How to Make Your Boyfriend's Parents Love You

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When you’ve been dating someone for a while, it’s only natural to want their parents to love you, too. Making a good first impression and fostering a relationship with them will help you get on their good side (and stay there). In this article, we’ll help you prepare for that first meeting and get to know his parents to build a strong, close bond over time.

1

Ask your boyfriend about his parents.

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    The best way to make a good impression on your boyfriend's parents is to know a little about them ahead of time, so talk to your boyfriend about what to expect. Ask him about basic information like his parents' personalities and what they do for a living, as well as any household or cultural rules you might be expected to follow. [1]
    • Even if you’ve met his parents before, you can always learn new things about them! For instance, maybe his mom mentioned that she’s in a book club. You might ask your boyfriend, “Your mom said she runs a book club! Do you know how often they meet up?”
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2

Be sincere, courteous, and polite.

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    While you're visiting with the family, stay engaged in the conversation. Speak up when someone asks you a question, and listen when someone else is talking. Remember your manners, like saying please and thank you, and if you're dining at their home, offer to help clear the table after the meal. [2]
    • To offer to help clean up, say something like, “That was a delicious meal! I can help clear the table if you point me toward the kitchen.”
    • Reader Poll: We asked 749 wikiHow readers, and 52% of them agreed that the best way to make a good impression on your partner's parents is to offer to help out with cooking or cleaning . [Take Poll]
3

Compliment his parents.

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    If you’re eating dinner at their home, compliment the cooking or how their house is decorated. If you’re out and about, tell them how well they raised their son or how exciting their jobs sound. They’re sure to think of you fondly if you say nice things about them! [3] Try something like:
    • “That was such a delicious meal. Thank you both for cooking! I’ll definitely have to grab that recipe from you.”
    • “Your home is so beautiful! Where did you get your design inspiration from?”
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4

Ask them open-ended questions.

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    When you're making conversations, ask your boyfriend's parents about the things they enjoy, like their hobbies, careers, or places they like to visit. Try to avoid questions that can be simply answered with "yes" or "no," because these won't necessarily encourage the other person to open up. [4]
    • Try asking questions like, "What kind of music do you listen to?" or "I understand you're very active in the church. Are you involved in any outreach programs?"
    • Most parents love asking about their children, so you might ask something like, "Mr. Taylor, what was Josh like when he was a little boy?"
5

Be yourself.

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    If they ask you questions, answer them honestly to tell them about yourself. If you’re naturally funny, don’t be afraid to throw out a few jokes, as long as they’re appropriate. You don’t have to put on an act for his parents—the more real you are, the more they’ll like you! [5]
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6

Bond over your shared interests.

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    [6] Try bringing it up in conversation or suggesting an activity that you could all do together. It’s a great way to bond, and you’ll get to know his parents much better that way.
    • If you follow the same sports team, you might say something like, "Hey Mr. Brown, how about the game last weekend? I can't believe we got a touchdown with 1 second on the clock!"
    • If you all like fishing, you might try, “Any fish biting this weekend? I was thinking of heading out on the lake if either of you would like to join me.”
7

Treat your boyfriend well.

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    Above all, your boyfriend's parents just want to know that he's loved and happy. [7] Try not to bicker or argue around his parents, and save any criticisms for when you two are alone. Work to have open communication, trust, and respect for a healthy relationship overall.
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8

Be respectful of his parents’ rules and traditions.

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    When you're around your boyfriend's parents, go out of their way to follow their house rules, the rules they've set for your boyfriend, and any cultural or religious traditions they observe in their home. [8] This will show them that you respect them, which will go a long way toward getting them to love you.
    • For instance, if his parents ask that you take your shoes off before coming inside, don’t make a fuss, and follow their house rules.
    • If his parents are religious and ask that you join them for a church service, make time to tag along, even if you aren’t of the faith (but only if you’re comfortable going).
9

Accept invitations to family dinners and holidays.

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    Try to accept as many invitations as you can to hang out with his family more and get to know them better. It will show that you’re a reliable partner, and they’ll get to learn more about you, too. [9]
    • You can also invite his family to events that you think they might like.
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10

Keep realistic expectations for the relationship.

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    Although it's nice to have your boyfriend's parents on your side, it's not necessarily essential. If you've tried your hardest and they don't accept you, don't try to force a relationship. Instead, just focus on your relationship with your boyfriend, and give them space. If they never warm up to you, it will be up to your boyfriend to decide whether that's an important factor in his relationship with you. [10]
    • If your boyfriend's parents seem standoffish at first, they might not want to get too emotionally attached until they see that the relationship is serious. Try not to take this personally, and allow them to get comfortable with you on their own terms, no matter how long that takes.
11

Save PDA for later.

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    When you’re with your boyfriend and his family, save any kissing or heavy petting for when you two are alone. In general, holding hands or light kisses on the mouth are okay, as long as it isn’t constant! [11]
    • If you’re unsure about what his parents are okay with, follow your boyfriend’s lead. He probably knows just how much PDA is okay around his family.
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Win Over Your Boyfriend's Family and Friends with This Expert Series

Winning over your boyfriend's family and friends may be difficult, but it's not impossible. You can win them over and even make them your biggest fans with this expert series.
1
Get Along with Your Boyfriend's Sister
2
Get Along with Your Boyfriend's Mom
3
Get Your Parents to Like Your Boyfriend
4
Make Your Boyfriend's Parents Love You
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13 Expert Tips to Impress Your Boyfriend’s Friends and Win Them Over
6
What to Do When Your Boyfriend Has a Girl Best Friend

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  • Question
    My boyfriend and I got separated from each other because his parents dislike me. I don't know what to do about it. I miss him so much and I want to set things right. What do I do? March 3 is our 1 year
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
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    First, find out if your boyfriend is still interested in rekindling the relationship. If so, ask if he can arrange another meeting between his parents and you. Apologize for anything that you might have done to cause friction, and tell them you'd really like another chance to prove yourself to them.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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  • Question
    What if his parents doesn't like who I am?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    Remember, you can't ever guarantee that someone else will like you. Try your best to make a good impression on them by being considerate and kind, but don't obsess over it. If you and your boyfriend are meant to be together, you will, regardless of anyone else's opinion.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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  • Question
    what if i am not allowed to date at all what should i do
    wikiHow Staff Editor
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    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    Sometimes, it's easier to follow your parents' rules until you're old enough to get out on your own. However, if you and your boyfriend really love each other, you might try sitting down and talking to your parents about how you feel. Try to stay calm, and remember to be a good listener, too, which may show them how mature you are.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.brides.com/how-to-make-a-great-first-impression-with-your-partners-parents-4103161
      2. ↑ https://emilypost.com/advice/parents-meet-parents
      3. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/g2234/meeting-the-parents/?slide=3
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201701/5-signs-know-if-your-significant-others-parents-you
      5. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/g2234/meeting-the-parents/?slide=9
      6. ↑ Erika Kaplan. Relationship Advisor. Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.
      7. ↑ Erika Kaplan. Relationship Advisor. Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.
      8. ↑ Erika Kaplan. Relationship Advisor. Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201701/5-signs-know-if-your-significant-others-parents-you
      1. ↑ Erika Kaplan. Relationship Advisor. Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.
      2. ↑ https://www.girl.com.au/top-ten-etiquette-tips-when-meeting-your-boyfriends-parents.htm

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      It’s natural to want your boyfriend’s parents to love you, and while you can’t control how they feel, there are things you can do to make a great impression. Before you meet his parents, ask your boyfriend about their jobs, personalities, and cultures so you know what to expect. When you meet them, smile, introduce yourself, and offer them a handshake or hug. You might also offer a compliment like, "You have such a nice home." Ask open-ended questions to get to know them better, like what type of music they like or what your boyfriend was like as a kid. If you're worried about keeping the conversation going, prepare a few questions ahead of time to ask. To learn how to build a closer relationship with your boyfriend’s parents, read on!

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