How to Make Your Long Distance Boyfriend Miss You

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Long distance relationships are wonderful, but sometimes it can be hard to tell if your boyfriend is missing you as much as you're missing him. If you're looking for ways to stay front and center in your boyfriend's mind, you've come to the right place! In this article, we’ve put together a list of techniques you can use to get your boyfriend thinking about how awesome you are and how much he misses you.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, John Keegan, founder of The Awakened Lifestyle. Check out the full interview here.

1

Send him a surprise care package.

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  1. Pack a box up with his favorite snacks, a nice card, and a few small gifts that you know he’ll love, but don’t tell him you’re sending him anything! He’ll be so shocked when he gets his mail, and he’ll probably be very grateful. [1]
    • Try coming up with a theme for your care package to make it easier to pack. For instance, if your boyfriend loves coffee, you could send him a cute new mug and a fancy bag of coffee beans.
    • If he’s a huge sports fan, you might throw in a baseball hat, a foam finger, and some merch from his favorite team.
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2

Text him things that remind you of him.

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  1. If you’re out and about and you stumble across something that makes you think of your boyfriend, shoot him a text to let him know. It can be someone that looks like him, something that reminds you of an inside joke you share, or simply a place that you wish he was there to experience. [2]
    • You could say something like, “I just walked past that park where we saw that giant dog last year. I can’t believe the owner was so tiny.”
    • Or, “I’m heading to our favorite bakery to pick up donuts for the office. Wish you were here to grab a scone with me.”
    • Reader Poll: We asked 386 wikiHow readers, and 66% agreed that the gesture they think would make their long-distance boyfriend feel the most special is sending him sweet messages . [Take Poll]
3

Be positive and upbeat when you two chat.

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  1. It’s fine to have a bad day every now and then, but try to maintain a positive attitude for the most part. If you can turn his bad mood into a good one and make him feel great, he’ll miss you even more. [3]
    • Try to be positive about your relationship, too. Going long distance is tough, but if you both keep an upbeat attitude about it, it will make it much easier.
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4

Support him from afar.

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  1. Even though you can’t be with him in person, you can still support him through phone calls, video chats, and text messages. Do whatever you can to let him know you’re thinking about him, and encourage him to do hard or scary things. [4]
    • For instance, if you know he has a tough meeting with his boss that day, you might text him something like, “Good luck at the meeting! You’re going to crush it!”
    • If he’s stuck studying for a really hard exam, you might say, “You’ve been working so hard lately. I know you’re gonna ace this test.”
5

Flirt with him over text.

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  1. If he sends you a cute selfie, tell him how handsome he looks or what you wish you could do to him. Talk about all the stuff you’re going to do together once you see each other in person so he can’t help but miss your presence as you text. [5]
    • You could say something like , “I’m supposed to be working right now, but I can’t stop thinking about your cute face.”
    • Or, “That picture you posted earlier has got me all hot and bothered. I wish you were here right now.”
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6

Send him a spicy selfie.

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  1. If you’re comfortable with it, you could even send something a little more risqué, like you in lingerie. A fun, flirty selfie out of the blue is sure to get his engine revving, and he’ll probably be thinking about you for the rest of the day. [6]
    • You can also send him a selfie if you’re heading out and you got all dressed up. Anything that breaks from your normal day-to-day look is a good thing to send him a pic of.
7

Try sexting or having phone sex.

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  1. Since you two can’t physically touch each other, keeping the sexual tension alive can be tough. However, with a few sexual text messages or a description of what you’d do to each other in person, you can keep the spark going and make him miss you even more. Try to initiate this when you know he’s not busy, like at the end of the day before he goes to sleep. [7]
    • Phone sex and sexting can feel a little awkward at first, but it helps to try them with someone you’re totally comfortable with.
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8

Let him text or call you first.

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  1. If you feel like you put more effort into contacting him, try waiting until he contacts you first. After a little while, he might start thinking about how he hasn’t heard from you. Then, he’ll either text or call you, and you’ll know that you’re on his mind. [8]
    • Sometimes people don’t realize that they’re always the first person to reach out. If you usually initiate contact, it might be worth having a conversation with your boyfriend about it.
9

Wait a few hours before responding to him.

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  1. If you wait for a couple of hours to respond to a text or call, he’ll probably be wondering about where you are, who you’re with, and what you’re doing. You shouldn’t ignore him for a long time (that could cause more problems than it’s worth), but if you’re actually busy, you can let him wait for a little bit. [9]
    • Try not to do this if you two have scheduled a phone call or video chat, though. That could make him feel like you don’t care about him.
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10

Go out with your friends.

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  1. Get all gussied up and head out for a drink or to the club with your friends. Snap some photos and either send them to your boyfriend or post them on social media so he can see all the fun you’re having. If he can tell that you don’t rely on him 100% to have a good time, he might start missing you even more. [10]
    • If you’re heading out and you don’t want to text him the whole time, you could say something like, “Hey, I’m going out tonight with Gina and Maggie, so I probably won’t be on my phone much.”
11

Text a photo of you doing something fun.

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  1. When you’re out on an adventure or grabbing a drink with friends, send him a picture of yourself so he can see what you’re doing without him. You don’t have to rub it in his face, but you can let him know that you’re enjoying yourself even when he isn’t around. [11]
    • You could send it along with a caption like, “Look how beautiful this hike was!” or, “Having a quick drink with friends after work 😊”
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12

Make plans to visit each other.

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  1. In long distance relationships, it’s important to visit each other as often as you can. Even if you can’t see each other right now, you can plan a dream vacation or make a bucket list of activities to do when you’re finally together. Looking forward toward the future is a great way to get your boyfriend to miss you when you’re not around. [12]
    • If you’re feeling cheeky, you could even plan a surprise visit to go and see him! You might want to tell him the day before you get in, just so he doesn’t have to rearrange his whole schedule.
13

Work toward your own goals.

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  1. While it can sometimes feel like all you should be doing is waiting for your boyfriend, there are tons of things you can do while he’s away to better yourself and your life. Write out your goals and make solid, concrete steps toward achieving them. Not only will this make your boyfriend love you even more, but you’ll also make your own life even better. [13]
    • For instance, if you want to change career paths, you might start taking classes at your local community college.
    • If you want to get fit, you might start a workout routine or hire a personal trainer.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do I talk to my long distance boyfriend?
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    The best way to make your boyfriend love you more on a phone or video call is to give him your undivided attention. Try to really listen to what they're saying and try to empathize with them.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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    Not Helpful 10 Helpful 53
  • Question
    Why do most long distance relationships fail?
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Problems usually arise when there’s no bigger plan for the couple. You guys should discuss where your relationship is going in the future and agree that you’re not always going to be long distance. Obviously, you’ll need to work things out in the meantime, spending some quality time apart.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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      References

      1. ↑ https://lastingthedistance.com/long-distance-relationship-care-package-ideas/
      2. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.
      3. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUjIXUM68KU&t=346s
      4. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=421&v=BUjIXUM68KU&feature=youtu.be
      5. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.
      6. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.
      7. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/30/smarter-living/coronavirus-long-distance-relationships.html
      8. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=265&v=PqIkB_OTvRI&feature=youtu.be
      9. ↑ Joshua Pompey. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.
      1. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=372&v=PqIkB_OTvRI&feature=youtu.be
      2. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.
      3. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/30/smarter-living/coronavirus-long-distance-relationships.html
      4. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=177&v=BUjIXUM68KU&feature=youtu.be

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