean in slowly and wait for his response.

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Section 2 of 4:

What to do During the Kiss

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  1. You need to be able to see so that you can aim for his lips, but you don't want to keep your eyes open while you kiss, so close them right before your lips lock. [6]
    • Keep your eyes closed during the whole kiss. When the kiss ends, you can open your eyes, and you gently pull away.
    • Move into the kiss at an angle. That means if his face is straight up and down, you probably want yours tilted a bit to the left or right, whichever is more comfortable. This helps keep you from bumping noses together when you kiss.
  2. Don't pucker up your lips like you've just had a bunch of Sour Patch Kids, or like you're kissing grandma. Keep your lips loose and try to relax. Breathe in and out gently through your nose. Try not to breathe into his throat or onto his lips. [7]
    • Give him one long kiss. You don't have to do anything fancy to get his attention the first time.
    • Your goal is to get him to come back for seconds. Try to keep the first kiss to under 20 seconds if you can.
    • Don't French kiss on the first kiss. The French kiss is advanced, so save it for when you really want to blow his mind.
  3. This just means opening your lips a bit and maybe kissing his lower lip with both of your lips. Don't make it last too long — about 5 seconds — and be prepared to pull away soon.
  4. 4
    Close your eyes. This may sound like a no-brainer and something you’re likely to do naturally anyway, but you should close your eyes during the kiss as it sets the appropriate romantic tone. Someone who kisses with their eyes open may give the impression that they’re shocked or uncomfortable. You also want to avoid making eye contact with your crush during your first kiss, and keeping your eyes closed reduces the risk of awkwardness for both of you. Win-win!
  5. Show him open body language during the kiss, like hugging him around the torso or neck, and leaning into his body. If he puts his hands around your back or waist, it could mean that he’s really enjoying the kiss and you. Baller suggests going for the hips or hands during a kiss, which both work in standing and sitting positions. He adds, “Turn to each other a little bit at a 45-degree angle, so you reach over and grab her hand during the kiss.” [8]
    • If he plays with your hair or gently strokes your cheek, it's a sign that he's very in touch with his feelings, and he definitely likes you.
    • Remember to try to keep your eyes closed the whole time. No peeking! Your attention should be entirely on his lips and the kiss.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 508 wikiHow readers if using their hands while kissing makes the experience better, and 94% of them said yes. [Take Poll]
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Section 3 of 4:

What to Do After the Kiss

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  1. Now would be the time to take a look at the boy you've just shared a kiss with. If you did a good job, he'll be flushed, heavy-eyed, and smiling. [9]
    • Smile back at him. He may be nervous about how he kissed, so you'll probably want to convince him that he did a good job. You can do this by smiling.
    • If your arms are still around him, leave them there for a few seconds before taking them away. It might feel weird if you suddenly take your hands away as soon as the kiss is done.
  2. Sometimes, the kiss itself is enough of a statement. Other times, however, it wouldn’t hurt to say a little something after the kiss, like, "You're a good kisser," or, "I've been wanting to do that for a long time." You might also tell him how good he smells, how soft his lips are, or how nice it feels to press your body into his. Hot new couple alert? We think so!
    • You can also try saying something like, “I hope there’s more where that came from,” or, “That was nice, but I think we should try that again to be sure” for a bit more cheekiness.
  3. So, you've finally kissed the boy that you've been dying to kiss for the last six months. What now? You have a few options. For one, if you liked the kiss, you could wait for him to make the next move. If you went in for the first kiss, maybe you think it's his turn to initiate the next kiss. Be yourself , do what you normally do, but be extra friendly and encouraging around him. He should try to kiss you again. However, remember that the more you kiss, the higher the chances this could lead to a relationship. Other options include:
    • You could also try kissing him again whenever you want to. Maybe you don't care that much about who kisses whom, as long as there's kissing! That's fine, just make sure that he's into it, too.
    • Break off the kissing. Maybe he wasn't that good of a kisser, or he touched you in the wrong place, or you just get a bad feel from him. That's okay, too! Try to still be friendly around him, but don't put yourself in situations (i.e. one-on-one, private setting) where he could kiss you again.
  4. There are some unspoken rules that you should know about when beginning your kissing journey. Pay attention and try to follow them if at all possible. They include not kissing and telling, and not kissing when you’re sick, as you don’t want to spread germs.
    • Kissing and telling can be very easy to do. That doesn't mean it's right. What goes on between you and your crush is between you and your crush. Try not to gossip too much about it.
    • Kissing is a very intimate thing, but that doesn't mean that your kissing partner wants every single part of you, including your cold. Try not to kiss when you are feeling under the weather.
    • Kiss one person, not everyone. Kissing may be fun, but that doesn't mean that it sends the right message to go out and kiss everyone you want. Focus on one person you really like, try things out, and then move on to someone else if that doesn't work out. You'll be appreciated a lot more, and you'll probably be happier.
  5. 5
    Practice makes perfect. Don’t be disappointed if your first kiss isn’t the fireworks you thought it would be. Some, if not most, first kisses can be awkward and nerve-wrecking, so don’t beat yourself up too much if you’re not impressed by your— or his— performance. Baller says, “Practice makes perfect. So you're gonna want to kiss a lot to get good at kissing, and you can.” He offers a basic rule for kissing is to “match your partner,” whatever his movements are. Hopefully, he says, it’ll be like “yin and yang, the way they fit together nicely like that.” [10]
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Section 4 of 4:

Final Takeaways

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  1. Kissing a boy is fun as long as you know what to expect. Make sure that he is someone you know and trust, who is worthy of your affections. Try to relax and remember that you’re not supposed to be a kissing expert overnight. It takes practice, just like learning to play an instrument or riding a bike does. Everyone goes at their own pace and all of your more “experienced” friends were beginners once, too.

Join the Discussion...

I learned the average age for a first kiss is 15...
WikiRiverDancer770
WikiRiverDancer770
I'm 25 and haven't had my first kiss yet. I can't help but feel like I'm behind :( I feel hopless about my love life. Am I just doomed to be alone forever? How do I have my first kiss?
wikiHow Editorial Team
While 15 might be the average age according to some sources, there are plenty of people who were older than that when they had their first kiss. If you haven't had one yet, it doesn't mean you're behind and you're definitely not doomed to be alone forever! Try not to compare yourself to others. Everyone has their own timeline and journey. When you meet someone you connect with, your first kiss will happen naturally—and it will be worth the wait.
Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
For your first kiss, take it easy and build up to the moment. Start with a little bit of light physical contact. You might start by massaging her hand, then moving up her arm. You're basically building up the level of intimacy and also seeing how comfortable she is, because if she's not comfortable with this physical touch, she's not going to be comfortable with you kissing her either.

To look for an opportunity for your first kiss, wait for a pause where there's a lot of romantic tension—you're looking into each other's eyes and there’s that kind of awkward smile when you're looking at each other. You might just want to go for it then! Reach over behind her head gently or lean up to reach her and then go for a kiss. You're going to find out very quickly if it's going to work or not because she's either going to turn her head or move away or respond well and lean into it.

Usually in that kind of moment, it's easy to feel that romantic tension. You're both looking at each other's eyes very intently. You're both smiling. There's a pause. Nobody's saying anything. That's a great time to just go for your first kiss!
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Avoid Awkward Kisses with this Expert Series

Are you worried about having a bad kiss? These expert articles will build your confidence and help you avoid awkward situations.
1
Refuse a Kiss
2
Kiss a Shy Boyfriend
3
Move in Effectively for a Kiss
4
Kiss on a Dare
5
Avoid a Kiss
6
How to Avoid an Awkward First Kiss

Community Q&A

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  • Question
    What's wrong with keeping our eyes open while kissing?
    Community Answer
    It's not "wrong" to keep your eyes open during a kiss; however, scientific studies have found that it's difficult to focus on physical sensations (e.g., kissing) when your eyes are focused on something else, so closing them helps you and your partner to focus on how the kiss feels. (There's also the fact that extended eye contact can feel awkward or frightening to some people, and when you kiss, your eyes are level with your partner's; if your eyes are open, you're forced to make eye contact.)
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    Not Helpful 76 Helpful 721
  • Question
    What if he backs away when I kiss him?
    Community Answer
    Backing away means he's not interested in kissing you - it's body language for "I'm uncomfortable with this" or "You're invading my personal space, please back away." Before you kiss someone, it's generally a good idea to lean in a bit and give the other person a moment before you actually go in for the kiss; if he takes the moment to back away, turn his head away or starts talking, that means he doesn't want to kiss and you should pull back.
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  • Question
    What age do I have to be to kiss a boy?
    Community Answer
    It would depend on who you ask, but there's no real right answer. Some people would recommend waiting until you're in middle school or high school, while others might say to just wait until you feel ready. Talk to your parents about whether they have rules on when you're allowed to start dating, and don't feel pressured to kiss anyone before you're ready.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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      Tips

      • Don't lick your lips before you kiss. You don't want a wet kiss.
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      • If you are not comfortable with a long kiss like suggested in this article, it is fine to lean up to your crush and plant a quick peck on their lips, with your eyes closed. Then pull back and see if he was comfortable with it.
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      • Make sure your heads are tilting in different directions, or else your noses will push together.
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      Warnings

      • If you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to pull away at any time. Don't do anything that you don't want to do!
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      • Remember: not kissing them yet doesn't mean the end of the relationship— or the world.
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      • Wait until you’re 100% ready to kiss someone. You don’t have to kiss them just because you’ve started dating them.
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      • If you feel like he crossed a physical boundary and touched you without your consent, you have every right to tell him not to do it again and to end the relationship or friendship.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/17771-bad-breath-halitosis
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201310/does-everyone-find-confidence-attractive
      3. ↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      4. ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201202/how-flirt-and-seduce-touch-part-1
      6. ↑ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/affairs-of-the-lips-why-we-kiss/
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-asymmetric-brain/202102/the-kissing-brain-investigating-the-neuroscience-romance
      8. ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-science-of-love/201210/the-very-first-kiss-momentous-or-disastrous
      1. ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To make your first kiss with a boy as fun and romantic as possible, take a little time to prepare ahead if you can. Brush your teeth or use a breath mint, and put on a little lip balm to soften your lips. Find a quiet, private place where you can get up close and personal without being distracted or interrupted. To set the mood, flirt with your guy a little bit before going in for the kiss. Look for romantic ways to break the touch barrier, like holding his hand, stroking his hair or face, or putting an arm around him. When the moment seems right, lock eyes with him and move your face close to his. If he’s feeling it, he’ll probably lean in, too. But if you’re not sure, you can always ask him. Say something like, “I really want to kiss you right now. Is that okay?” Once you get the green light, close your eyes, tilt your head slightly to one side, and gently press your lips to his. Keep your lips relaxed and slightly parted instead of puckering up. As you kiss him, you can also put your arms around his waist, caress his arms or shoulders, or stroke his hair and face with your hands. Let the kiss linger for about 5 seconds, and remember to breathe in and out through your nose. When you’re done, gently pull back a little bit. Open your eyes, make eye contact with him, and smile. If you enjoyed the kiss, give his confidence a boost by saying something like, “That was amazing,” or “You’re such a good kisser.” From there, you can either move on with your conversation or turn it into a longer make out session—just try to relax and do whatever feels natural. For more tips, including how to compliment a boy after kissing him for the first time, read on!

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