For every person you see with a box of chocolates and bouquet of roses on Valentine’s Day, you hear someone else griping about the cheesiness and commercialism of the holiday. While you wouldn't think many people would complain about getting chocolates and roses, there are many ways to go above and beyond to show your Valentine they are cherished. Anyone can buy a stuffed bear and a box of candy hearts, but not just anyone knows your Valentine like you do. On February 14th, show them just how much your relationship means to you.
Steps
Part 1
Part 1 of 3:
Showing Your Valentine How Well You Know Them
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Remember the little things they say. That may sound simple, but it is easy to forget little sentiments that your significant other might mention offhand. Don’t start scrambling for Valentine’s Day ideas on February 13th- take note of their casual comments leading up to the day. This is crucial to all of the specific details you will need to plan later, regarding things like the meal and the gift.
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Determine your partner’s “Valentine’s Day style.” Some people would proudly walk down the street with a dozen roses and a helium Cupid balloon, while others would cringe at the very thought. Either is OK! Just make sure that you don’t make your Valentine uncomfortable with your gestures. Find out if they’re into grand gestures or low-key love notes.
- Some people proudly claim they’re “anti-Valentine’s Day.” If this is your partner, don’t take that to mean they are anti-love! No one says no to a little extra affection and encouragement on Valentine’s Day- even if they insist they don’t want to celebrate.
- Make sure you take their day-to-day routine into consideration when you start planning your meaningful Valentine’s Day. No one wants to be late to work because of a surprise breakfast-in-bed, or be forced to carry a life-size teddy bear on a New York subway.
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Ask yourself what makes your Valentine different. What makes your Valentine smile? Focus on their unique characteristics. Sure, the Valentine’s Day section of a grocery store is an easy place to start your planning, but that doesn’t make for a meaningful day.
- Don’t feel obligated to plan the traditional celebration or buy the cliché gift. Whether your Valentine likes beef jerky, reading trashy tabloids, or going to kickboxing class, try to incorporate their favorite things into the day. This shows that you have taken note of the things that make them happy.
- Through every step of the planning process, make sure that you create an experience tailored to your Valentine, and your Valentine only
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:
Planning the Special Day
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Give yourself plenty of time. This is important. If you scramble to put together your special Valentine’s Day, it will be pretty obvious. Give yourself plenty of time to make sure everything is perfect.
- If you are planning on taking your Valentine out to eat, make sure to make reservations far in advance. Restaurants book up quickly and the extra time will ensure you can eat where you want. The same goes for any activities or excursions you want to take your Valentine on.
- If you are ordering a gift online, give yourself extra time for shipping. It wouldn’t be ideal to give your Valentine an “I. O. U.”
- If you’re taking the creative route for your special day, give yourself plenty of time to pull it all together.
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Decide what would make your Valentine the happiest. Does he or she love eating at a certain restaurant, or prefer dining in? Do they relish any opportunity to dress up, or do they prefer being casual? Remember, a meaningful Valentine’s Day doesn’t look the same for every couple. A five-star restaurant and a night of dancing may be perfect for some, but Netflix and their favorite take-out could be the ticket for another. [1] X Research source
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Confirm with your Valentine. Even if you want to surprise them, make sure they are available and able to do anything you’ve planned. Feel free to keep the specifics to yourself, but at least let your partner the general plan. Nothing can put a damper on Valentine’s Day quite like showing up to a fancy restaurant in jeans or having to bail on a special trip because of work obligations. Just make sure they’ve penciled you in!Advertisement
Part 3
Part 3 of 3:
Finding the Perfect Gift
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Talk with your Valentine about your gift policy. Decide if you want to exchange gifts or if you want to skip them all together. This doesn’t ruin any surprise, but it will prevent any awkwardness if only one person shows up with a gift.
- Remember, sharing an experience together can be a gift in itself. Don’t feel the need to drop major bucks on an extravagant gift.
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Figure out if you are going to buy a gift or make a gift. This is when your careful memories (and possibly note-taking!) can come in handy. Did they point out something at the mall that they really want? Have they ever told you about their favorite gift they’ve received? All of these details will help you determine what to get them. [2] X Research source
- Think about your Valentine’s favorite things to do. If they’re a runner, give them some new running gear. If they’re a music buff, how about an iTunes gift card or concert tickets? Your gift should show your Valentine that you have taken note of the specific things they enjoy.
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Write a thoughtful card. [3] X Expert Source Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 7 August 2019. Whether you are making a gift, buying a gift, or not exchanging gifts at all, your words are the most special thing you can give your Valentine. This is your chance to be as sappy, funny, or creative as you want. A handwritten note will show your Valentine that you spent time finding the perfect words for them, and they'll have a permanent memento from the special day. [4] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source- Your Valentine's card is a good place to show your Valentine how committed you are to them. Let them know that your feelings are not fleeting. Cards that promise loyalty and commitment will leave your significant other feeling loved. [5] X Research source
- This is also a good place to explain exactly why you chose what you chose. Let your Valentine know why you think they’re so special, and how this gift complements that.
- Even if you aren’t exchanging gifts, a sweet card never goes unappreciated. This is an inexpensive and extremely meaningful way to show how much you care.
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Tell your Valentine exactly what they mean to you. [6] X Expert Source Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 7 August 2019. This should be done all year, but especially on this holiday. Don't let them forget how special they are and how much they mean to you. You have the chance to tell your partner just how much you admire and appreciate them, so don't take it for granted. Too often, people wait until it is too late. [7] X Research source- Your words are important, but your nonverbal cues can mean just as much. Maintain eye contact to show your Valentine that they have your undivided attention.
- Make sure that your body language is communicating the same message as your mouth. Try to lean in towards your partner, keeping your arms uncrossed, to show them there is no place you'd rather be.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I spend Valentine's Day with my girlfriend?Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).Try planning a fun date or meal together where you can spend some quality time with each other.
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QuestionWhat can I do for Valentine's Day at home?Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).If you have a favorite movie or TV show, spend some time together binging them.
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Tips
- Start a running list on your smart phone with ideas and add to it throughout the year. You can look back at it to remember hints they’ve dropped or little comments they’ve made, and it will show them how much you care and pay attention.Thanks
- Don’t worry about spending a lot of money. The goal of Valentine’s Day is to shower your significant other with affection and love, not cash. Your gifts from the heart can mean as much, or more, than any gifts from the mall.Thanks
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References
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/43-date-night-ideas
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kaela-worthen-gardner/9-tips-that-will-guarante_b_4338359.html
- ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 7 August 2019.
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2013/04/handwritten-notes-are-a-rare-c
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/valley-girl-brain/201409/what-makes-great-love-letter
- ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 7 August 2019.
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/debbie-gisonni/10-ways-to-show-people-they-matter-and-why-its-im_b_6172792.html
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